Hole: Nobody's Daughter

I feel bad for Courtney Love. Hole's new album, Nobody's Daughter, isn't exactly making critics happy, but the truth is she would have to be pushing record of the year material to make up for past transgressions. Some critics even panned it before it was released.

I have a complicated relationship with iconic '90s figures. I spent my late teens and early twenties during the part of that decade when the alternative became the mainstream, but I avoided a lot of dark, plodding grunge music coming from the Northwest. It was all so dire and bleak. I like my punk happy -- or at least to kind of sound that way even if its lyrics aren't. Needless to say, I was never a much of a Hole fan, but I'm a stealth defender of Courtney Love. I love her "warts and all" approach to both her music and her personal life. Plus, she was one of the first female artists I knew to use the "F" word -- you know, feminism. Pretty brave thing to do in rock's boys' club atmosphere. I'm not ready to discount her just yet.

Nobody's Daughter isn't the mess critics are making it out to be. It's probably not going to win any awards, but it's a pretty decent rock album. On songs like "Honey" and "For Once in Your Life," it sounds like her voice is aging into a Marianne Faithfull-esque croak, but the old howl is still there. She says the record is about "greed, vengeance and feminism." And you can't argue with that.

Well Isn't That Smurfy?

In case you haven't heard, there's a Smurfs movie under way. When I first heard this, I thought "Bad idea! Kids today don't know the Smurfs!" But then I thought that about Alvin & the Chipmunks and that flick made a ton of scratch. Like Alvin & the Chipmunks, The Smurfs film is a hybrid live-action/animated flick. And the cast they've been lining up is ridiculously huge.

Earlier this week, Deadline announced that Paul Reubens (A.K.A. Pee Wee Herman) has signed on to be the voice of Jokey Smurf. Check out the list of people that he will be joining on this project:

Furry Vengeance: A Review in Haiku

Oy! Furry Vengeance.
Ninety minutes of my life
I'll never get back.

My daughter and I
Caught it at a free screening.
We paid way too much.

Brendan Fraser stars,
Is hoodwinked by animals.
Eddie Murphy booked?

Predictable plot.
Heavy-handed green message.
See Nightmare instead.

But if you must go
(You have kids or you're crazy),
Here is some advice.

When end credits start,
RUN! Or you'll hear a crappy
"Insane in the Brain."

[photo]

Sleigh Bells, "Tell 'Em"

If you need help waking up today, listen to this.

From, um, two days ago or something, here's Sleigh Bells with "Tell 'Em."

Enjoy!



[source]

An Ode To Kyle Reese

Let's all climb aboard my red velvet covered time machine (yes, I try to go in style) and travel back shall we?

Oh look! It's 1984 and I am sporting some calf strangling knee socks along with a full mouth of metal, hair that defies gravity and heavy purple Cover girl eyeshadow.

I'm now a total movie buff due to the advent of the mini bus which is sort of on the same level as the holy grail for young teens. It has handed us the ability to get to the theater minus parental constraints or interference and it's the first real taste of freedom any of us have ever had.

Something To Believe In

Unless you've spent the last few days hiding under a rock, you've heard about the massive brain hemorrhage that former Poison frontman Bret Michaels suffered late last week. A lifelong diabetic, Bret had barely gotten over an emergency appendectomy earlier this month before he was rushed back to the hospital with a brutal headache.

I kept my eye on the news all weekend - I admit, I was sort of expecting a tragic update. I mean, I'm all for positive thinking, but the initial reports sounded pretty grim, what with words like massive, brain stem and subarachnoid being thrown around.

Imperial Drag, "Boy or a Girl"

This is the second song I played last night on Culture Brats Radio. It's my favorite song about cross dressing.

Do you have a favorite song about cross dressing? You should.

From 1996, here's Imperial Drag's "Boy Or A Girl."

Enjoy!

Joni Mitchell On John Kelly, Bob Dylan, And More

Last week the Los Angeles Times had an interesting interview with folk legend Joni Mitchell, and John Kelly, a dude who does a Joni tribute show (in drag). The Times got both performers together to see what Joni thought of the tribute and she talked about it, along with a number of other things. The whole article is worth a read, but here were a couple of things that lept out at me:

Joni, on her catalogue:

Lots-o'-Huggin'

Remember this toy from the '80s?



If you don't, that's okay. 'Cause it didn't exist. It's part of a brilliant viral video campaign by Pixar for the upcoming Toy Story 3.

Those guys absolutely rule.

Keep Feeling... Charcoal?

So I saw the following ad yesterday. Listen carefully:



In addition to being a horrible cover, it's a terrible song to use to sell charcoal. Couldn't they have used "Light My Fire?" "Start Me Up?" But no, they had to reboot, remake, and regurgitate The Human League's "Fascination," one of my favorite songs from the early '80s.

So here's what we'd like you to do for this week's Your Say Hump Day: list the commercials which contain the worst uses of rock music.

Go!

Talking Heads, "Road To Nowhere"

When I bought Little Creatures, my first reaction was, "What the hell is this?"

But it had nothing to do with the music.

It was the packaging that left me confused.

Spoof in the City

I LOVED Sex and the City! But when the movie came out... meh, not so much. At the scene where the "girls" all threw themselves on the bed, giggling, and holding their martinis aloft, I suddenly felt like I was watching Slumber Party 3: Revenge of the 12-year-olds. When I heard Sex and the City 2 was coming out I had to stifle a groan... and a nagging curiosity.

See, my love of the series leaves me conflicted. This about sums it up perfectly.

Making a Comeback: Popped Polo Collars

Like Weirdgirl, I've noticed a trend in fashion - the return of the '80s. Now I (obviously) love the '80s but I honestly think that the fashion of that decade needs to remain good and dead. There were very few good things about it. Really.

While on vacation last week it looked like my luggage might be lost so I hit the nearest Old Navy for a few cheap emergency replacements. And while I was browsing the clearance section I noticed something kind of scary - a polo shirt with built in double collars to give you that '80s look of wearing layered polos without adding a whole extra layer of shirts. Remember that? I tried it once or twice back in the day and nearly melted in the mid-west heat, and felt like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man to boot. Puffy and sweaty is not sexy.

Wheatus, "Teenage Dirtbag"

Yesterday, I ran into a friend I haven't seen since high school. Freaky.

That's like 3 years ago in dog years!

From 2000, here's "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus.

Enjoy!

Ferris Bueller: Hero or Zero?

On today's Criss Cross Counter Punch, Mamatulip and Chag take a look at Ferris Bueller -- the man, the myth, and the movie -- to determine whether he was a hero or zero.

* * *

Mamatulip: He's a regular high school senior who ditched class in favour of spending a gorgeous spring day painting downtown Chicago red. With his girlfriend, Sloane, and best friend Cameron in tow, he dines at a swanky restaurant, hijacks a parade to perform atop a float, takes in a Cubs game and tours the town in Cameron's father's prized '61 Ferrari GT California. He leads his clueless principal on a clumsy, fruitless chase across town, nearly puts his sister in the clink and, by the end of the day, has most of the town believing he's on his deathbed.

He is a truant, a rebel; he is, without a doubt, the undisputed King of Skipping School. For a little while, he was The Sausage King of Chicago.

He is Ferris Bueller, Hero.

New York Needs More Escaping From?

Well it looks like there's another '80s franchise reboot in the works. IMDb News is reporting that Breck Eisner (son of ex-Disney head Michael Eisner, who recently directed the remake of The Crazies) has been tapped to direct a remake of Escape From New York.

Now, it's been years since I saw the flick but I honestly don't know who you'd cast to replace Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken.

So my Bratty friends, since this is probably gonna happen, who would you like to see as Snake Plissken 2.0?

Set Your DVRs: Week of April 26, 2010

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, April 26th
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Gogol Bordello
Late Show with David Letterman: David Sanborn
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Melissa Etheridge

Little Man Tate, "Man I Hate Your Band"

Maybe I'm getting old.

Maybe I'm out of touch.

Or maybe I'm just cranky.

But I'm finding myself feeling this way about more and more bands nowadays.

From 2006, here's "Man I Hate Your Band" by Little Man Tate.

Enjoy!

Mixtape: '80s Music

On Wednesday night, we devoted our show to '80s music on Culture Brats Radio. In case you missed it or just want to reminisce, here's the playlist:

Join the Culture Brats Team

We here at Culture Brats have decided that in order to achieve world saturation, salvation, and domination, we might need a few more soldiers.

Or writers, if you want to lose all that kick ass imagery we conjured up.

We've been doing this for four weeks now, so you've probably got a pretty good idea what we're all about and what we're shooting for. If not, go through the archives. Read more about us. Meet our writers.

And if you're interested, please send a sample to culturebrats@gmail.com.

Writing sample! You can keep your urine.

New M.I.A. Song: "Born Free"

"Born Free," off M.I.A.'s upcoming album, kicks major ass. Give it a listen!

[original source/second source]

Musical Youth, "Pass The Dutchie"

A word of advice to all aspiring musicians out there:

Give your band a name you can grow into, not out of.

Do call yourself Awesome, Thor, or THE GREATEST FREAKING BAND EVER!!! (Caps and exclamation points are optional)

Don't have the following words in your name: boy, youth, new, or Menudo (which I think is Spanish for hairless male).

Why?

Better Time-Traveling Flick: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure vs. Back to the Future

Now that the Hot Tub Time Machine has more or less been drained as it limps off movie screens, let's turn our attention to two classic time-traveling franchises. On today's Criss Cross Counter Punch, The Weirdgirl and Archphoenix debate who were the better time traveller(s): Bill & Ted or Marty McFly?

* * *

The Weirdgirl: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure is pure energy. This immediately makes it the better pick of time travel movies. There are not many movies that can keep you grinning the entire time but Bill & Ted's manages to do it. It doesn't get bogged down in too many subplots or angsty worries about the space-time continuum (yawn) like Back to the Future. It's just plain fun.

I also think it's the more realistic of the two movies. Bill and Ted got mileage out of their time travels. They went to multiple eras. They partied with interesting people. Really, if you had a time machine, would you go back to one time and slouch around whining about your parents for the entire trip then slink back home? Or would you have taken that machine for a real spin as soon as you got it back up and running? Bill and Ted understood the value of the time traveling tool and theirs was the more realistic teenage response: deal with the crisis at hand and look for babes, while also having the time of your life. And no matter how crazy things got you noticed that not once did Bill OR Ted make out with a family member, right? (What's wrong with you Marty?)

Don't You Forget About Meeee

I am pretty sure that The Culture Brats are the reason behind this whole eighties resurgence. Right? Because before I begged to be a part of the brilliance going on right here these things didn't just pop up for me and now it seems the eighties are everywhere I look.

I just came across the book You Couldn't Ignore Me If You Tried: The Brat Pack, John Hughes and Their Impact on a Generation By Susannah Gora that was published by Crown Publishing Group in February.

The website for the book, BratPackBook.com, has some fun things like music from the movies and a place where you can find out which John Hughes character you are.

My name is Farmer Ted and I think I have to have it.

Herbie Hancock, "Rockit"

You know what, boy? Back in my day, we didn't want words sullying up our songs. All we needed was a synth and a drum machine.

Seriously? Do you remember how many hits we had in the '80s that didn't have vocals?

• "Chariots Of Fire" reached number one.
• "Miami Vice Theme" reached number one.
• Kenny G.'s "Songbird" reached number four.
• "Axel F" reached number three.
• "Hill Street Blues Theme" reached number ten.
• "Love Theme From St. Elmo's Fire" reached number fifteen.
• "Theme From Magnum P.I." reached twenty-five.

So, What's Your Real Name?

"I had fifteen hundred dollars, a duffel bag, a dream and a five hundred dollar 1974 Volvo. My father thought I was crazy." --Keith Elam

Way back when I was a starving college student studying journalism in the big city, I wrote for an online music magazine. Run by a friend of mine, it was a small-scale operation, but it afforded me the opportunity to meet, interview and photograph some very cool musicians, most notably Henry Rollins, The Reverend Horton Heat and Guru, one of hip hop's most legendary MCss.

I jumped at the chance to interview Guru as he passed through town, and trudged my way through the season's first big snowstorm - on public transit - to get to the venue. I was wet, cold and snotty-nosed mess by the time I reached the venue he was performing at that night, but I didn't care. One of my best friends, a hip-hop aficionado in his own right, had gotten me hooked on Gang Starr a few years prior, and I was unabashedly star struck at the thought of meeting the outfit's MC, let alone interviewing the guy.

It was an interview that I will never, ever forget – because Guru was one of the most interesting and engaging people I have ever had the chance to interview, and because he put me in my place before I'd even asked my second question.

Culture Brats Radio Debuts Tonight

Starting tonight at 10 PM ET, we will be hosting a weekly 90-minute music show on Twitter. Each week, we'll play songs that pertain to a certain theme.

To kick things off, we'll be playing '80s music tonight.

You'll be able to make requests during the show by sending us tweets.

Sound cool? Follow us on Twitter and drop by tonight.

Questions? Leave a comment below.

4/20 On 4/21

We're a day late with this question.

But considering the subject matter, it's kind of fitting.

Here's this week's question:

Who is your favorite cinematic stoner?

Go!

Men At Work, "Overkill"

This song came out in 1983. I was 13 in 1983. I liked this song a lot but it wasn't until 10 years later that I stopped and listened to the lyrics and was like, "Whoa."

From 1983, here's Men At Work's "Overkill."

Enjoy!

A Beastly Flick

When will people ever learn? If you create a movie, album, or television show, DO NOT, under any circumstances, GIVE IT A NEGATIVE NAME THAT PEOPLE CAN USE AGAINST YOU.

If you name your album Suck or Crap or Awful or The Worst Album Ever Made, you're making it way too easy for the critics. You'll read a lot of reviews claiming the album lives up to its name.

Which is why I pity the creators of Beastly. Because it really does look beastly.



Doogie won't be able to save this film.

Glee Has the Power of Madonna

I have been a huge Madonna fan ever since she started releasing music in the 80s. I haven't loved all of her albums (ok, I DESPISED American Life) but she's definitely been a musical force and fascinating to watch. I'm also a fan of Glee, the new FOX show about a high school glee club. So I was pretty thrilled when I heard that Glee was going to do a whole episode of Madonna music. Turns out Madge is also a fan and gave them permission to go crazy with her catalogue.

But more exciting? To drum up interest for the episode, Jane Lynch, who I ADORE and is truly outstanding on Glee, is featured in a nearly shot by shot recreation of the "Vogue" video.

Faster Pussycat, "Don't Change That Song"

I was extremely disappointed to read Archphoenix's post yesterday where she couldn't believe that Ratt was still together. Where the hell has she been?

Dismayed, I had no other choice but to buy her lawn tix to Rock N America, a three-day rock festival of awesomeness with the following lineup: Scorpions, Twisted Sister, Ratt, Dokken, Warrant, Great White, Lita Ford, Slaughter, Sebastian Bach, L.A. Guns (unfortunately, it's the Tracii Guns version), Firehouse, Bullet Boys, Lynch Mob, Pretty Boy Floyd, Steelheart, Faster Pussycat, Enuff Z' Nuff, Toxin, with more bands to be announced!

It's Never That Time

Just as the sounds of the 80s have made their way back into popular music so has the fads of 80s fashion come creeping back. Acid wash, neon colors, and diagonal stripes have all popped up in stores and on celebrity asses (stop it, Rihanna). I swear I saw a 9-year-old the other day wearing the same outfit I wore to a junior high dance. Of course, along with the old-trends-made-new there are a few clothing pieces that have never really gone away. Items that have slyly reinvented themselves, showing up on runways over and over, clinging desperately to a sort of fabric half-life in a refusal to go to that great back of the closet in the sky. Pieces that are now taking full advantage of the 80s revival.

Everything Is Coming Round and Round

I was browsing the iTunes store (where I cleaned up on the '80s music sale) and another album caught my eye. Ratt has a new album coming out tomorrow. Ratt. I didn't even know they were still around! Here's a little reminder of the awesome power of Ratt.

Set Your DVRs: Week of April 19, 2010

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, April 19th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Cypress Hill with Tom Morello
Last Call with Carson Daly: Weezer (R)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Phoenix

Supercute!, "Not To Write About Boys"

Allow me to be completely honest here: I discovered The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players while watching Noggin's Jack's Big Music Show with my kids one day. The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players is a family trio (Mom, Dad, and daughter) who finds photo slides at estate sales and writes songs about them. The mom then projects the slides on a screen at their concerts while the Dad and daughter perform the songs.

Got it?

Anyway, their sixteen-year-old daughter, Rachel Trachtenburg, has another band called Supercute!. And this is their new song. In addition to being super cute, it's also super cool.

Saturday at the Arcade: Home Edition

At the dawn of the 21st century, when the video game systems hooked up to our living room TVs far surpass anything we could have dreamed of in the 80s, there are entire generations of people (yes...we're that old) who never spent a Saturday afternoon hanging out at a video arcade. Even my wife, who is a mere seven years younger than me, is far enough removed from the early days of video games that she never planned a day around an arcade visit either.

Back in the day, there was nothing that got me quite as excited as hanging out in a roomful of video games. (I was a geek back then...I didn't have many "excitement" options.) The peak of the video game boom hit right around the time I started high school. Back then, there was an arcade in every shopping center. And if you weren't near a shopping center? No problem! Pretty much every commercial establishment had at least one video game. On my walk home from school every day, I ran a veritable gauntlet of my favorite games. There was Missile Command (at a pizza parlor), Wizard of Wor (at a deli), and Pac-Man (at the convenience store). Needless to say, I never made it home from school with any quarters in my pocket.

It's Mario Time!

As a child of the '80s, I grew up on slouch socks and banana clips, after-school specials, Tab and (of course) Nintendo.

I didn't have my own system, but every Friday night my mother would drive me to the video store so I could rent one for the weekend. I'd set it all up, plug in the gun and shoot some ducks for a while before getting down to business, Super Mario style.

I ate, breathed and slept Super Mario Bros. When I wasn't playing in real life, I was jumping on Goomba's and fighting Bowser to rescue the princess in my mind. It's an obsession a love that I've passed that on to my kids – they love the new version, almost as much as my husband and I do.

Record Store Day

Saturday is Record Store Day.

You remember record stores, right? They're the places we used to frequent to buy albums, tapes, and CDs, talk about music, and check out posters and rock tees before Al Gore invented the Internet and Hot Topic.

Yeah, the big box stores deserve some of the blame, too. But it was the Internet that dealt the death blow. Damn you, technology!

Shall We Play a Game?

Who wants to buy me something totally geeky and awesomely useless?

Engadget is reporting that the prop computer that Matthew Broderick used to connect to W.O.P.R. and hack the military in the 1983 film WarGames is up for sale!

The Flaming Lips, "Five Stop Mother Superior Rain"

The Flaming Lips will be appearing on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon tonight. Unfortunately, I'm assuming they'll be playing something from Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon given Stardeath and White Dwarfs are performing with them.

Oh well.

Wayne, if you're reading, and I'm sure that you are, would you consider playing one of the following at tonight's taping? Thanks!

Those Old, Crappy Video Games Might Put Your Kids Through College One Day

A couple of days ago, my husband packed up our Atari, threw the game cartridges in a milk crate and took the system to his brother's house. I gotta admit, I was kind of glad to see it go at first – it wasn't hooked up, the only game I ever played on it was Ladybug (which I totally ROCK at, BTW) and it was taking up space in our basement. But then I read an article about a guy who sold a really rare Atari game on eBay and walked away about thirty thousand dollars richer, and I found myself wondering if, instead of playing the lottery, we should be taking a closer look at our collection of unwanted and unused video games before giving them away.

Styx, "Come Sail Away"

Here's a song that commands you to roll down the windows and crank the volume as you set an open course for the virgin sea.

Better Film: Pretty in Pink vs. Sixteen Candles

Today we bring you an epic Criss Cross Counter Punch as Tania and Mr. Big Dubya debate which was the better film: Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles.

* * *

Tania: Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles. Both defining movies of my childhood. Both helped lead me through that bitch called puberty. Both watched eleventy billion times, each, by me. And that's just in the past year.

But though Sixteen Candles may seem to have the obvious edge - humor! Jake Ryan! - I believe Pretty In Pink is, in fact, the superior movie of the two for two reasons - Andie and Duckie. And Steph. Shoot, that's three. Anyway...

Since both movies were Molly Ringwald vehicles, the first is easy to break down. Andie Walsh vs Samantha Baker:

Oh No... Here I Go

I have a confession to make. I absolutely love "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake and when it comes on the radio, I pump up the volume, roll down the windows, and pretend I am Tawny Kitaen, although my hair used to look much more like David Coverdale's and my clothes are not nearly as sheer as hers. I then dial a friend's phone, set it down on the seat, and sing really loudly and really badly for her, not even knowing if she is listening and quite frankly, not caring at all. (no wonder she never picks up when I call)

It is guaranteed to make me smile when I am driving. But what should never ever have happened with this song is a cover. I was horrified by this and now I am afraid that my love for this song may forever be tainted and I need to share it with you all.

So I need help. I need a new hair band song I can harass my friend with. It must be cheesy good with a catchy hook and big hair. (at least as cheesy as my little '80s musical references I can't keep myself from sprinkling my posts with, for which I apologize.)

Foxy Shazam, "Oh Lord"

I'm not 100% sure this is a real band.

They kind of remind me of The Darkness.

Except with Fake Freddie Mercury fronting them. Or maybe it's Doug Henning?

All I know is this song kicks much ass and I can't stop listening to it.

And Fake Freddie Mercury/Doug Henning Hybrid has some pipes.

Nine, Ten, Never Watch Again

Confession: Despite being a fan of '80s horror and a critic of Hollywood's desire to remake every movie ever made, I saw the Michael Bayed Friday the 13th on opening weekend. Hypocrite.

But I will not see the Bayed A Nightmare on Elm Street when it hits theaters on April 30th. Even though I was a bigger fan of the Friday the 13th movies, I feel remaking Nightmare is the greater abomination.

Why?

We're Going Down Tubes (There's a Pirate Ship)

I had a really lazy weekend and spent some time reading the internet. Nerdist had a link to a video that he called Goonies: The Musical which I found intriguing. His post had a video called "Tubes" in it, which I found both lodged in my brain and fascinating. I had to know more about this project so here's what I learned.

Two guys, Rob Dean and Keith Doughty, have been writing songs for a Goonies musical and have been cutting videos from the film to support the songs. /Film has embedded all the videos in their article about the endeavor so you can head over there to view them all. The one I've chosen to post is called "Sloth's Song" and I chose it because I really enjoy the '80s hair metal ballad feeling of the song.

Record Club, "Devil Inside"

Over the past few days, I have seen this song posted to nearly every music/mp3 blog I frequent. I've listened to it several times, and it doesn't matter how many times I hear it, my initial review holds true:

I can't stand it.

Battleship Vs. Whaaa??

It's not that they're making a feature version of the game Battleship (which I can understand way more than the movie version of Monopoly that Ridley Scott is developing). And it's not that they're casting Gambit/Tim Riggins Taylor Kitsch to star. It's that when I picture a movie based on Battleship, I don't see aliens. Yet, it appears that there will indeed be aliens.

Set Your DVRs: Week of April 12, 2010

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, April 12th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Them Crooked Vultures
Last Call with Carson Daly: Grizzly Bear (R)
Late Show with David Letterman: Spoon (R)
Lopez Tonight: Slash
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Sade

Terrence Trent D'arby, "Wishing Well"

In 1987, Terrence Trent D'Arby released his debut album, Introducing the Hardline According to Terence Trent D'Arby. The album spawned two Top 5 hits. If Wikipedia is to be believed, that album sold over twelve million copies.

He followed it up with the equally obnoxiously titled Neither Fish Nor Flesh: A Soundtrack of Love, Faith, Hope & Destruction. The album was critically acclaimed and some, like myself, preferred it over Hardline. The album sold 4 million copies but, like all his future releases, failed to chart any singles.

Real Genius Redux

Cinematical had news this week that made me literally proclaim "Oh nooooooo!" prompting my husband to look at my in concern thinking it was something really important. And it is. Columbia Pictures is looking at remaking an 80's classic - Real Genius.

I. Love. Real Genius.

If you've not seen it, and it seems like many people haven't, Real Genius is the story of super smart high school kids in a special school for the super smart. Val Kilmer (who is totally adorable in this) is the world weary senior who's helping a new freshman (one of the youngest ever accepted to the school) get acclimated. Crazy fun science projects, high school back stabbing, and laser building ensues. Turns out the kids are being used to build something for the military which makes them unhappy - the kids want to do science that helps, not kills.

On to the Great Rock n' Roll Swindle in the Sky: RIP Malcolm McLaren

They burst on to the music scene in the late 70s, trailing safety-pins, anarchy and a keen sense of anti-establishment behind them. They shocked the good people of Britain with their lyrics and awed with their garish attire, spiked hair and studded armbands. Though their punk rock reign was brief – an ill-fated venture from the get-go, if you will – Johnny Rotten, Steve Jones, Paul Cook, Glen Matlock and later, Sid Vicious, a.k.a. The Sex Pistols, notoriously secured their position in music’s history as five of punk’s founding fathers, alongside their manager, Malcolm McLaren.

Malcolm McLaren, "Double Dutch"

This is not the video or musical artist I had planned for today.

I briefly mentioned the man on Wednesday.

He created and managed the band I highlighted on Thursday.

The poor bastard died on Thursday.

Home Decorating, '80s Style

I'm an avid online shopper. I don't always BUY the stuff that I find, but I totally covet things. And I have lists and lists of things that, if I had a gajillion dollars and a big house, I'd go to town on. Since I'm basically just hoarding cool stuff in my imaginary house I figured I'd share the wealth because this stuff is just so awesome that SOMEONE should own it. Incidentally, if someone just wants to give me a gajillion dollars and/or a big house, I'm down for that too. My email's in the sidebar.

So I'll periodically post cool stuff that I stumble across in the "Gimme That!" segment of this here website. And I'd like to start with a print that I think I'm actually going to buy as an excuse to dress up our home office.

The Office In a Galaxy Far Far Away

At the risk of mixing conflicting sci-fi references, Star Wars is about to boldly go where it has never gone before... into the world of the sitcom.

It's been reported that Seth Green and Matthew Senreich, creators of the fantastically warped show Robot Chicken, are working with Lucasfilm to hatch a Star Wars comedy that sounds like an Office take on Star Wars.

Comedy and Star Wars go hand in hand. From the classic Christmas special (starring Bea Arthur!) to the animated treatments from Family Guy and Robot Chicken to the prequels themselves ("Noooooooooooo!"), there has been a lot to laugh at in the Star Wars universe.

Bow Wow Wow, "C30, C60, C90, Go!"

I know I wasn't the only one.

I remember lying on the floor, waiting for the DJ to play my favorite song. As soon as I heard him mention it, I sprung to life, hitting the PAUSE button as fast as I could.

From 1980, here's "C30, C60, C90, Go!" by Bow Wow Wow.

Better Babysitter: Uncle Buck vs. Chris Parker

In today's Criss Cross Counter Punch, A Vapid Blonde and Daddy Geek Boy debate who was the better babysitter: Uncle Buck or Adventures In Babysitting's Chris Parker.

* * *

A Vapid Blonde: Dear Daddy Geek Boy, Seeing as though you have yet to start the great debate I declare a total smack down: UNCLE BUCK WINS! And he is the Best. Baby. Sitter. Ever.

The arguments for Uncle Buck are numerous, from his ability to be there every moment he is needed to making THE MOST AWESOME PANCAKE EVER. He is the guy you want watching your children. As opposed to Chris, whose decision-making capabilities are slim to none.

Should you want to concede here and now I would completely understand.

The ball is in your court.

Choose Your Own Music Festival

Hello and welcome to our very first Your Say Hump Day! Every Wednesday, we'll post a fun or thought-provoking (or maybe BOTH!) question for you to answer in the comments. Dig?

Ok.

Someone tells you to start a music festival.

Money is no issue and you can have any band still in existence perform at your festival.

Pick your five headliners.

GO!

Public Image Ltd., "Flowers Of Romance"

Did you know that Public Image Ltd. is performing on tonight's Jimmy Kimmel Live? No? Then you should be reading Set Your DVRs.

I've been highlighting songs from that genre and era all week. Today, let's play a couple of songs from the band itself.
 

Hot Chick in a Metal Bikini

Some months ago I'd read that Robert Rodriguez, (Desperado, Sin City) was prepping a reboot of the '80s flick Red Sonja and wanted his lady, Rose McGowan to take over the title role.

Empire Online is now reporting that McGowan is out, but an offer has been made to hottie Megan Fox.

If you're not familiar with the film, the original had Brigitte Nielsen as Red Sonja, a woman with revenge in her heart who is sent on a mission to defeat an evil queen and protect a magical talisman. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is basically in Conan mode, but isn't actually Conan, goes along with Sonja to protect her. And, you know, get it on, barbarian style.

Jilted John, "Jilted John"

I'm still letting Johnny Rotten influence my picks this week.

Most songs written and performed by comedians fall under the "novelty song" category.

Hell, I'd be willing to wager that ALL songs written and performed by comedians fall under the "novelty song" category except for today's selection.

Tastier Pop Tart: Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany

Both artists topped the charts twice during their careers. Both artists sold millions of records before they were old enough to vote. Both artists appeared in Playboy. But that's where the similarities end. For today's Criss Cross Counter Punch, Chag and Mamatulip debate who was the tastier pop tart: Debbie Gibson or Tiffany.

* * *

Chag: I don't even know why we're having this discussion. Debbie, excuse me, DEB-O-RAH Gibson was a musician and songwriter. "Only In My Dreams" is three-and-a-half minutes of pure sugary pop perfection. When "Foolish Beat" topped the charts, Gibson became the youngest person ever to write, perform, and produce a Billboard #1 single. She did this before she graduated high school. Tiffany, on the other hand, rose to fame by covering tunes by The Beatles and Tommy James & the Shondells.

When people stopped buying her albums, Debbie Gibson moved onto Broadway. Tiffany, on the other hand, went onto Celebrity Fit Club and Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling. "Could've Been," indeed!

Pac-Man Fever

With all of the '80s remakes, it was just a matter of time. Turns out that this is one I totally want to see:

Set Your DVRs: Week of April 5, 2010

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, April 5th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: She & Him
Last Call with Carson Daly: Arctic Monkeys (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Peter Wolf and Shelby Lynne
Late Show with David Letterman: The Swell Season (R)

The Members, "Sounds of the Suburbs"

Did you know Public Image Ltd. will be performing Wednesday night's Jimmy Kimmel Live? I'm so psyched to see the performance, you would think I was going to an actual PiL show.

I've decided to play songs from that time period for each Song of the Day for this week.

Alice Needs to Grow Up a Little

I was so excited when previews came out for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland! So excited, in fact, that when all my potential movie dates fell through I schlepped off to the movies by myself. Because I was going to see this Tim Burton flick, by god! Even if I sat sadly alone with my single popcorn amid the giggling, eager couples and groups. And my reaction, after my own heavy anticipation?

It was... good.

It was very pretty. The clothes and set were gorgeous. But honestly, I was a little disappointed in the story. When I heard this was Alice re-imagined I thought there would be more imagination involved. Sure, Alice the klutz falls down another hole and revisits "Underland" like ten years later, or something. Events had progressed along the logical sequence that one might expect under a queen's despotic rule and Alice steps into the role of heroine. In general this is known as a movie sequel. Not so bad as one that the original movie's writers refuse to work on it and it goes straight to video, but a sequel nonetheless.

Quit Messin' With My 80s!

There's an epidemic looming, folks. I'm not talking about some scary new flu or anything like that, so don't go running to Google to find out where you can get your shots. This is something far more insidious.

Movie studios remaking the movies we grew up on.

Chag already talked about the Red Dawn remake that's coming down the pike, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. The studios, apparently unable to find any writers in the world today who are able to come up with original ideas and are digging around in their film vaults for existing properties that they can "re-imagine."

Just yesterday, I ran across this article.

I'll admit that after reading the headline I was pretty psyched. I love the Vacation movies and I wouldn't mind heading out on another Griswold road trip. (Vegas Vacation didn't put me off as much as some, and I wisely stayed away from the straight-to-video Randy Quaid outing Christmas Vacation 2.) Plus that short Vacation film at www.homeaway.com proved there's still some funny left in the franchise. Not sure how it will do with Rusty as the star, but...we'll see.

Glasses Or No Glasses, That Is The Question

Like Babe Ruth did once upon a time, director James Cameron pointed to the back of the movie theater and called his shot when he said he was going to revolutionize movies with his blockbuster Avatar. The flick ended up making a gazillion dollars and taught Hollywood a very important lesson: audiences will gladly pay more money for an extra dimension.

The success of Avatar left studios scrambling to capitalize on the 3D craze that filmmakers like Cameron and Jeffrey Katzenberg predicted. The staggering success of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland only served to reinforce the decision to pump out more and more 3D movies. Theater owners are now scrambling to add more 3D projection systems in your local multiplex and movies are fighting each other for the precious few screens that are able to show 3D, as wave after wave of new product rolls out week after week.

But consumer beware, because not all 3D movies are equal.

You Might Want To Lock Your Doors, Or At Least Put In Some Earplugs

Did you hear that? That was me dropping to my knees, shaking my fists at the sky and wailing, "WHY? Not a reunion!" Don't get me wrong, I am a child of the eighties. I was young in the eighties. I had phenomenally big hair and potential in the eighties. The eighties shaped the person I eventually ended up being and that person was not and is not a fan of Boy George and Culture Club.

Maybe it's me, but I just can't wrap my little pea brain around this horrifying news that came to me via an email newsletter linking to Popeater.com where Boy George was quoted as saying, "Last time we re-formed, there was a point to it, we'll see. It's all about my mood at the time"

Lissie, "Bad Romance"

For those of you who thought I would only be spinning '80s tunes in this spot, I'm sorry to disappoint to you.

For those of you who thought I was serious yesterday when I said "Dancing On The Ceiling" was The Greatest Song In The History Of The Universe, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Check your calendar.

For the rest of you, I've got a great cover song ready to roll for today.

Red Dawn Remake Coming

Back in the mid-1980s when the US was still afraid of the Commie Pinko Russkies, a whole slew of movies came out to prove the American superiority over the scary U. S. S. R. One of those movies was Red Dawn.

Red Dawn tells the story of a joint Cuban/Soviet invasion in Colorado. A plucky group of high school kids calling themselves the Wolverines decides to fight the red menace themselves. The cast was pretty good: Patrick Swayze, Lea Thompson, Charlie Sheen and Jennifer Grey. I'm not sure I've actually seen this film since the late 1980s/early 1990s when it hit cable but from what I recall it's VERY dated feeling and really had that heavy-handed mid-'80s fear of Soviet attack thing going on. And, you know, Colorado high school kids are totally laying professional soldiers to waste. USA! USA!

The Expendables Trailer Is Here, And It's Gonna Blow. You. Away.

"Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied."
"You're a disease. And I'm the cure."
"HO HO HO NOW I HAVE A MACHINE GUN"
"I ain't got time to bleed."
"Murdock. I'm comin' to get you."
"I'll be back."

Ah, the '80s action movie. Simple formula: one lone current or former cop/CIA agent/Special Forces soldier with an attitude and a shitload of guns that never seem to need reloading versus an army of criminals/terrorists/mobsters/alien hunters/Communists. Any guy who grew up in the '80s will tell you that movies like Commando, First Blood, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Die Hard, and Predator were our Chick Flicks. We'd watch John Rambo's stirring last speech - "I WANT... what they WANT... for our country to love US... as much as WE... love IT... THAT'S what I WANT!" - and weep the tears of a PMSing housewife watching Beaches.

And now, man-children of the '80s, at last we have our Steel Magnolias.

Lionel Richie, "Dancing On The Ceiling"

Hi.

Now that we've gotten our theme song and the also-rans out of the way, we're free to play whatever we like in this space. It's a clean slate -- pick a year, pick a genre, pick a group, and play a song.

So we might as well start things off with The Greatest Song In The History Of The Universe.