Mixtape: Hair Band Ballads

We played nothing but hair band ballads on this week's Culture Brats Radio. In case you missed it or just want to reminisce, here's the playlist:

SIDE A

1. Guns N' Roses, "Patience"
2. Extreme, "More Than Words"
3. Motley Crue, "Home Sweet Home"
4. L.A. Guns, "The Ballad Of Jayne"
5. Poison, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"
6. Whitesnake, "Is This Love"
7. Slaughter, "Fly To The Angels"
8. Bad English, "When I See You Smile"
9. Mr. Big, "To Be With You"
   

SIDE B

1. Skid Row, "I Remember You"
2. Kix, "Don't Close Your Eyes"
3. Bon Jovi, "I'll Be There For You"
4. Cinderella, "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)"
5. Tesla, "Love Song"
6. Warrant, "Sometimes She Cries"
7. White Lion, "When The Children Cry"
8. Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne, "Close Your Eyes Forever"
9. Kiss, "God Gave Rock 'N' Roll To You II"

Thanks to everyone who came out and requested songs. If you'd like to catch future shows, follow us on Twitter.

The Anna Faris Rule

I like Anna Faris. She's cute and seems funny and talented. She's been in a lot of movies:

1. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
2. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
3. Observe and Report
4. Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel
5. The House Bunny
6. Mama's Boy
7. Smiley Face
8. My Super Ex-Girlfriend
9. Scary Movie 4
10. Just Friends
11. Brokeback Mountain
12. Waiting
13. Scary Movie 3
14. Lost in Translation
15. The Hot Chick
16. May
17. Scary Movie 2
18. Scary Movie
    

However, I'm convinced the poor girl can't read because she stars in some of the worst movies ever produced. And to prove my point, I paid a visit to Rotten Tomatoes.

Of the eighteen films listed above, only five were determined "Fresh" by Rotten Tomatoes (60% or more of the film's reviews were favorable). It should be noted, that Smiley Face and May were just barely over the mark, with ratings of 62% and 68%, respectively. Basically, only three of her films received great reviews: Lost In Translation, Brokeback Mountain, and Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs.

So this means that nearly three-fourths of her movies were deemed "Rotten" (59% or less of the film's reviews were favorable). Ten of her films received ratings of 40% or below and four of them received ratings of 21% or below. Hell, Mama's Boy received a rating of 8%. Eight percent! That's Ed Wood territory!

But despite the fact that almost three-fourths of her movies stink, they make money. Anna Faris is like freaking Midas. Only fourteen of the eighteen films listed above were given a wide domestic release. But four of those fourteen grossed over $100 million domestically. Those fourteen films have grossed a total $1.08 billion dollars domestically.

What's my point? My point is Anna Faris makes a lot of dumb movies that make a lot of money.

So without further ado, here's the trailer for her upcoming film, Yogi Bear:



Draw your own conclusions.

[source 1|source 2|photo]

Easy A

It's been forever since we've had a great, intelligent teenage comedy. American Pie was the last one, right? Maybe it was Napoleon Dynamite? How about Mean Girls? Juno?

Regardless, it's been a while since Hollywood produced a decent teenage comedy.

I'm really hoping Easy A changes all that.

Four Tumblrs You Should Be Reading Right Now

I used to have a personal, diary-type blog -- a big girl blog with my own domain name and comments to moderate and more headaches than I want to remember. Since most of my blogging hours were already taken up by my music site, and another blogging job that actually paid me money (not enough to live on, but enough to justify my blogging habit), my old blog suffered. I had to put it out of its misery. I still liked the idea of having a "home base" or sorts, so I started spending more time at Tumblr, where I threw up an ad-hoc link blog (more for myself than anything, given my track record of bookmarking things only to forget where exactly I bookmarked them -- sort of like the online version of losing your keys).

These days, I spend most of my casual blogging time there, and I've found quite a few fun sites that I probably wouldn't have if I had to weed through the blogosphere's massive bloat. I will share them with you:

"Zits are beauty marks."
Zits are beauty marks (also known as fuckyeahsassymagazine) is "a tribute to Sassy magazine and all of its contents, including but not limited to: cute bands, Lynda Barry, zits as beauty marks, insulting Tiffani Amber Thiessen, giving you free R.E.M. vinyl, love advice from Thurston Moore, feminism, 'zines, Evan Dando's disembodied head, quizzes, bitchin 90s fashion, unrequited love for Keanu Reeves, and the importance of being sassy." Full disclosure: most of my knowledge of Sassy magazine comes secondhand from other women my age who grew up reading, loving, and living Sassy, so I'm enjoying reliving the youth I sort of wish I had.

I Still Shoot Film
Whether you're a vintage camera enthusiast, or 100% digital and want to reminisce, I Still Shoot Film is a wealth of photographic knowledge, old-school style.

Write One Leaf
Write One Leaf is the place to go if you're a frustrated writer in need of a kick in the pants: "Write One Leaf is about writing every day. It's about getting started. Write one leaf; one word, two pages, three note cards, four napkins, five blog posts... But begin."

STFU, Parents
Tired of your friends' broadcasting the minutiae of their kid's every waking moment? You're not alone.

Mazzy Star, "Fade Into You"

Always loved this song.

From 1993, here's Mazzy Star with "Fade Into You."

Enjoy!

Big Earrings Have Taken A Strange Turn

Every time I turn on the TV lately I've seen someone wearing '80s-style, big ol' plastic earrings. You know, those geometric shapes in bright colors, say a dangling hoop followed by a triangle, maybe a lightning bolt if you wanna get daring? Except way more huge than anything anyone actually wore IN the '80s. Yes, I've been seeing those earrings a lot, usually worn by the character who has a big personality but also has "issues".

So of course, I wanted to track down some of those extra sized puppies.

And I haven't found them! Frustrating! I found plenty of big stars and hearts, but nothing truly supersized. NOT the dangly hoop-triangle combo! Obviously Hollywood stylists aren't shopping at Claire's (snooty bitches)

However, I did find some interesting '80s-inspired pieces.

Why not take hoops to the next level... by adding floating dots. (It's like wearing The Pill... in your ears.)



Remember how chains were in? So tough! Like maybe you were in a gang. I think they've added an inch for every year since the '80s.



No gang member with any sense would get caught in a fight wearing these. Duh. (Personally, I don't think dance clubs would be much safer.)



Neon, of course. In... um... brass knuckles? (This probably has some deep significance from a vampire book or something.)



Finally, the tried and true '80s charms-dangling-from-chains theme. These, appropriately titled "Hot Mess", feature cleavers and severed legs!



When did jewelry get so violent?

[photo 1 | photo 2 | photo 3 | photo 4 | photo 5]

Tron: Legacy

Daddy Geek Boy told us about the awesome Flynn's set up at Comic-Con. What he didn't tell us about is the new Tron: Legacy trailer that premiered at the festival. So here ya go:



Vanity Fair has a nice Q&A with the director, Joseph Kosinski. I was surprised to see that The Black Hole is getting the remake treatment. I recall seeing that film at a drive-in with my parents. I was pretty young when it came out - it might very well have been the first movie I saw out of the house - and the fact that I can remember the film should tell you the impact it had. I recall it being a pretty dark film, and parts of it really scared me. But I still thought the robots were kinda cool. Anyone else see that flick? But I digress.

To go along with the Tron: Legacy hype, Disney's also released a free iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad Tron game that's actually kinda slick. You can download it from iTunes here.

If you can't tell, I'm actually kind of excited about Tron: Legacy. I thought Tron was one of the coolest things ever when it came out. I really dig that they've gotten Jeff Bridges (who looks crazy young in a not creepy way) and Bruce Boxleitner in the sequel. Mostly, I just want a lightcycle.

Extreme, "More Than Words"

This is one of the many awesome songs we played last night on the hair band ballad edition of Culture Brats Radio.

From 1990, here's Extreme with "More Than Words."

Enjoy!

An Open Love Letter to the Stuck in the 80s Podcast

Most people who know me will tell you that my pop culture sensibilities are firmly rooted in the 1980s. That's not to say that you'll see me walking around the streets in a Frankie Say Relax t-shirt, parachute pants, and Adidas Gazelles. Uh-uh. Besides, I can't get my 43-year-old frame into those nylon pants anymore and you bet they make my ass look big. No, I listen to newer bands and keep up with all that is happening in pop culture just like all of you. But, like you and the writers here, I find I have an affinity for all things '80s: music, movies, culture. I won't say that I'm firmly Trapper-Keepered in that decade, but my love of synth pop and John Hughes movies knows no bounds.

Finding kindred spirits in this world is not hard. Stop any Gen Xer on the street and you'll undoubtedly find someone who responds to "Bueller...Bueller," has a favorite hair metal band and isn't ironic about it, or sees in him- or herself some qualities of Bender, Brian, Claire, Allison or Andrew. Two of my favorite compadres in this love affair with the '80s are Steve Spears and Sean Daly of Stuck in the 80s fame, a podcast that isn't shy about its Day-Glo fetish. From their Top 10 countdowns of Phil Collins songs or Horrible Hits of 1983 to their interviews with '80s icons Martha Quinn, Deborah Foreman, Debbie (Deborah for the rest of you) Gibson and more, Sean and Spearsy (or Spearsy and Sean depending on whose team you're on) deliver what is, since 2006, my favorite podcast. Stuck in the 80s is no two-bit, done-in-a-tin-can podcast either: production values are tight, music and film clips are top-notch, and the banter is witty and spot-on. Whether Sean is talking about his 18 kids and life with the Forever Fiance™ or Spearsy details his lonely nights with Wild Turkey and new cat Nick Rhodes, you'll be instantly drawn in and feel like you've known them for years.

Steve, the Times online editor, and Sean, Times pop music critic and Massachusetts native (have to throw that in there), often welcome former co-hosts, Times journalists and, when the mood is right, ardent fans into the studio. Kathy Wos, an '80s pop culture queen and an unabashed lover of The Smiths, can often be heard chanting "Puppies, puppies" when the conversation veers into the blue and she needs to find her happy place. Times sports writer, Tom Jones, and Times film critic, Steve Persall, third mike denizens on more than a few shows, lend their unique perspectives and cough credibility cough. Loyal listener, fan and, sometime caustic critic, Bassnote, was welcomed to the studio a while back to sing the praises of Peter Gabriel's So album, just one example of how friendly and tight-knit this '80s nation is.

It's hard for me to nail down my favorites over the past several years, but if you want a quick sampling and to better understand the in-show jokes, listen to their 200th episode recorded a few weeks ago. Better yet, listen to the Martha Quinn interview, the tribute to John Hughes or, more recently, the 25th anniversary of Live Aid. Or just do yourself a favor and subscribe via iTunes. You'll be a better person. And you won't be asking, "Where's the beef?" Trust me.

My Swatch Story

Inspired by Jennyonthespot's brave history with her Swatch watches, I decided to share my own.

One of the great things about growing up in a tiny North Carolina town was it didn't take much to set yourself apart from your classmates. You could make the twenty-mile drive into The City, walk around the mall for five minutes and discover fashion, movies, and music that never entered your city limits.

The year was 1984. I was the first kid at my school to own a Swatch watch. Does this mean I was cooler than my peers? I was, but not because I was the first to own a Swatch. But that did add to my mystique.

I don't know how I heard about Swatch watches. Maybe it was an ad in Rolling Stone? MTV? Whatever the origin, I knew I had to own one. So I picked up the phone book and started calling stores in the mall in The City.

Store: Hello?
Me: Hi! Do you sell Swatches?
Store: Yes, we sell watches.
Me: No, Swatches.
Store: Watches?
Me: Swatches. Swatch watches.
Store: Son, I have no idea what you're talking about.

I must've had that conversation five or six times until I found a store that had just ordered some and told me they'd have them in a week. The next week, I somehow persuaded my Mom to take me to the mall and drop $35 on this piece of Swiss plastic:


Wasn't she beautiful? I was in love with my Swatch. I strutted into school the next day. You know how a girl will walk around, trying to get people to notice her ring finger when she first gets engaged? That was me with that stupid watch.

Me: [clears throat]
Other Kid: ...
Me: [clears throat again, tries to draw attention to the Swatch but stops short of waving it wildly in front of Other Kid's face]
Other Kid: What?
Me: I just got a Swatch!
Other Kid: Ooh! A Swatch! [examines Swatch carefully]
Me: [beams with pride over Other Kid's acknowledgment of my awesomeness]
Other Kid: What's so great about it? What does it do?

What's so great about it? It's a Swatch. It tells time. It doesn't do anything except tell time and look cool. Stupid commoners.

Other kids soon had Swatches and by the end of the year, most everyone had one. Some even had two or three. Eventually everyone had Swatch Guards, those thin plastic strips that supposedly protected your Swatch from scratches. And one or two kids even had those plastic bangles to put over their Swatch bands.

And people gripe about Silly Bandz.

[photo]

Who Wants To See Tiffany And Debbie Gibson Wrestle In Tight-Fitting Clothes?

I can't be the only one, right?

Last month, we told you about the upcoming Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, the SyFy spectacular that's not only pitting a giant snake against a gatoroid, but also Debbie Gibson against Tiffany.

The fight between the singers begins in Tiffany's VIP tent and takes place on several tables, the ground, and in the swamp. Along the way, both ladies get pastries in their faces, remove each other's shoes, destroy a champagne tower, and call each other "bitch." It's just like The Three Stooges used to do!



Unfortunately, both emerge from the swamp at the end, so we still don't know who wins the battle between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.

(My money's still on Debbie.)

[source]

Scritti Politti, "Perfect Way"

Right before the piano solo, is the lead singer doing the Safety Dance?

From 1985, here's Scritti Politti with "Perfect Way."

Enjoy!

Top 18 Nicolas Cage Roles

After The Sorcerer's Apprentice made a somewhat disappointing $42 million in its first ten days of release, we thought it might be interesting to turn our attention to Nicolas Cage's past roles. Here are our 18 favorite Nicolas Cage roles:

18. Edward Malus, The Wicker Man
17. Smokey, Rumble Fish
16. Michael Williams, Red Rock West
15. Jack Singer, Honeymoon In Vegas
14. Sailor Ripley, Wild At Heart
13. Jack Campbell, The Family Man
12. David Spritz, The Weather Man
11. Damon Macready/Big Daddy, Kick-Ass
10. Castor Troy/Sean Archer, Face/Off
9. Charlie Kaufman/Donald Kaufman, Adaptation
8. Peter Loew, Vampire's Kiss
7. Ben Gates, National Treasure

Flynn Lives in San Diego

Amongst all of the weirdness of the San Diego Comic Con, it stood out like a big neon beacon--a bright sign, "Flynn's" on a nondescript building.

Normally there were huge crowds lined up outside, but for some reason that evening there was nobody there. My friends and I stepped inside, where we were transported to a distant, yet familiar time.

We found ourselves in an old school '80s arcade. A vintage Pac-Man machine stood alongside Off Road, Gauntlet, Joust, and Millipede (to name just a few). No quarters necessary. We could play as much as we wanted. We were given old school plastic coin pouches filled with Flynn’s Arcade tokens.

After gorging ourselves in 8-bit goodness, we noticed another neon sign reading "Home of Tron" over a door on the back wall. That passageway led to Flynn's secret lab, where that familiar laser that first sent Flynn to the world of Tron was aimed directly at us.

After being "digitized" by the laser, we found ourselves down a dark hall lit with spinning blue lights. Finally, we ended up in a big room, glowing in the signature hue of the world of Tron.

Suddenly, the lights went out and images from Tron: Legacy popped up on the video screens around the room. It ended with the ghostly image of the man himself, Flynn.

It was an awesome bit of viral marketing that has gotten me even more excited for Tron: Legacy.

The Breeders, "Cannonball"

Which is more overplayed on alt '90s radio flashback radio stations: this song or Blur's "Song 2?"

From 1993, here's The Breeders with "Cannonball."

Enjoy!

Jane Austen's Fight Club

There's a damn good chance you've already seen this, but it was too funny not to share.

"No corsets. No hatpins. And no crying!"



Between this and the Ferris Beuller's Day Off one, I think the world might be ready for a whole Fight Club parody cottage industry. I know I am!

[source]

New Music Releases: Billy Squier, Mr. Big, Art Of Noise

Here are this week's new releases by '80s and early '90s artists. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities.

Artist: Billy Squier
Title: Don't Say No (30th Anniversary Edition)
Release date: July 27, 2010
Rebirth or Reissue: New packaging of 1981 album
More information: Contains 2 unreleased tracks, both are live ("My Kinda Lover" and "The Stroke")


Artist: Mr. Big
Title: Lean Into It (Expanded & Remastered)
Release date: July 27, 2010
Rebirth or Reissue: New packaging of 1991 album
More information: Contains 4 unreleased tracks, one of which is a reggae version of "To Be With You"


Artist: Art of Noise
Title: Influence: Hits, Singles, Moments, Treasures...
Release date: July 27, 2010
Rebirth or Reissue: Greatest hits package
More information: Contains 39 tracks, but is only available as an import, so expect to pay more


Artist: Stevie Ray Vaughan And Double Trouble
Title: Couldn't Stand the Weather (Legacy Edition)
Release date: July 27, 2010
Rebirth or Reissue: New packaging of 1984 album
More information: Contains 16 unreleased tracks, most of which are live songs

Set Your DVRs: Week Of July 26, 2010

Flaming Lips, Green Day, and Stone Temple Pilots will all be performing this week. ROCK!

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, July 26th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Hanson
Late Show with David Letterman: Jimmy Webb
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Lyle Lovett

Tuesday, July 27th
Last Call with Carson Daly: Metric (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Angelique Kidjo featuring John Legend
Late Show with David Letterman: Dierks Bentley
Lopez Tonight: Backstreet Boys
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Jaron and the Long Road to Love

Wednesday, July 28th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Rhymefest
Last Call with Carson Daly: Wild Light (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Dierks Bentley
Late Show with David Letterman: The Flaming Lips
Lopez Tonight: Diddy-Dirty Money
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Robert Cray

Thursday, July 29th
Last Call with Carson Daly: 311 (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Of Montreal
Late Show with David Letterman: Interpol
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson:
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Stone Temple Pilots

Friday, July 30th
Last Call with Carson Daly: The Raveonettes (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Green Day

Saturday, July 31st
Austin City Limits: Brad Paisley / Dierks Bentley (R)
Saturday Night Live: Them Crooked Vultures (R)

(R) = repeat performance
shows in red = our picks for the week

Talk Talk, "It's My Life"

According to Wikipedia, this video is "a statement against the banality of lip-synching."

From 1984, here's Talk Talk with "It's My Life."

Enjoy!

LinkChurch: James, Brad Pitt, Vanilla Sky, Survivor

Here's our weekly wrap-up of pop culture commentary and news we didn't get a chance to cover during the week.

Culture Brats Highlights of the Week

• We rank our eighteen favorite Madonna videos.
  
• We remember the '80s dating rituals involving Swatch watches.

Music

• James is releasing a new album in September.

Movies

• Brad Pitt is starring in a movie based on the zombie novel World War Z.
• Vanilla Sky was recently voted the most confusing film ever.

Television

• Former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson will be a contestant on the next Survivor.

Mixtape: One-Hit Wonders

The theme was one-hit wonders on this week's Culture Brats Radio. In case you missed it or just want to reminisce, here's the playlist:

SIDE A

1. Faith No More, "Epic"
2. Nick Lowe, "Cruel To Be Kind"
3. Steve Forbert, "Romeo's Tune"
4. Sly Fox, "Let's Go All The Way"
5. The Proclaimers, "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)"
6. Radiohead, "Creep"
7. Frankie Goes To Hollywood, "Relax"
8. Scritti Politti, "Perfect Way"
9. Fiona Apple, "Criminal"
10. Georgia Satellites, "Keep Your Hands To Yourself"
11. Patrick Hernandez, "Born To Be Alive"
    

SIDE B

1. Diesel, "Sausalito Summernight"
2. Frida, "I Know There's Something Going On"
3. 4 Non Blondes, "What's Up?"
4. Midnight Oil, "Beds Are Burning"
5. Michael Penn, "No Myth"
6. When In Rome, "The Promise"
7. Siouxsie And The Banshees, "Kiss Them For Me"
8. David Naughton, "Makin' It"
9. Buckner & Garcia, "Pac-Man Fever"
10. Timbuk 3, "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades"
    

Thanks to everyone who came out and requested songs. If you'd like to catch future shows, follow us on Twitter.

Get Your Free Samples!

When I lived in the mid-west I had a membership to Sam's Club. One Sunday I swung by to pick up some candy and drinks to re-stock a local theatre company's concessions stand and found out that Sundays are free samples day. Almost every aisle had a lady with a table of free food or drink. And I didn't know until then that some area families made it a tradition to go to Sunday mass, and then hit up the Sam's for the free lunch buffet. It was kind of hilarious to see families in their Sunday best wandering up and down the massive aisles scoping out the offerings on toothpicks.

But who doesn't love free stuff, right? So what's my point? Free stuff. I was surfing the net and ran into two free musical samplers for two summer music festivals that I'm bummed I missed.


Sarah McLachlan's Lilith Fair has a 15 artist sampler available via iTunes. Here's the track listing and download information.



Outside Lands is a pretty new, and pretty nifty San Francisco festival held in Golden Gate Park. They've got a 10 artist sampler available via iTunes. Here's the track listing and download information.

With as much as I spend on iTunes, it's always nice to get something free.

I Shouldn't Give Two Sheets Either, But I Do

It's for the kids.

I know.

It'll help out eleven art classrooms across the nation.

I realize that.

Then what's your problem?

It just makes me feel... unclean.

Unclean? How can paper towels make you feel unclean?

Check it:



WHY, RUN? WHY?

The Time, "Jungle Love"

It's Friday. It's been a long week. LET'S DANCE!

From 1984, here's "Jungle Love" from The Time.

Enjoy!

Reality TV: A New Lease On Life For Aging Rock Stars

Growing Up Twisted, a new reality television show, premieres Tuesday, July 27th at 10 PM on A&E. Who does it star? Twisted Sister's outspoken lead singer, Dee Snider.

That's right! Dee's traveling down the same hard rock road paved by Bret Michaels, Sebastian Bach, fellow A&E mate Gene Simmons, and the man who started it all, Ozzy Osbourne. This show will focus on Snider's family: Suzette, Dee's wife of twenty-eight years (bravo, guys!); 27-year-old son Jessie, a past host of several music shows; 21-year-old son Shane, a stand-up comedian; 20-year-old son Cody, a filmmaker; 13-year-old daughter Cheyenne, a singer/cheerleader/student; and an ageless and nameless dog with a pink mohawk.

Here's a short commercial for the show:



So will you watch it? I loved Twisted Sister as a kid, so I'll definitely check out an episode or two.

[source 1|source 2]

May the Force Be With Your Subway

Some months ago I mentioned a video of some improv actors staging a scene from Ghostbusters in the New York City library that the film was made in. Well the folks from Improv Everywhere are back at it, this time they staged a scene from Star Wars on the NYC Subway.



They have some great stories and behind the scenes photos on their website. I love this part:

Vader got all kinds of funny looks from people as they passed by or gawked at him from across the tracks. At one point, a young guy came up to him and said, "Sith Lord, would it be OK if I took your photo?"

So polite! Any ideas for a scene they could do next?

Nick Lowe, "Cruel To Be Kind"

Played this one on last night's one-hit wonder show.

From 1979, here's Nick Lowe with "Cruel To Be Kind."

Enjoy!

The Swatch Watch

It's 1988.

Him: Heeeeeyyyyy *cocky grin*

Me: Hiiiiii *bats lashes*

Him: You wanna go around? *cracks neck*

Me: Like, OK. *tosses spiral permed locks* Where's your Swatch?

This may be a regional thing. But where I grew up… when a guy and girl started "going around" the guy would wear the girls' ring on his pinky finger and the girl would wear his Swatch watch.

This was Jason's:

And yes, I still have it, but have since thrown away the dried roses. At least something good came out of that "going-around-tionship".

Oh, Swatch.

We just couldn't get enough of the Swatch. Clearly. And to be clear: the arm with a "stack" of swatches had nothing to do with how many people one was going around with... nor was it a sign of a very punctual person. It was fashion.

Like, totally.

The Ramen Fork: Bringing Noodles And Broth Together Again

There were four food items that I lived on in college: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese/Kraft Dinner, pasta and canned sauce, Ramen Noodles and grilled cheese sandwiches. Ramen Noodles were the quickest and easiest to make, but the most annoying to eat - having to alternate between a spoon for the broth and a fork for the noodles was tedious, given the fact that I usually found myself making a pack during times when my dexterity wasn't exactly up to par, if you know what I mean.

Many times, as I slopped it down my chin and shirt, I wished there was a utensil - like a spork, but better - that would make eating Ramen more enjoyable.

I recently discovered this, the Ramen Fork: the spork's older, hotter cooler sister. The longer tines mean you get more noodle per bite, along with a nice little bit of broth, too.



Sweetness.

[source]

Give A Little Bit

We at Culture Brats believe in honoring the rock 'n' roll gods.

We at Culture Brats believe in paying tribute to the mortals who have lifted these gods upon their tired backs.

We at Culture Brats believe in giving back to the community.

It is with this in mind that we would like to share the following PSA from a very important charity:



[source]

Nik Kershaw, "Wouldn't It Be Good"

I need a coat like Nik's!

From 1983, here's Nik Kershaw's "Wouldn't It Be Good."

Enjoy!

Top 18 Madonna Videos

This week, we decided to rank our eighteen favorite Madonna videos. Did your favorite make our list?

18. "Lucky Star"
17. "Justify My Love"
16. "Burning Up"
15. "Cherish"
14. "Ray Of Light"
13. "Express Yourself"
12. "Crazy For You"
11. "Bad Girl"
10. "True Blue"
9. "Open Your Heart"
8. "Get Into The Groove"
7. "Music"

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into The Water...

OMGHFSTFR!

In a match so perfect I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner, movie schlock-meister Roger Corman teams up with Sci-Fi oops Syfy to bring us...

Sharktopus!

Yes that's right--half shark, half octopus. They took the cool of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and mixed it with their own upcoming Mega Python vs. Gatoroid and created something amazingly fantastic.

Below is the trailer complete with awesome '60s style theme song and all of the B-movie cheese one can handle (plus Eric Roberts!). It's a good thing that this movie knows exactly what it is and never for a moment pretends to be anything else. I can't wait.

The Limousines, "Internet Killed The Video Star"

ZOMBIES!

From 2010, here's "Internet Killed The Video Star" by The Limousines.

Enjoy!

Kittens Are Cuter, Spongemonkeys Are Cooler, But Neither Makes Me Want A Sub

Remember the spongemonkeys, those strange little gerbil/chinchilla/hamster/Mr. Potato Head hybrid creatures used to hawk Quiznos back in '04?



Like the Taco Bell Chihuahua and Spuds MacKenzie, the spongemonkeys were rounded up and put to sleep once the public moved onto something shinier. But Quiznos is trying to recapture lightning in a bottle.

With kittens!



It's like a cuter, but lamer dose of deja vu, no?

[source]

We Are All Queens

I fell in love with RuPaul's Drag Race last spring. For the uninitiated, the best way I can describe it is to imagine if you tossed the cult film Paris Is Burning , a heaping spoonful of America's Next Top Model, and maybe a sprinkle of Bad Girls Club into a blender. Oh, and and add a dozen or so drag queens.

Tonight, Logo debuts its summer spin-off: RuPaul's Drag U. There's one little twist. Instead of competing against each other, the queens from both seasons one and two will help "biological" women find their inner drag queens. This should be fun.



Read interviews with some of the "faculty members" here.

Set Your DVRs: Week Of July 19, 2010

Pretty decent week, kids. Keane, Robyn, MGMT, Sheryl Crow (twice), Crowded House, and KISS!

Yes, KISS!

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, July 19th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: N.E.R.D.
Last Call with Carson Daly: Janelle Monae (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Widespread Panic
Late Show with David Letterman: Robyn
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: KISS

Tuesday, July 20th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Runner Runner
Last Call with Carson Daly: Arctic Monkeys (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Crowded House
Late Show with David Letterman: Sheryl Crow
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: The Black Keys

Wednesday, July 21st
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Raheem DeVaughn
Last Call with Carson Daly: Weezer (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Halestorm
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Metric

Thursday, July 22nd
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Keane
Last Call with Carson Daly: Lisa Hannigan (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Sheryl Crow
Late Show with David Letterman: Steve Winwood
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: 3OH!3

Friday, July 23rd
Friday Night Alright: Phoenix
Last Call with Carson Daly: Lily Allen (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Rick Ross
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: MGMT
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Gaslight Anthem

Saturday, July 24th
Austin City Limits: Allen Toussaint (R)
Saturday Night Live: Michael Buble (R)

(R) = repeat performance
shows in red = our picks for the week

Alpha Team, "Speed Racer"

From 1992, here's Alpha Team with "Speed Racer."

Enjoy!

LinkChurch: Vampire Weekend, Weezer, The Social Network

Here's our weekly wrap-up of pop culture commentary and news we didn't get a chance to cover during the week.

Culture Brats Highlights of the Week

• We rank the top 12 John Hughes films.
• We debate which was the better Beastie Boys album: Paul's Boutique or Licensed To Ill.
• We discover paint-splattered clothing is back in vogue (or at least for sale).
• We wonder what is up with today's vampires.
  

Pop Culture Commentary

• Den Of Geek lists 10 reasons why 1982 was a great year for geek movies.

Music

• Ace of Base are back.
  
• Vampire Weekend is being sued for two million dollars by the girl on the cover of Contra.
  
• Weezer is releasing their next album in September.
  
• John Lydon likes Lady GaGa.
  

Movies

• The new trailer for The Social Network is much better than the teaser trailer released earlier.

What Is Up With The Vampires These Days?

My wife and I enjoy vampire movies and television shows. Pretty much every decade has its share of awesome vampire fare. We love the original Dracula from 1931 (if you have the chance, check out the Spanish version--it's actually better than the Bela Legosi English version). We like the 1979 Frank Langella Dracula as well. The '80s were full of great blood-sucking, with classics like both of the Fright Night films and The Lost Boys standing out as the best. As far as the '90s go, we loved the ultra-gory Vampire$ in 1998 and television's all-too-short-lived Kindred: The Embraced. We really got into last year's Moonlight (again, short-lived) and we've started watching True Blood--which is a pretty cool vampire story under its soft-core porn exterior.

In our effort to keep up with the latest on the vampire front, we recently started watching the Twilight films. Which is what brings me back to my initial question: what is up with the vampires these days?

Edward Cullen and his bunch are just way too whiny to be proper vampires. Granted, there have been whiny vampires before: Louis from Interview with the Vampire would have fit right in with the Cullens, as would 1992's incarnation of Dracula who did nothing but bemoan his fate. But the entire Twilight mythology is built on a foundation of whine. The vampires are so unhappy with being vampires that it even makes the werewolves and humans sad and gloomy!

As I suffered through New Moon (which has an angst to "cool vampire action" ratio of about 99 to 1), I couldn't help but think about how the vampires of previous decades would handle the Twilight clan.

Jerry Dandridge from Fright Night, who enjoyed the idea of toying with humans who found out his secret, would take out the whole town of Forks, Washington, werewolves included, and have a good laugh with his buddy Billy afterward. If Jerry's sister, Regine (Fright Night 2) was pissed at Bella Swan, Bella would never have lasted through multiple movies of being hunted--she would have been gone in the first five minutes of New Moon. And it's for damn sure that David, Paul, Dwayne, and Marko (The Lost Boys) wouldn't let any of those pale, whiny Cullens hang from the railroad bridge with them.

Granted, the whole sparkly instead of bursting-into-flames-in-sunlight would give the Cullens an edge in the daytime. But at night? Forget about it.

I have to say, I am losing my patience with modern movie vampires. I haven't seen Eclipse yet (I'll wait for the video release, thanks), but I can only imagine it's more of the same. Vampires are really powerful, virtually immortal beings. Given their position in the food chain, you'd think they'd embrace their lot in life (death?). Lions don't go around moping because they're forced to kill gazelles, do they? It's pretty much the same thing. At least to me.

As I've said before, I am no fan of remaking films that were good in their original incarnations--but maybe it is high time for a Fright Night remake. Just to show the kids today what real vampires are like. (Actually, with the addition of Dr. Who's David Tennant and Superbad's Christopher Minzt-Plasse to the cast, there's even more of a reason to give this particular remake a thumbs-up.)

Better still, maybe somebody should make Twilight: Showdown: The Cullens versus the vamps of the '80s. That would clear out the pale, wussy, angst-ridden crowd and bring some proper night stalking back to the big screen.

Mixtape: Hair Bands

The theme was hair bands on this week's Culture Brats Radio. In case you missed it or just want to reminisce, here's the playlist:

SIDE A

1. L.A. Guns, "Sex Action"
2. Y&T, "Summertime Girls"
3. Whitesnake, "Here I Go Again"
4. Junkyard, "Hollywood"
5. Manitoba's Wild Kingdom, "The Party Starts Now"
6. Warrant, "Cherry Pie"
7. Extreme, "Kid Ego"
8. Motley Crue, "Girls, Girls, Girls"
9. Stryper, "Calling On You"
10. Dangerous Toys, "Teas'n, Pleas'n"
11. Celebrity Skin, "Hello"

SIDE B

1. Poison, "Talk Dirty To Me"
2. Queensryche, "Jet City Woman"
3. Faster Pussycat, "Don't Change That Song"
4. Tesla, "Heaven's Trail (No Way Out)"
5. Bon Jovi, "She Don't Know Me"
6. Dokken, "It's Not Love"
7. Cinderella, "Gypsy Road"
8. Ratt, "Way Cool Jr."
9. Great White, "Once Bitten, Twice Shy"
10. Skid Row, "Youth Gone Wild"
11. Guns N' Roses, "Yesterdays"

Thanks to everyone who came out and requested songs. If you'd like to catch future shows, follow us on Twitter.

Forget Ferris, Save Cameron

I've made it pretty clear that I'm not much of a fan of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I think Ferris is pretty much a prick.

Not anymore.

The extremely talented geniuses at Classy Hands have created a new version of Ferris. And not only is it vastly different from the original, it looks awesome!

In the updated Ferris, Cameron is the star. In fact, Ferris doesn't even exist! Ferris is simply a figment of Cameron's imagination and represents Cameron's deepest and darkest desires.

Sound familiar? Here's Ferris Club.




[source]

Splattered

When I was 13, I had the coolest pair of paint-splattered Keds. Except they weren't actually Keds but the cheaper Payless Shoes version. (Which wasn't quite as cool as actual Keds but they were close.) Nonetheless, for $5.99 those white tennies with multi-colored paint splatters weren't just darn cute, they were chic because they were a design pattern that had never been done before! (You know, if you don't count Jackson Pollock.) On top of that, those paint splatters kind of hinted at a little bit of subversiveness... like they could have been at the scene of a building getting tagged. Maybe. You can't tell that they weren't. I was styling in my bad child, knock-off splatter paint tennies.

But that was when I was 13. I didn't have much experience in the world and I thought using baby oil as sunscreen was a good idea. Since then I've come to associate paint splatter as one of those beginning Photoshop tutorials.

Which means there must be a lot of beginning Photoshop students designing clothes these days.



Hey fashion students! It's supposed to be about reinventing. Re-inventing! That means taking an old style and making it modern. Not just watching Flashdance, throwing something together and thinking no one will notice.



OK, this one is kind of cool. It's got rips! And paint splatters! And geometric shapes! I want to pair it with a fedora and some pegged pants. Think I can wear it to a parent-teacher conference?



There is even an entire section of Zazzle just for paint splattered Keds!



(Repeat after self: I am not 13. I am not 13. I am not 13.)

[photo 1|photo 2|photo 3|photo 4]

Altered Images, "Happy Birthday"

This probably wouldn't be today's Song of the Day had I not watched Sixteen Candles last night.

From 1981, here's Altered Images with "Happy Birthday."

Enjoy!

Better Beastie Boys: Paul's Boutique vs. Licensed To Ill

On today's Criss Cross Counter Punch, Mamatulip and Chag debate which was the better Beastie Boys album: Paul's Boutique or Licensed To Ill.

Mamatulip: Whenever I hear the Beastie Boys' "Shake Your Rump," I think of my Mom and the time she came in to my room while I was blasting that song, put her hands on her hips and said, "What on EARTH are you listening to?" To which I replied, "Aw, Mom, you're just jealous! It's the Beas-tie Boys!" and collapsed into a fit of laughter on my bed.

I hear "Shake Your Rump" a lot. Paul's Boutique is one of my Top Ten Favorite Albums of All Time, and it's hands-down my favorite Beasties album ever. Paul's Boutique, for me, is one of those 'soundtrack to your life' albums; it has seen me through some of the best and worst times in my life. Yet it's not just sentimental attachment that has me digging it so much, it's the fact that it is one of the best and most important albums of the '80s, not to mention the Beasties' best album to date.

Chag: Paul's Boutique was a soundtrack to your life, eh? You'll have to tell me about your Egg Man phase some other time.

I get it. Critics have hammered Paul's Boutique into your head and everyone else's, poisoning your minds and making you think it's the best Beastie Boys album. But that honor belongs to Licensed To Ill. It's catchier, rocks harder, and is just more fun. Tell me you didn't spend a drunken high school night (or 200) with your friends sometime in the '80s, belting out "Brass Monkey" or their teenage anthem, "Fight For Your Right?" Licensed To Ill was filled with songs like these, songs that rocked, songs that celebrated youth.

Mamatulip: Oh, I spent many a drunken high school night with my friends belting out tracks from Licensed To Ill. And I totally agree with you – it's catchy, it rocks and it is, without question, a very fun album. But its status as the Beasties' smash debut meant that their next effort had to be twice as good. It had to be proof that they weren't just one-hit wonders, that they were an outfit with substance, and Paul's Boutique was. It's a stronger, more creatively in-depth album than its predecessor, rife with fresh samples, more complex lyrics and a totally unique sound. It's a great follow-up to an amazing debut album; it left no doubt that these three kids from Brooklyn were going to be huge.

Chag: It's a well-known fact that no band releases a second album that's better than their first. That's why they call it the sophomore slump. While Paul's Boutique is a great album and definitely no slump in comparison to other bands' second efforts, it's nowhere near as good as Licensed To Ill. The rock 'n roll, rough-around-the-edges production of Rick Rubin was traded in for the slick Dust Brothers.

Plain and simple, Licensed To Ill rocks harder. The album kicks off with the opening drums from Led Zeppelin's "When The Levee Breaks" in "Rhymin' & Stealin'" and concludes with Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Down By The Corner" on "Time To Get Ill." Paul's Boutique, on the other hand, starts with the very slow build of "To All The Girls" and ends with the twelve-and-a-half minute, wannabe-Abbey-Road-but-not-even-close "B-Boy Bouillabaisse."

Mamatulip: One of the (many) things that makes Paul's Boutique such a brilliant recording is the copious amount of samples laced throughout. Yes, Licensed To Ill has a lot of great riffs, but Paul's Boutique makes up for that in samples. The list is so long I couldn't possibly begin to name them all, but just off the top of my head, there's a bit Elvis Costello's "Pump It Up," the theme from Jaws, Pink Floyd's "One of These Days," The Eagles' "Those Shoes," and a host of rocking Zeppelin and Beatles tracks.

It's not just the samples that are hot on Paul's Boutique - the lyrics, as I mentioned before, are dope. Catchy. Fly. Killer. Call them whatever you want, but the lyrics in these songs, and the way they're delivered, are some of the best the Boys have to offer (and they make great Facebook statuses, if you're the kind of person who likes to post lyrics as statuses like, "Mamatulip's got the girlies in the Coupe like the Colonel's got the chickens.")

Their lyrics also make great answering machine greetings, too - Lloyd Lindsay Young's "It's a trip, it's got a funky beat, and I can BUG OUT to it" on "Mike on the Mic" was my greeting for years and it was all sorts of awesome, especially when my grandmother called.

Chag: You want to know some other kick ass samples featured on Paul's Boutique? Licensed To Ill's "Fight For Your Right" and "The New Style!"

But not only was Licensed To Ill the greatest album the Beasties ever released, it was also one of the most important rap albums ever released. Along with RUN-D.M.C.'s Raising Hell, Licensed To Ill helped introduce rap music to white Middle America, which opened the door for later acts like Public Enemy, Boogie Down Productions, N.W.A., and De La Soul. Who knows where rap would be today if not for the rap/rock hybrid found on Raising Hell and Licensed To Ill.

But if you want rhymes, put this one in your boombox:

"It's never old school, all brand new
So everybody catch the bugaloo flu
Not like a fever, not like a cold
The beats are clear - the rhymes are bold."

I think these lyrics from "Slow And Low" sum up Licensed To Ill rather nicely.

Mamatulip: "Riddle me this brother can you handle it
Your style to my style you can't hold a candle to it
Equinox symmetry and the balance is right
Smokin' and drinkin' on a Tuesday night"

Chag: "I'm a gangster, I'm a prankster, I'm the king of the Ave.
I'm hated, confrontated for the juice that I have."

Mamatulip: "Now rock shocking the mic as many times times the times tables
Rock well to tell dispel all of the old fables
'Cause I've been dropping the new science and kicking the new knowledge
An M.C. to a degree that you can't get in college."

Chag: "Down with Ad-Rock and Mike D. and you ain't
And I got more juice than Picasso got paint
Got rhymes that are rough and rhymes that are slick
I'm not surprised you're on my dick."

Word. So which do you prefer: Paul's Boutique or Licensed To Ill? Have your say in the comments!

She's Got It, Yeah Baby She's Got It

In the immediate wake of morning drop off I was reminded yet again why I was always and forever listening to the radio when I was young.

Bananarama's scorching hot version of "Venus" came over the satellite airwaves this AM and I found myself doing the hand moves while trying to negotiate the traffic streaming across Connecticut Avenue.

I remember being completely jazzed in the tenth grade when someone casually mentioned that I reminded him of Keren (the dark haired one). I went home to practice my girl band moves in the mirror so I could continue this meteoric ascent into the Lookalike Hall Of Fame.

When people passed me in the hallway, they would be able to see beyond my wool knee socks and school skirt to the pop band doppelganger within.

It was only years later that I took a long hard look and realized there is no resemblance whatsoever but I'm glad I had my moment in the sun.

After some research and a trip to the band's website I realized that Keren and Sara are still making music but Siobhan Fahey (also of Shakespear's Sister fame) is no longer rounding out the trio. C'mon girls, I know you understand the power of three.

Beastie Boys, "Sabotage"

If you're a fan of this band, check back later today for a treat!

But for now, here's 1994's "Sabotage" by Beastie Boys.

Enjoy!

Another '80s Song Used To Sell Us Something

I've watched this commercial three times and all I can say is... Gary Numan runs on batteries?



Oh, and one more thing: I need a cube of light.

[source]

Cinderella, "Shelter Me"

This video boasts appearances from Little Richard, Pamela Anderson, Shelley Duvall, and Dweezil Zappa. What more could you want?

From 1990, here's Cinderella's "Shelter Me."

Enjoy!

Top 12 John Hughes Films

We thought it would be fun to rank our favorite flicks that the late John Hughes wrote or directed. What do you think tops our list? Here are our twelve favorites:

12. She's Having A Baby
11. The Great Outdoors
10. Home Alone
9. Uncle Buck
8. Weird Science
7. Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

The Icicle Works, "Birds Fly (Whisper To A Scream)"

From 1984, here's "Birds Fly (Whisper To A Scream)" by The Icicle Works.

Enjoy!

Broadway, Take Note: The Governator Will Sell Seats

I know they're doing a remake of Conan The Barbarian, but for my money, I'd rather see this - Conan The Barbarian: The Musical!

Crom, where are the two snakes facing each other?
Crom, if you're my god then show me the way.
Anyaaah, gnyaaaaahyaaaayaaaaa Yaaaaa ah aaaah ahhh

I swear this wizard will fall 'cause
This has begun
They murdered them all, I'm the last one
I issue the call, revenge for my mom,
I pray to you Crom!

Crush your enemies,
See them driven before you,
And hear the lamentation of the women.

Huge thanks to my husband for sending me this from Slice of SciFi. I almost coughed up a lung I was laughing so hard.

The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall And... Wait! This Is Real?

And I thought Vampires Suck looked lame!

So the wife and I rented Hot Tub Time Machine on Saturday night. In the Extras section, there are a few trailers: one for HTTM, one for Cyrus (which I really want to see), and one for The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall And Felt Superbad About It. I really thought that last one was a joke.

It's not.

This flick is a spoof of Judd Apatow films like The 40-Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Superbad. And frankly, judging solely from the trailer, it looks like it could be the worst parody ever made.

Judge for yourself:

Set Your DVRs: Week Of July 12, 2010

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, July 11th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Sublime with Rome (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Big Boi
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Dierks Bentley
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Tracy Bonham

Tuesday, July 12th
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Kelis
Late Show with David Letterman: M.I.A.

Wednesday, July 13th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Korn (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: M.I.A.
Late Show with David Letterman: Laurie Anderson
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Flo Rida

Thursday, July 14th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: The-Dream (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Million Dollar Quartet
Late Show with David Letterman: Jimmy Cliff
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Grace Potter

Friday, July 15th
Friday Night Alright: Usher
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Swell Season

(R) = repeat performance
shows in red = our picks for the week

The Afternoon Delights, "General Hospi-Tale"

According to Wikipedia, who would never ever lie to you, this song hit #33 on the Billboard Hot 100. I find it amazing that this song was even recorded, let alone hit the Top 40.

From 1981, here's "General Hospi-Tale" by The Afternoon Delights.

Enjoy!

LinkChurch: Prince, Brandon Flowers, Liz Phair

Here's our weekly wrap-up of pop culture commentary and news we didn't get a chance to cover during the week.

Culture Brats Highlights of the Week

• We name our favorite Schoolhouse Rock! shorts.
• We tweet LeBron James and The Decision.
  

Music

• Prince might think the Internet is over, but his new single kicks much ass.
• Charlize Theron could rescue me any day.
  

Television

• Are new episodes of Beavis And Butt-Head really on the way?
  

Surreal Moment Of The Week
This was easy! This week's honors go to MC Liz Phair.



What do you think? I like it.