The Bars Of Our Youth: The Rathskeller (Boston, MA)

I consider myself lucky, nay, blessed to have lived in the Boston area in the '80s. There were so many great venues to see bands, but one stands out as the granddaddy of them all. The dive di tutti dives. A live venue second only to CBGB on the East Coast as a must play.

The Rathskeller. Or, as it was more affectionately known, The Rat.

I've been taking a walk down Memory Lane as I spark 20+ year-old memories about the bands I saw and the places I had the opportunity to hear them. The Rat was Boston's punk home in Kenmore Square. For the uninitiated, if you've ever seen a Red Sox game on TV and saw the ginormous CITGO sign over the Green Monster - that's Kenmore Square. Anyway, upstairs was a bar and a restaurant, but the happenins took place in the basement, the cellar. Dingy. Dimly lit. It was perfect. Long before I was able to walk through its doors it hosted bands like The Cars, Talking Heads, The Ramones, Mission of Burma - a veritable who's who of the punk and new wave scene. If you were up and coming, you played The Rat.

By the time I was able to go to all ages shows (18 and under at the time) or pony up a fake ID or go all legal like, I had the chance to see The Smithereens, Sonic Youth, local ska favorites, Mighty Mighty Bosstones and Bim Skala Bim, and a horrible show by one of my faves early on in their stellar career, The Pixies. I heard local punk stars, Gang Green, cover 'Til Tuesday's "Voices Carry" (1985?) and I saw Dropkick Murphys there about a year before The Rat closed its doors for good. I know there were others - lots of local bands - but the memory is not what it once was.

The Rat is now a restaurant - Eastern Standard Kitchen and Drinks - which is so not punk rock. Of course there were/are other places to see great live music, to see up-and-coming acts or those high profile ones that love the small venues, but there aren't many left like The Rat. Gone is gritty, dingy, dark, and beer-soaked. I'm happy I was able to drink it all in. --Mr. Big Dubya

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The Walking Dead: "Wildfire"

This is the next to last episode before the first season ends.  Too short!  I read somewhere that Frank “Shawshank” Darabont doesn’t plan on ending this first run with a cliffhanger – but given the circumstances, how exactly is that possible?  When you’ve got humans trying to figure out how much of the world hasn’t been taken over by brain-eaters, there’s no way to say “See ya after our hiatus!” without leaving us hanging, right?

Oh.  I’ve forgotten to mention this in earlier recaps, but this is obviously laden with spoilers.

It’s the morning after the zombie attack that made me wig out at the end of last week’s episode.  Half the survivors are dead.  Our remaining folks are separating dead zombies dead from their own deceased.  And of course, they have to deal with the freshly dead, to make sure the new corpses don’t rise with Extreme Zombie Makeovers themselves.  “Dealing” with them means smashing their heads in with various blunt objects.  We get some full-on hardcore visuals of shovels bludgeoning skulls.  Much splatter, with extra bonus sound effects -- a symphony of cantaloupe crushing.  Or maybe some nice Honeydews.  Sweet.

We learn that Grimes has been starting each day trying to contact Morgan with his walkie talkie, the guy he met back in the first episode, when he was first stumbling around trying to make sense of the new world after his coma.  Remember Morgan and his son?  Who stayed behind in the same town where Morgan’s wife is now roaming around as a zombie?  Because they just couldn’t bear to leave her?  Morgan has the other half of the walkie talkie set.  Grimes told them he’d contact them if he found survivors.  So he tries to send word out into the radio void every morning, not knowing if he’s getting through or not. 

  They lost a lot of people during the previous night’s attack.  But the saddest loss is Andrea’s little sister Amy, who was gnawed on by a zombie with a preference for white meat.  Which means not only did she die, but because she was bitten, it’s only a matter of time before she herself rises as a zombie with a bad case of the munchies.  Big sis Andrea has been sitting beside Amy all night, and refuses to anyone else come near.  Uh, hi: if you don’t do something with little sis soon, babe, you’re gonna have to deal with her all over again: borrowing your clothes, stealing your hair dryer, clawing off your face and eating it, all that annoying little sister stuff.

Grandpa Dale is the only she lets get close.  He sits with her and they have a nice little exchange where he pays his respects, saying how much he cares for the sisters.  Andrea talks about what a bad sister she’s always been to Amy, and how she wishes she’d been better.  It’s all very touching – until Zombie Amy slowly awakens in Anrea’s arms, fingers twitching, eyes all milky.  Andrea talks to her, apologizes, cries, and all the while, Amy’s reaching up and slooooooowly wrapping her fingers in Andrea’s hair.  Her mouth is opening.  She’s growling, pulling Andrea closer.  She’s hungry.  I’m cringing. 

Andrea says she’s sorry one more time, and then, still crying, puts a gun to Amy’s temple and pulls the trigger.

Goooooood morning!

Meanwhile, as campers are dragging dead bodies around, Crazy Jim isn’t doing so well.  He was the guy digging all the graves yesterday, sort of delirious.  Turns out he was bitten by a Walker in the attack last night too.  Ohhhhhhh shit.  It’s not like he’s dead, folks.  You can’t just shoot him in the head.  Or can you?  Redneck Darryl says hell yea you can.  He suggest exactly that.  After a tussle, Grimes says, “We.  Don’t.  Shoot.  The.  Living.”

Of course he says that while pointing a gun at Darryl, but whatevs.  Once again, this show hinges on the kind of decisions that you’d only ever have to make after civilization is over.  New world, new rules?

Turns out the group is facing a crossroads regarding its leadership.  Their camping spot miles outside Atlanta isn’t safe anymore.  But where to go?  Grimes says they should head to a nearby CDC facility, since it might be a safe bunker with military protection, and a possible cure.  His weasel buddy Shane, who’s looking more weasel like all the time to me, says they should head in the opposite direction towards an army base.  They can’t agree, and to Grimes’ dismay, his wife isn’t sure where her own loyalty is – although he still doesn’t know that she was sleeping with Shane as recently as 48 hours ago.  Yowzah.  That revelation’s coming, though.  You can totally tell.

But for now, as Redneck Darryl puts it: “These people need to know who the hell’s in charge.”  If the group is going to keep its humanity, it’s going to need rules, and structure, and a leader they can trust.  I’m with you, Redneck Darryl.  I personally feel I’d be awesome after a zombie apocalypse.  Firm bedtimes, teeth-brushing every night.  Just ask my daughter.  I’m all about structure.

After Shane and Grimes conduct a private a penis measuring contest argument about leading the group, Shane decides to back his friend’s decision, convincing the group that heading to the CDC is the right thing to do.  Before they leave, Grimes pleads into his walkie talkie one last time, hoping Morgan and his son will hear and follow them.  He’s all, Don’t go to Atlanta!  It belongs to the dead now!  It’s actually a cool moment, because you wonder if Grimes is actually talking to Morgan, or to God, or himself, or something deep like that.  I love this show’s quiet moments.  Seriously, so well-written.

The caravan heads out at dawn.  One family, the McExpendables, decides not to join them, but to go to Birmingham instead.  Bad move.  Guess those actors were working for scale.

The group makes a dramatic departure from camp, but it doesn’t last too long because the camper overheats and they have to pull over.  Damn Winnebagos. 

This is the point where everyone realizes that Jim, laid up in the back of the camper, is not doing well.  He can feel the zombie in him taking over.  He wants them to leave him.  “My decision,” he says to Grimes, “not your failure.”  As if he knew that Grimes is having some personal issues right now.

So after a short group discussion, everyone decides to adhere to Jim’s wishes and… LEAVE HIM PROPPED UP AGAINST A TREE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  They all say their goodbyes, even though they’re not sure they’re doing the right thing.  It’s a poignant scene, and when they drive off, Jim is resting, looking up at the sky, waiting for his Inner Zombie to come out.  Idyllic.  Brutal.

This episode is clearly about decisions.  Particularly, the kind of decisions you’d only have to make after the end of the world.

After commercials, we get a whole new situation, so unexpected I have to check and make sure I didn’t change the channel by accident: we’re in some sort of scientific facility (the CDC bunker, we learn), with a dude who’s apparently a scientist.   Yep, we’re in a whole new place.  Some sort of lab facility, where a guy in a hazmat suit is working with a tiny flap of zombie flesh in a petri dish, trying to find a cure for Zombitis.  He looks haggard and exhausted.

Ah, shit! He screws something up in the lab, and alarms go off!   He runs out to jump in the Silkwood shower, watching in dismay as the automatic decontamination unit burns his lab. 

The guy is making some video recordings, to keep track of his efforts.  He, like Grimes with his walkie talkie, is talking to no one, hoping there’s some point to it all.  As he records himself, we pan back and see  that the facility he’s in is huge.  Massive.  And empty.

“I think tomorrow, I’m going to blow my brains out.  Haven’t decided.  But tonight, I’m getting drunk,” he says to his camera.

Back outside, our survivors seem to have arrived at the CDC headquarters, which is surrounded by rotting bodies.  Grimes is totally second-guessing his decision to drag everybody here, but the group walks up to the big metal doors and starts banging.  They think it’s abandoned.  Everyone’s mad.  And getting panicked, because it’s getting dark, and ohhhhhh crap, there are zombies approaching. 

Inside, Lab Guy is watching them on the security cameras, and hoping they’ll just go away.  Outside, Grimes sees the camera over the door and starts yelling “I know you’re in there!  I know you can hear me!”  And he’s almost crying and the others are freaking out and the zombies are getting closer and the flies from all the dead bodies are getting louder and agggggggh I’m freaking out because this scientist is just going to let them get killed by the Walkers HOLY CRAP.

And the metal door opens, bathing everyone in a blinding light.

End credits.

Whew.  Next episode: The season finale, where the survivors learn from the scientist that “there’s nothing left… anywhere.”

Back To The Nikes

While there's no need to continue to prove how iconic a movie Back To The Future is, Nike has modeled their newest shoe after the DeLorean, which we all know is the car best suited for time travel. Now all they need to do is make those self-tying shoes from BTTF Part II and I'll be a happy, happy geek this Christmas.



Even the box they come in is cool:

Dropkick Murphys, "Barroom Hero"

From 1998, here's Dropkick Murphys with "Barroom Hero."

Enjoy!

The Bars Of Our Youth: Cat's Cradle (Carrboro, NC)

When I turned eighteen, a whole new world opened up to me: I was no longer imprisoned by all-ages shows. I could see damn near any band I wanted at nearly any bar I chose. So I spent most weekends for the next ten to fifteen years at various bars in North Carolina. The bar I frequented most often was the Cat's Cradle, North Carolina's premiere spot for alternative bands.

CREDIT: Last.fm

Located in a strip mall (no, really!) in Carrboro*, NC, the Cradle only holds about six hundred people or so. The place is dark and smells of stale beer. There is no food. It is a bar in every sense of the word. It is also the halfway point between Atlanta and D.C., so every not-quite-huge alternative act stops by on their way through town. Who? Since September, Charlatans UK, Corinne Bailey Rae, Shooter Jennings, Billy Bragg, Jenny & Johnny, The Vaselines, Guided By Voices, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes, Blonde Redhead, and Ra Ra Riot have all graced the Cradle's stage.

While my friends and I caught a lot of local acts like Snatches Of Pink, Ben Folds Five, Superchunk, Sex Police, Southern Culture On The Skids, and Dillon Fence at the Cradle on a regular basis, it was the national acts that got us all excited. Over the years, we saw countless bands at the Cradle-- so many, in fact, that due to my failing memory and my inability to keep and cherish tokens of my life (like concert tickets), I cannot sit down and begin to list all the bands I have seen there. But here are four shows that I dearly remember:

My Top 4 Moments At The Cradle

4. Oasis (February 17, 1995)
Liam Gallagher stood onstage the whole evening, sneering, hands clenched behind his back, and, other than singing, attempted almost no interaction with the crowd. I fell in love with that snotty jerk.

3. The Cramps (February 14, 1992)
What better way to spend a lonely Valentine's Day than with Lux Interior and The Cramps? Highlight of the evening: Lux, who had been drinking bottles of wine all evening, uncorked one of the bottles with his teeth and spit it into the crowd. I still have the cork.

2. Nirvana (October 4, 1991)
College radio had been spinning "Smells Like Teen Spirit" nonstop for a solid month. Nevermind was released ten days before the concert. Never before (or since) had I seen a concert with so much hype surrounding it.

1. Johnny Quest w/ A Very Special Surprise Guest (July 26, 1991)
My friends and I were at the Cradle that night to see one of our favorite local funk bands, Johnny Quest, probably best known for the breakup song "The Heisman" and a frantic cover of Motorhead's "Ace Of Spades." About halfway through the set, Johnny Quest's lead singer said something along the lines of, "We have a very special guest for you tonight."

And out walked Susanna Hoffs.

Ms. Hoffs was performing in Raleigh earlier that evening, opening for Don Henley. I think her manager was the same dude that managed Johnny Quest or something like that. Anyway, like most young men who came of age in the '80s, I had the major hots for The Bangles and, specifically, Susanna Hoffs. So I was more than eager to see her perform. I pushed my way through the crowd and got about three rows from the stage.

She sang two songs. Both were covers. "Hazy Shade Of Winter" and "Feel Like Makin' Love."

And everyone thinks I'm crazy when I tell this story, but the entire time she was singing "Feel Like Makin' Love," she was singing to me. Staring at me. Undressing me with her eyes. All that.

No one ever believes this story.

But I didn't do anything about it. I was twenty-one and at that point in time had never been with a celebrity, so I scurried off to join my friends at the bar. Not that I have any regrets or anything.

*It still feels kind of weird writing Carrboro instead of Chapel Hill, but it's been 17 years since the club's moved, so I really should be over it by now.

TV Preview: Strange Days With Bob Saget

Scientists predict that by the year 2018, every American citizen over the age of thirty will have starred in at least one reality series. Ok, I made that up. But you believed it for a second, didn't you?

Bob Saget, star of Full House and the original host of America's Funniest Home Videos, is the latest celebrity to throw his hat into the reality ring with Strange Days With Bob Saget, which premieres Tuesday night on A&E. But you know what sets Strange Days With Bob Saget apart from the usual celebrity-driven reality fare?

It's actually pretty good.

Strange Days With Bob Saget follows Saget as he spends a week at a time with different subcultures. We previewed the episodes where he spent time with Bigfoot hunters and a biker club. During the former, he spends time with members from the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization in Olympic National Park in Washington. Being an amateur cryptozoologist myself, I really enjoyed the episode, even when Saget was making fun of the Bigfoot hunters.

But the episode depicting his week with a motorcycle gang was the standout. It was funny and touching, showing that the series has a chance to be more than just your average celebrity-out-of-water fare.

You can tell Saget's really in his element among the bikers. I mean, he doesn't even stick out in this photo, right?



Saget spent the week as a probate with the hopes of joining the Iron Order motorcycle club, a group that parties and rides hard. Saget traveled 1,500 miles in a motorcycle sidecar, hung out with people named Peckerwood, Pacman, Stiffy and the club's president, Izod, and got coffee and other beverages for the club's members. During the week, Saget was able to attend a wedding between two Iron Order members and a memorial service for a member who was killed by a drunk driver.

While Saget makes jokes and displays his classic deadpan wit throughout the episode, you don't feel that he disrespects the bikers. Possibly because he's afraid they'd kick his ass.

In the end, Saget seems genuinely moved by his week with the bikers. It's the mixture of Saget's humor and sincerity, along with the interesting subcultures covered (I can't wait to see the one about professional wrestling), that makes Strange Days With Bob Saget worth watching.

Strange Days With Bob Saget premieres Tuesday, November 30th at 10 PM on A&E.

New Music Releases: El DeBarge, Steve Wynn

Here are this week's new releases by '80s and early '90s artists. We've compiled this list to the best of our abilities.

Artist: El DeBarge
Title: Second Chance
Release date: November 30, 2010
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: His first solo album in sixteen years, contains three Christmas tunes


Artist: Steve Wynn And The Miracle 3
Title: Northern Aggression
Release date: November 30, 2010
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: The latest album from the former Dream Syndicate frontman


Also this week: Nothing. Everything good came out last week.

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Set Your DVRs: Week Of November 29, 2010

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, November 29th
Conan: Kid Cudi
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Nicki Minaj
Last Call With Carson Daly: Kate Nash (R)
Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson: Michael Franti
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Elvis Costello (R)
Late Show with David Letterman: Steve Martin And The Punch Brothers
Lopez Tonight: 3OH!3
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Keyshia Cole

Tuesday, November 30th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Miguel
Last Call With Carson Daly: Broken Bells (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Kid Cudi (R)
Lopez Tonight: Atomic Tom
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Rod Stewart

Wednesday, December 1st
Conan: Cake
Last Call With Carson Daly: Ra Ra Riot (R)
Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson: Nellie McKay
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Bruce Springsteen (R)
Late Show with David Letterman: Nicki Minaj
Lopez Tonight: Cee Lo Green
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Darius Rucker

Thursday, December 2nd
Conan: Deerhunter
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Darius Rucker
Last Call With Carson Daly: School Of Seven Bells (R)
Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson: Norah Jones
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Kings Of Leon (R)

Friday, December 3rd
Last Call With Carson Daly: Built To Spill (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: GWAR (R)

Saturday, December 4th
Austin City Limits: Jakob Dylan / Carrie Rodriguez (R)
Saturday Night Live: Diddy-Dirty Money

(R) = repeat performance
shows in red = our picks for the week

The Bangles, "In Your Room"

From 1988, here's The Bangles with "In Your Room."

Enjoy!

Free Music: Target's The Christmas Gig

Target has released a free 13-song album of holiday tunes today. You'll be hearing all thirteen of these songs in their holiday ads. Here's the tracklist:

1. Guster, "Tiny Christmas Tree"
2. Blackalicious, "Toy Jackpot"
3. Darker My Love, "Snow Is Falling"
4. Natalie Hemby, "Perfect Gift"
5. Crystal Antlers, "10,000 Watts"
6. Bishop Allen, "You'll Never Find My Christmas"
7. Jenny O., "Get Down For The Holidays"
8. Little Jackie, "Mrs. Claus Ain't Got Nothin' On Me"
9. Best Coast and Wavves, "Got Something For You"
10. Coconut Records, "It's Christmas"
11. Little Isidore, "Party Hard"
12. The Pinker Tones, "Super Mama (Supermom)"
13. Ceci Bastida, "Un Regálo Para Mí (A Present For Me)"

Click here to download the album.

Glory Daze Is Rather Average

My college experience was typical... it was a lot of work, I met some great friends, there were some good times, and I left semi-educated and with a pile of debt to pay off. I never particularly thought it was the time of my life. Frankly, life after college was pretty awesome! There was no homework and I had a lot more disposable income. I fondly remember Thursday night clubbing, then stumbling into work Friday morning. Stick that in your schedule, boss!

However, media is continuing the tradition that life in college was glorious indeed... if you belonged to a fraternity or sorority. That's where the true fun was, you know, the rest of us were shit out of luck. The latest twist on this fine tradition is Glory Daze, (Tuesdays on TBS,) a show set in the 80s that follows the crazy hijinks of four freshmen, Joel, Eli, Jason, and Brian, rushing a... wait for it... fraternity!

Being set in the 80s is about the only twist I've seen so far. The show basically takes a lot of stereotypes from previous college and high school flicks and throws them all in here. You've got an updated Long Duck Dong, the Reaganite preppy, the jock, the short loud guy (who is actually pretty funny), and the normal pre-med kid. You also have the unorthodox but suave frat mentor, the sage pothead, the responsible frat leader with the untouchable, hottie girlfriend, and the professor on the edge (whom I love, because it's Tim Meadows). The pilot premiered last week and actually had a few laughs while the freshmen predictably got wasted, one did some B&E and vandalism, the others tried to rescue him, and all got arrested. Just your typical first week at school. Even though there was both nut-tasering and branding in this episode, I figured they were just starting the show off strong.

But when I watched the second episode there was again an over-the top, contrived plot - this time the boys must find an impossible gift of beer, which they need fake id's for, which leads to their car getting stolen, which leads to hitchhiking and then riding around with their on-the-edge professor, yadda yadda yadda. And in this episode some of those characters that were stereotypes but OK had become downright annoying. Suave frat mentor is getting a little creepy stalkerish. And "the Oracle", a.k.a. sage pothead, would be more entertaining with more goof and less sage. The freshmen also don't need to be quite so fawning. You know, just because this show is set in the 80s, doesn't mean it needs to be written like it was still in the 80s.

In contrast, the show Greek has done a great job of developing nuanced characters and balancing drama and comedy, which has raised my expectations of college shows. I might give Glory Daze an episode or two more to see if it can pull it together, but I'm not going to waste more than that. There were some interesting guest stars in episode two and more predicted in coming shows, but I'm not sure if that's because it gets more entertaining and the guest stars are excited to be there, or if the producers are just trying to save a tiresome show.

Glory Daze does play some great music, though.

The Bars Of Our Youth: Roseland Ballroom (New York City, NY)

Roseland Ballroom, New York City
CREDIT: Wikipedia

I might have been a little more circumspect if I had known just what sort of situation I was permitting myself to become embroiled in by standing right in what my more worldly friends were calling "the mosh pit" during the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert at the Roseland Ballroom, but in my frighteningly naïve rush to be close to the front, I had made a grave mistake.

Looking back, I would most certainly have given it a lot more thought when the droves of large lurching inebriates started pushing their way through the crowd and right up next to me.

It was only a matter of time, of course, and sure enough I was caught up in a frightening mix of concert frenzy and out of control body slamming that gave my buddies and I quite a run for our money.

This was back when most of the Chili Peppers used to perform without much clothing and were considered "cutting age," so that gives you a pretty good idea of exactly how old I am.

Roseland Ballroom, at the time, was considered a run down old dance hall with great acoustics and a large enough space to accommodate a band with a considerable following who weren’t quite ready to start playing the more prestigious halls or stadiums in the area. I remember getting to the ladies room as one of the most difficult personal quests I have ever made in an emergency situation and the dark corridors leading to it as some of the most frightening I have seen. This could have been due in large part to any number of substances flowing through my bloodstream at the time.

Not too long ago I went through old envelopes of ticket stubs and found more from Roseland than I had ever remembered: Love & Rockets, Red Hot Chili Peppers TWICE, Dave Edmunds, etc. And believe it or not, I have a difficult time remembering most of these.

Like the Beacon, it’s still alive and kicking with shows like Them Crooked Vultures, Social Distortion, and Del Mar and in a way, there is a strange beauty in knowing it will be around for years to come.

Mojo Nixon And Skid Roper, "Burn Down The Malls"

The perfect tune for Black Friday!

From 1986, here's Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper with "Burn Down The Malls."

Enjoy!

Giving Thanks is All About Pie

I am thankful for the Internet.

Thanksgiving wouldn't be the same without pie, and people definitely like their pie. But they're not real original when it comes to proclaiming their love on, what else?, a t-shirt. It seems to go in one of two directions. Direction number 1... boring. Usually in the realm of, "I love pie." Snore. Direction number 2... well, it's direction number 2.



Ah, the mounding cream, the reference to S&M. It's all so holiday friendly. Of course, they had me at Devo.



Does it smell like cherry?

Did you notice the female theme so far? Yeah, me too. That's probably why this also showed up.



It's a "pumpkin pie filling" magnet. Right. (Side story! So I worked with this guy once who apparently loved the female girly bits. Just thought the hoo-ha was the most gorgeous thing in the world. He wanted to stare at the goods all day and was always trying to sneak artistic renderings of the cootchie cootchie coo into the house past his wife. I can guarantee this magnet would have been up on his fridge. Later he came out of the closet. Duh. Overcompensating much?)



Oh naughty beaver, there's this thing called subtlety. You should try it.

Here's one for the guys!



Um... Okay... maybe not something you should be advertising.

(Two guys walk out of the maternity ward...

OK, I'll stop now.)

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Craft Time With Culture Brats

You just ate the big meal and are ready to watch some football...

But the kids want attention and won't leave you alone...

What's a parent to do?

Break out the paper and crayons and get 'em drawing!



Just be careful not to play the video too many times or they'll be singing this song for the rest of the day.

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Thank You

Good morning, love.

We just wanted to take a moment on this fine Thanksgiving morning to thank you for finding your way to Culture Brats. We are thankful for every reader and commenter who's ever dropped by our site. It's been a fun ride so far and we hope you'll continue the journey with us.

Thank you.

Ok. Enough with the gushy mushy lovey dovey crap. How about a Thanksgiving Day Mix?

Vampire Weekend, "Holiday"

Yeah, this really isn't a Thanksgiving tune. But since it's currently being used to sell Hilfiger and Honda, I figure they wouldn't mind.

Big Star, "Thank You Friends"

I loved Alex Chilton.

Adam Sandler, "The Thanksgiving Song"

Yeah, it's silly. But it's one of the few songs out there that are actually about Thanksgiving.

Too Much Joy, "Thanksgiving In Reno"

Too Much Joy should've been H-U-G-E! They were an awesome band.

"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Eat It"

What? Like you won't be doing plenty of this!

Arlo Guthrie, "Alice's Restaurant Massacree"

The classic.

The Bars Of Our Youth: 9 Lansdowne (Boston, MA)

Living Colour
CREDIT: Seattle Weekly

In the late eighties during my college years, my roommate and I had the goal to hit a dance club every night of the week. I know, lofty aspirations. Forget about becoming a doctor or something meaningful. I needed to dance. My hair needed an outlet to express itself. Luckily for us, going to a school in Boston and living in the heart of the Back Bay left us with plenty of opportunity to hit up the night clubs throughout the city.

A favorite place was to check Lansdowne Street by Fenway. There was about a block or so that was littered with night club after night club. You could find any kind of music to suit your needs: house, punk, you name it. While I went more for house music for my clubbing needs, I did manage to experience other scenes.

Leaning more to the musical stylings of Madonna, I found myself a little in shock that I loved something as "heavy" as Living Colour. They were completely different to me: loud and hard, yet oddly danceable. I totally fell in love with them, well at least with "The Cult Of Personality." You can imagine how excited I was to find out that they were going to perform live at 9 Lansdowne, a club I frequented far too often. I must have used an entire bottle of Paul Mitchell Freeze and Shine to get my hair at an acceptable height and probably spent all my money on neon bicycle shorts or the properly torn acid wash jeans with which to bang my head at this show. Reserving just enough money to pay the cover and have about three Cape Codders, I may or may not have been a little under the drinking age, but no matter: my friend met the door man at summer camp. Yes, that's right. Summer camp. Of course, we were ushered in ahead of the line because obviously we had the right combination of high hair, spandex, and camp connections. Living Colour's performance met every expectation and more. The sound, their spandex, the entire vibe of the night was too cool. Just a big dance floor with a stage at one end and what seemed like a sea of people rockin' out in unison and little ole pasty white me trying to fit in the best I could.

I scoured the internet for information on that particular show and the only thing I could find was a Facebook listing of someone's top 5 or so live shows they saw in the '80s in Boston mentioning Living Colour at The Nine in 1989 which would be exactly when my hair was reaching stellar heights. --A Vapid Blonde

The Wii Didn't Start The Fire

"How we've done some growin' since our cartridge blowin'" Ha.



[source]

Mean Girls 2: One Less Thing To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving

Mean Girls 2? Seriously?

Mean Girls was an awesome little flick that didn't need a sequel. But Mean Girls 2 doesn't look like a sequel to me. It looks exactly like the first one. Except this time the slam book's probably been replaced with Facebook.



Oh, Harper! How could you?

The Knack, "Good Girls Don't"

From 1979, here's "Good Girls Don't" from The Knack.

Enjoy!

Top 20 Police Songs

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite Police songs:

Zenyattà Mondatta

20. "Bring On The Night"
19. "Hole In My Life"
18. "Invisible Sun"
17. "Canary In A Coalmine"
16. "Walking On The Moon"
15. "When The World Is Running Down"
14. "So Lonely"
13. "Every Breath You Take"
12. "Spirits in the Material World"
11. "Next To You"
10. "Wrapped Around Your Finger"
9. "King Of Pain"
8. "Murder By Numbers"
7. "Synchronicity II"
6. "Message In A Bottle"

The Bars Of Our Youth: Beacon Theater (New York City, NY)

This is another stop on The Bars Of Our Youth, a twelve-part look at some of the clubs and bars the Culture Brats frequented in their younger days. Today, Dufmanno takes a look back at her nights at the Beacon Theater in New York City, New York.

The Beacon Theater
CREDIT: Wikipedia

You know that feeling you get when you are young and so seemingly indestructible that you could just go to show after show after show with no ill effects? Those, of course, were the days of endless concert going and weekend drinking where you and your group of similarly minded miscreant buddies were up for any number of treks into the city to see what bars would accept your frightfully inadequately altered New York driver's licenses.

You hit more than you missed and after a few cold ones it was time for whatever music you were there to hear.

More often than not, back in those days, we just got lucky. And it was exactly that kind of good fortune that had us standing less than ten feet from the stage watching people like The Replacements (summer 1987) and the Alarm at one of the best places to catch a concert: the Beacon Theater.

It was small enough to be considered intimate and large enough to feel like a resounding success for the band.

It had a grandiose golden interior that was reminiscent of all Old World theaters and was in need of a few repairs back when I was a regular (it has since undergone a well deserved 15 million dollar restoration) but it had style and the sound was out of this world.

I still have the three playing cards that The Alarm's Mike Peters threw into the front rows during a gig in December 1987 where I got my first kiss from my high school boyfriend right in the corridor under the huge chandelier after the last song. This was unfortunately witnessed by the entire class, including another potential suitor I was keeping on the back burner in case choice number one didn’t pan out, who had also made it into the city that night to catch the show.

Ahhh, memories. --Dufmanno

The Walking Dead: "Vatos"

Let me bookend this recap up front: I started off this episode bored, and ended cringing in one corner of my couch, saying GAHHH!!

After last week's one-sided smackdown between Shane the Cheating Weasel and Wife-Beater Ed (which ended with Ed crumpled and bloody and Shane feeling guilty), things are tense in the camp outside Atlanta.

The sisters Andrea and Amy are getting away from the stress by fishing in the lake. And reminiscing about their dead father. It's a sort of sweet little bonding moment, which can only mean one thing, and you don't need to be a genius to figure it out. Something extremely bad is going to happen to one of them by the end of the ep.

Meanwhile, a previously ignored survivor named Jim is digging holes in a clearing nearby. A lot of holes. In the hot sun. He's not talking to the others, and getting scary.

Yep, things are getting rough in the woods.

Credits.

Up on the department store roof in Atlanta, Merle's brother Darryl isn't handling the sight of his brother's severed hand real well. It's becoming pretty obvious that Racist Merle hacked off his hand to escape the handcuffs that kept him trapped. And likely got away before the zombies from below swarmed the rooftop. Deputy Grimes, Glenn, and T-Dog promise Darryl they'll find his brother, but the tension is cranking tighter. There's definitely some sort of rumble on the horizon.

The group follows a trail of Merle's blood back down through the department store, pausing only to take down one uniquely gross zombie whose entire jaw is hanging by threads. Darryl hoists his crossbow and sends one arrow to the head – Zing! Zombie done. Awesome. (I swear, this show brings out the 7th grader in me.)

They can't find Merle (although they do see evidence showing that Merle used the stove in a restaurant kitchen to cauterize his stump gahhh! before moving on), so the group devises a plan to fulfill their other mission: grab the big bag o' guns that Grimes abandoned in the middle of the city when he was there the day before, trapped by Walkers. The "plan" mainly involves Glenn darting out, grabbing them, and then running like Hell. Ok – you know what? That's not a plan. My 9-year-old daughter could come up with that one, y'all. The others seem to think it's pretty brilliant, though; especially Redneck Darryl, who says to Glenn: "You got some balls for a Chinaman." "I'm Korean," Glenn snaps. Come on, Darryl. 21st century, Man.

Meanwhile, back at the camp: Dale, the camp's official Grandpa patriarch, confronts delirious Jim, who's still digging holes. I have no idea if this guy has done anything in previous episodes. I don't think so. It's sort of hard to say how big the camp actually is. Regardless, Jim is digging what appears to be a ring of graves, and Dale approaches him to say, "uhhhh... what up, buddy? You're scaring people." Jim says nothing, keeps digging. Finally, with everyone else looking on, Weasel Shane has to grab the shovel out of Jim's hands and wrestle him to the ground to try and get the crazy out of him. Very tense scene, but when Jim calms down, face in the dirt with Shane kneeling on his back, we learn that before the zombiepocalypse, he had a wife and daughter. And he sobs: "The only reason I got away was because the dead was too busy eating my family."

Argh. This show does a great job with the heart-cracking moments that come out of nowhere. Poor Jim.

Back in the city: the Gun Retrieval plan goes into action: Glenn runs out from an alley amidst a scattering of zombies who see him and start to growl. Glenn gets the guns while the others position themselves to distract the Walkers when they start getting too close – but in his own alley, Redneck Darryl discovers... a whole other dude, who's neither dead nor part of their group! Yes, there's a whole other group of survivors in the city, and they quickly surround Darryl and Glenn. They saw the bag of guns out in the street, and have been working on their own plan to get it. Screw that, new guys! Get your own guns! After a fast scuffle against a backdrop of approaching zombies, the new guys don't get the guns – but they do get Glenn, jamming him into their Pinto and peeling out.

Commercials. Apparently I can win a "stagger on" role on this show if I do something, or enter something. How cool would that be, seriously? I'd love to be a zombie. I need to start practicing my one-leg drag, and my moaning. Braaaiiinnnnss... I smell a guest-star Emmy.

Grimes and Friends managed to scam a hostage of their own from the other group, and make him lead them to the new group's hideout. They're thinking a trade will happen. And if it doesn't? They have all these great new guns.

There's a confrontation between the two groups. It's like a very grim, non-musical West Side Story. The leader of this new faction is a tough-looking dude named Guillermo who likes saying stuff like "I will feed you to my dogs!" The episode is taking great pains to portray this new group as a total Latino gang of Vatos (which is Mexican slang for "dudes," apparently. Thank you, Wikipedia.). But, of course, as Grimes and Friends enter the hideout with their own hostage in tow, we quickly learn that the hideout is actually a old folks' home, and the "gang" is really just a bunch of scared guys who are protecting the elderly residents who were abandoned by the facility's staff. And Badass Guillermo? The rest home's janitor. Well-played, show. Well-played.

The factions aren't so much divided now. Grimes decides to split the bag of guns with the new group. They're all facing the end of the world, and putting up whatever front they can to survive. "The world’s changed," T-Dog observes dolefully. "No," Guillermo says, "it's the same as it ever was. The weak get taken."

Grimes and Friends say goodbye to the Vatos and head back to their van, so they can hightail it back to camp. Except... Doh! The van is gone! Where is it? Who would take it? They all agree: it has to be Redneck Merle (now officially deemed Stumpy Merle), probably headed back to camp for some one-handed vengeance.

But that’s not all. Oh no, we're not quite done yet.

It's nightfall at the camp. The group is gathered around the campfire, having an old-fashioned fish fry, chatting away, enjoying some peace and good times. Grandpa Dale is telling the stories, spinning yarns, and it's all very nice and special. Yes, I know what you're thinking. And you're totally right. Something horrible is about to happen.

Alone in his tent, Wife-Beater Ed is still nursing his broken face (busted up by Shane in the previous episode), refusing to join the others at the campfire. He's laying there feeling all sorry for himself, when there's a scratching at the tent's zipper. Ed yanks open the flap to tell whoever it is to leave him alone, and---

Zombie!! Zombie zombie zombie!!

They're everywhere, swarming the camp. Ed gets eaten quickly (not a huge loss – he's the wife-beater, after all). But the rest of the campers scream and fight. And lose. And get chewed. It's horrible. Amy, who only hours earlier was fishing on the lake with her older sister, gets ripped open by a zombie who has a taste for blondes. I TOLD you that idyllic boat scene meant badness later.

Grimes, Glenn, T-Dog, and Darryl, who've been walking back to camp from the city, hear distant screams, and run to help. When they arrive, they discover chaos. Zombies everywhere, victims everywhere. They blow zombies away left and right, so much brainsplatter that even the camera lens is dripping red.

When the massacre is over, the survivor camp's population is down to half its original size. Grimes's wife and son are alive. So are Shane, Dale, T-Dog, Glenn, and Darryl, and a few others. But they're surrounded by the corpses of their friends, including Amy, cradled by her sobbing sister Andrea.

Standing off to one side, looking around at all the bodies, formerly delirious Jim can only say: "I remember my dream now... why I dug the holes."

End credits.

Scenes from next week: Camp dissent. Do they stay in the woods, knowing that the zombies can find them? Or move out? And where?

Thompson Twins, "Lay Your Hands On Me"

From 1985, here's the Thompson Twins with "Lay Your Hands On Me."

Enjoy!

The Bars Of Our Youth: Hammerjacks (Baltimore, MD)

This is The Bars Of Our Youth, a twelve-part look at some of the clubs and bars the Culture Brats frequented in their younger days. Today, Dave takes a look back at the now defunct Hammerjacks in Baltimore, MD.

SOURCE: Hammerjacks Online

I was never much of a nightclub guy. In my high school and early college days in the suburbs of Baltimore, Maryland, I did go to a couple of places fairly regularly: a dance club called Maxwells and a bar/restaurant called Pappy's. There were two primary reasons I frequented those places: (1) the people I worked with at the time (most of whom were older than me) went there almost every week and (2) neither place was too particular about checking ID at the door. I missed the "grandfather" clause that allowed people under 21 to drink by a couple of years.

When I was finally old enough to (legally) get into any club or bar, I gotta be honest--most of the time my friends and I hit the strip clubs. (In Baltimore County, that meant bikini bars, but we thought they were pretty awesome.) I'm not sure how it first came about, but at some point, I'm guessing it was around 1989 or 1990, my buddies and I finally made a trek to the nightclub that was the subject of Baltimore legend. A place called Hammerjacks.

Hammerjacks went through three incarnations in its lifetime. It started its life in 1977 as a small tavern in a converted row house on Charles Street. It died quietly 29 years later as a two-story dance club that wasn't even a ghost of the memory of the phenomenal venue that the name still evokes in those of us who grew up in Baltimore during the 80s and 90s.

It's the "middle" Hammerjacks that I experienced, and it was a truly amazing place. Situated under Interstate 395 on South Howard Street, the second Hammerjacks was THE place to go for concerts starting in 1982. Built in an old beer warehouse, it was big enough to hold 2,500 people, and it had probably half a dozen bars scattered across the ground floor and a balcony level that ringed the "concert side." (The other section was known as the "club side.") It was big enough to attract name acts, but small enough to make the concert experience seem more intimate than a civic center or a stadium. Not that anybody who ever frequented Hammerjacks at the time would ever use the word "intimate" to describe it. The place was so famous (or infamous) that people outside of Baltimore had heard of it. A friend of mine once saw a Hammerjacks bumper sticker on a tank at an army base in Germany!

Hammerjacks was a big draw for '80s glam and metal bands. At one time or another, Faster Pussycat, Child's Play, Kix, Ratt, Skid Row, Extreme, and Poison all graced the stage. It was apparently one of Bret Michaels's favorite Baltimore hangouts. Guns N' Roses made their Baltimore debut on Hammerjacks' stage, and solo acts from famous bands like Brian May from Queen and Slash from Guns N' Roses often showed up. And local favorites Crack The Sky played there regularly.

But, like I said, my friends and I were more interested in strip clubs at the time. That's how we ended up as regulars at Hammerjacks. Every Tuesday night, there was a contest sponsored by local radio station WGRX. It rotated between "naughty negligee," "bikini," and "wet t-shirt." It was also 50-cent draft night. The combination of cheap beer and semi-naked women was too much for college guys to resist. The contest always started at around midnight, but the place was packed hours earlier. To get a spot right by the stage, we'd always arrive at around 9 PM. We'd take turns getting rounds of beer so we wouldn't lose our prime space. It was this ritual that taught me how many beers one person can carry. (Ten, provided nobody minds if your fingers are in the cups.)

I did manage to take in one concert at Hammerjacks: The Ramones. That was a truly amazing show. If you never got to see The Ramones live, you really missed out. It was like having a syringe full of pure adrenaline injected into your brain. I swear they played all of their songs that night in a little over an hour. They accomplished this by playing them at about 1.5 times their normal (already fast) speed, with only a quick, "1234!" separating one song from the next. What a rush! And we were really close to the stage, almost right above it, looking down from the upper level.

It was weird that I spent so much time at Hammerjacks. It was definitely not my normal vibe. It was dimly-lit, the walls were black and exposed brick, the bathrooms were bio-hazards where the floor was covered in questionable liquids and broken beer bottles (and, not infrequently, vomit), and the clientele were the typical '80s punk, hard-rock, and biker types that I normally avoided. But you know what? I loved every minute of it.

The second incarnation of Hammerjacks closed its doors in 1997, when it was torn down to create a parking lot when the Baltimore Ravens' new stadium was built. On that day, Baltimore mourned. That place will always be alive in our memories, though... and on the Internet as well. When I was poking around the Web recently, I found out that you can still buy t-shirts and bumper stickers with the Hammerjacks logo on them. (There's also an awesome vintage video mini-documentary about Hammerjacks on the site. Check it out!)

If you aren't a Baltimore native, it might be tough to understand the allure of the place. But for us, Hammerjacks rocked! --Dave

New Music Releases: Nine Inch Nails

Here are this week's new releases by '80s and early '90s artists. We've compiled this list to the best of our abilities.

Artist: Nine Inch Nails
Title: Pretty Hate Machine [Remastered]
Release date: November 22, 2010
Rebirth or Reissue: Reissue
More information: Remaster of the band's classic 1989 debut, contains one extra track, a cover of Queen's "Get Down Make Love"


So that's it from the '80s and '90s crowd, but that's not to say there's nothing coming out this week. Check this out: Kanye West, My Chemical Romance, Nicki Minaj, and Robyn are all dropping new albums while Jay-Z's releasing his greatest hits.

[image]

Set Your DVRs: Week Of November 22, 2010

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, November 22nd
Conan: Christina Aguilera
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Train
Last Call With Carson Daly: Villagers
Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson : The Very Best
Late Show with David Letterman: Jessica Simpson
Lopez Tonight: Ne-Yo
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Keri Hilson

Tuesday, November 23rd
Conan: Marron 5
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Ke$hs
Last Call With Carson Daly: OFF!
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Regina Spektor

Wednesday, November 24th
Conan: Neon Trees
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Metric
Last Call With Carson Daly: City And Colour (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: N.E.R.D.
Late Show with David Letterman: Sahara Smith
Lopez Tonight: Ice Cube
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Robyn

Thursday, November 25th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Nelly (R)
Last Call With Carson Daly: Lissie (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: James Otto and Ronnie Milsap
Late Show with David Letterman: Taylor Swift

Friday, November 26th
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Atomic Tom (R)
Last Call With Carson Daly: She And Him (R)
Late Show with David Letterman: Bon Jovi

Saturday, November 27th
Austin City Limits: R.E.M. (R)
Saturday Night Live: Kanye West (R)

(R) = repeat performance
shows in red = our picks for the week

The Georgia Satellites, "Keep Your Hands To Yourself"

From 1986, here's The Georgia Satellites with "Keep Your Hands To Yourself."

Enjoy!

Mixtape: Hair Bands II

On this week's Culture Brats Radio, we played songs by hair/glam/hard rock bands. While we played Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, and David Lee Roth, for the most part, we featured bands that aren't household names. In case you missed it or just want to reminisce, here's the playlist:

SIDE A

1. Bon Jovi, "Lay Your Hands On Me"
2. Electric Boys, "All Lips N' Hips"
3. Lord Tracy, "Out With The Boys"
4. Jackyl, "The Lumberjack"
5. Frehley's Comet, "Rock Soldiers"
6. Krokus, "Ballroom Blitz"
7. Black N Blue, "Hold Onto 18"
8. Dangerous Toys, "Sport'n A Woody"
9. Shotgun Messiah, "Don't Care 'Bout Nothin'"
   

SIDE B

1. Autograph, "Turn Up The Radio"
2. Firehouse, "Don't Treat Me Bad"
3. Hanoi Rocks, "Tragedy"
4. House Of Lords, "I Wanna Be Loved"
5. Trixter, "Give It To Me Good"
6. Steel Panther, "Death To All But Metal"
7. TNT, "Intuition"
8. Tora Tora, "Walkin' Shoes"
9. David Lee Roth, "Yankee Rose"
10. Guns N' Roses, "Rocket Queen"
    

Thanks to everyone who came out and requested songs. If you'd like to catch future shows, follow us on Twitter.

By The Power Of Grayskull, I Have The Power... TO ROCK!

Joebot is an illustrator. Joebot works as an illustrator in the video game industry. Joebot also runs an Etsy shop.

Joebot created a Weezer concert poster.

Joebot gave some Nintendo princesses a makeover.

But this is just too cool for words:



[source]

Hellcats: "Pledging My Love"

This episode almost did it. I almost quit Hellcats. You have to expect that when the opening dance sequence is, well, a dance sequence that you think might just be pushing the envelope of acceptable television especially if you're not watching Glee. And if you are pushing my envelope, you've probably goon too far. Lets face it, my standards are pretty low. THANK GOD, it was only a nightmare for Marti. By the way, I'd be pissed if I was Aly Michalka and they took my character and made her irritating all the while making Heather Hemmen's Alice Verdura way more appealing. Doesn't verdura mean vegetable or something in Italian? The major focus of this episode is Alice's sweet peas, I mean cantaloupes, oh wait that's a fruit. Maybe I'll just call it her sexy vegetable dip. You see, as well as everyone else on the Lancer campus sees, Alice took pictures of her crudités and sent them to Jakey and somehow someone got ahold of all of the raw naked veggies and sent them out to every one's email. Anyone else hungry?

Moving on to the snoozefest that is Vanessa and her problems with her boyfriend Derrick. *YAWN* I think using the term "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" doesn't quite describe the "good morning honey, you suck at being my boyfriend, I don't care if you are making tons of money at this new job you don't pay enough attention to meeeeee anymore" attitude she wakes up with. As her reward for acting out like Joan Crawford, Derrick proposes to her with a dance routine. Another dance routine. After she accepts and much celebration, they go to bed and Vanessa is startled awake after having a sex dream about Red Raymond.

Who wrote this episode? It's like a mash up of a Broadway musical and a Vivid Entertainment production. Less Broadway, more Vivid please.

At the ass crack of dawn Dan "The Man" Patch knocks on Savannah's door. I guess we are supposed to understand that Dan's been up all night wringing his hands deep in thought over his new found emotional dilemma of being in like with Savannah and having a huge... um "crush on" for Marti. With little more explanation than "It's not you, it's me," Dan dumps Savannah. Savannah slaps him and gives him the boot. Buh bye. Savannah really needs to stop ending episodes with her face all contorted.

Then there is that other annoying side plot of Marti and the Convict. Marti gets kicked off the project. The convict fires his lawyer, Julian, the law teacher. Marti quits Julian's class saying that he's a sell out. Julian signs the papers releasing her but apparently Marti's tirade about him being a sell out has touched a nerve. Julian takes her back on the project and in the class and then they exchange sexual favors. Just kidding. Marti gives Julian a big hug making Julian very, very uncomfortable. It's not clear if he is uncomfortable about the pants area, but uncomfortable never the less.

Back to our little broccoli floret Alice, who exacts revenge on Damian, the football player who shared her crudités photos with the entire campus when she finds out that he is gay. *GASP* After a not so well thought-out plan, she decides she is going to out him but after a harsh scolding from Red and Vanessa, she decides it would be better if she just blackmails the guy for the next year by making him take classes in privacy issues and how not to win friends. Or something like that. Dear Damian, in the immortal words of Homer Simpson, don't you know that you don't win friends with salad?

Review: Whole Lotta Love: An All-Star Salute To Fat Chicks

What do you get when you invite members of hair/glam/hard rock bands of yesteryear to the studio to sing the praises of plus-sized women everywhere? You get Whole Lotta Love: An All-Star Salute To Fat Chicks, "a musical homage to the big, beautiful women who make the rockin' world go 'round."

There are some really great covers on this album. L.A. Guns frontman Phil Lewis (arguably the biggest name on the album, with apologies to Cinderella's Jeff LaBar, Danger Danger's Ted Poley, and Twisted Sister's Jay Jay French and Eddie Ojeda) kicks off the disc with a great rendition of Queen's classic "Fat Bottomed Girls." Unknown Celisa Stratton, backed by Quiet Riot's Frankie Banali, does an amazing job with Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love." A big woman herself, Stratton has a great voice and I look forward to hearing more from her.

L.A. Guns singer Phil Lewis
[source]

Candye Kane, a lady with an extremely powerful voice, contributes "You Need A Great Big Woman," an original tune that harkens back to blues of old. Poley's cover of Electric Boys' "All Lips N' Hips," while a straightforward affair, was a welcome addition because it's a semi-obscure song I've always loved. I just wish they would've nixed the sitar intro, something I've always felt marred the original. There are also covers of Poison's "Unskinny Bop," AC/DC's "Whole Lotta Rosie," Ted Nugent's "Thunder Thighs," and Spinal Tap's "Big Bottom."

Two tracks on this disc stood above all the rest. The first was Trixter lead singer Steve Brown's cover of Mika's "Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)." Being a big Mika fan, I was convinced there was no way "Big Girl" could work as a rock song. I was mistaken. Brown's cover rocks hard and gives a new spin on the song. The second was a cover of Six Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back." I know what you're thinking: "Didn't we declare a moratorium on rock versions of old rap songs?" Yes, but we let this one slip through for two reasons:

1. The song is performed by Don Jamieson, a comedian and co-host of VH1's That Metal Show
2. The "Oh my God, Becky. Look at her butt." beginning of the song was removed and replaced with--get ready for this--David Lee Roth's conversation with the guitar at the beginning of "Yankee Rose." Does it work? Oh, hell yeah.

Well played, Mr. Jamieson.

Whole Lotta Love: An All-Star Salute To Fat Chicks can be purchased at SplitScreen Entertainment.

A PSA That Actually Works

Because after watching The Situation and Bristol Palin talk about sex, I don't think I want to have sex for awhile.



"Just in case you do get into a situation, I wanna make sure that you are situated because if you do get into a situation with your situation, you may end with a situation and you may not like that situation." Could this man say his own name more often? Who the hell does this guy think he is? Pikachu?

Free Download: Girl Talk's All Day

Yeah, I'm sure you've read all about Girl Talk's new album, All Day, on every music blog in the world this week. But in case you need further prodding, that's the purpose of this post. Prod! Prod! Go download the free mashup album. It's awesome.

Need further proof? Here's just a few of the '80s songs sampled on the album (rumor has it there are 372 songs sampled on the album):

• Beastie Boys, "Hey Ladies"
• Fugazi, "Waiting Room"
• Peter Gabriel, "In Your Eyes"
• General Public, "Tenderness" 
• Jane's Addiction, "Jane Says"
• N.W.A., "Express Yourself"
• Prince, "Delirious"
• T'Pau, "Heart And Soul"

You can also find samples from Beck, Nine Inch Nails, Lady GaGa, Radiohead, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, and damn near anyone you can think of on this album. So what are you waiting for? Go download it.

NPR Asks For Your Top Albums of 2010

You know the year is officially over when every music blogger worth the contents of his iPod starts churning out year-ending best-ofs. NPR's All Songs Considered Blog is no exception. They've already gotten over 500 comments worth of suggestions.

I've been "aged out" of the kind of indie rock played on college radio for more than a few years now, but I'm happy to see Deerhunter's Halcyon Digest getting a lot of attention. I love how this band borrows equally from fuzzy, '90s indie and British "shoegazer" bands like My Bloody Valentine:



Two more albums I really liked this year that kind of surprised me were Robyn's Body Talk Pt.1 and Scissor Sisters' Night Work. I am not usually a fan of dance pop, but both sucked me in. And after several decades of listening to sad boys with acoustic guitars, I probably needed a jolt:





So what are your top records of 2010?

Guns N' Roses, "Welcome To The Jungle"

I can't think of a better way to end Hair Band/Glam/Hard Rock Week than with a six pack of Guns N' Roses.

Enjoy!

"Welcome To The Jungle"

"Paradise City"

"Patience"

"Don't Cry"

"You Could Be Mine"

"November Rain"

SmackTalk Victim: Blubberella

Hello and welcome to Smacktalk, where each week we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the trailer for Blubberella. Hope ya love it!



Chag: Is this Schindler's List?

Archphoenix: Oh dear God, Chag. Uwe isn't really going Holocaust, is he?



A Vapid Blonde: "And all hope is fading." Is this a foreshadowing of my feelings for this movie?

Archphoenix: Vapid, it's a Uwe Boll film. There is no hope that this will be classy. Or watchable.



Chag: Here's a fun idea: let's drink every time they make a fat joke!

A Vapid Blonde: Did she just say she's Zamfir? This is already confusing.



Chag: Great! Just what the world needed: more slo-mo Matrix bullet dodging!



Chag: Ladies and gentlemen, Richie Cunningham's little brother!



Archphoenix: Rolling pins? Really? Oh Uwe. *sigh*

Chag: Ok. I'm drunk now.



A Vapid Blonde: She just killed that guy over a Footlong. All the work that Jared's done for the Subway image, RUINED!



A Vapid Blonde: Did she just poop? Oh my God, what is going on and why is there a cigar girl in the background?



A Vapid Blonde: Chia Hitler!



A Vapid Blonde: I kind of like the Bavarian Beer Fest Wench look. Anyone else craving a St. Pauli Girl... or twelve right now?

Archphoenix: I don't even understand what's happening here with all the weaving. Is it too late to sign up on the Stop Uwe Boll petition?

Chag: So... this is about an obese half-vampire super hero who kills Nazis? They came up with this plot using Mad Libs, didn't they?

Archphoenix: No, Chag, they pulled it from Uwe Boll's magical hat of crap ideas. HOW DOES HE KEEP GETTING FUNDING?

Chag: I just IMDbed Uwe Boll and don't think I've seen a single one of his movies. After watching this trailer, I plan on keeping it that way.