Cool Time Suck: If We Don't, Remember Me

Everybody has their favorite scenes from movies, but how about favorite seconds? Moments? Frames?

Anyone who likes movies, or just likes hypnotic images, should check out this Tumblr, If We Don't, Remember Me. It's pages and pages of micro-moments from movies created as gifs The result is a sometimes eerie and fascinating new way to look at movies.

You won't want to look away.

Be Advised: Some of the quotes beneath the images contain salty language, in case your work is sensitive to that sort of thing.

Doing The Creep

I don't normally like The Lonely Island and their songs.

Maybe it's the John Waters cameo.

Or maybe it's Nicki Minaj.

Either way, I love The Lonely Island's "The Creep."

New Music Releases: David Lowery, George Michael, Me First And The Gimme Gimmes

Here are this week's new releases by '80s and early '90s artists. We've compiled this list to the best of our abilities.

Artist: David Lowery
Title: The Palice Guards
Release date: February 1, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: This is the first solo album from the Camper Van Beethoven and Cracker frontman.


Artist: George Michael
Title: Faith
Release date: February 1, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Reissue
More information: This '80s classic gets the deluxe treatment with seven remixes, a 40-page book, and seven music videos.


Artist: Me First And The Gimme Gimmes
Title: Go Down Under
Release date: February 1, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: The world's greatest cover band pays tribute to INXS, Rick Springfield, Olivia Newton-John, and Air Supply on their new album.


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Set Your DVRs: Week Of January 31, 2011

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, January 31st
Conan: Randy Rogers Band
Jimmy Kimmel Live: The JaneDear Girls
Last Call With Carson Daly: Delta Spirit
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Edie Brickell
Late Show with David Letterman: Best Coast
Lopez Tonight: Jamie Foxx
The Tonight Show: Esperanza Spalding

Naughty By Nature, "O.P.P."

Harm me with harmony!

From 1991, here's Naughty By Nature with "O.P.P."

Enjoy!

Remembering The Challenger

I know that we generally keep things fairly light around here, but I figured that if ever there was a reason to make an exception, this would be it.

We Culture Brats are all children of the '80s, and we write about moments that define that decade. Most of our memories are good ones but, as is often the case, there are moments in history that make an impact on history in ways that songs, movies, television, and personalities never could. And many of those moments in history are tragic ones.

The morning of a Tuesday January 28th, 1986 was just another work day for me. I was in college at the time, but I also worked a full-time job at a retail store that sold, among other things, computers, VCRs, and TVs. I was in the computer department when my manager paged me over the intercom:

"Dave Ellis to the VCR aisle, IMMEDIATELY!"

I had no idea why he sounded so urgent.

SmackTalk Victim: Avril Lavigne, "What The Hell"

Hello and welcome to SmackTalk, where each week we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the music video for Avril Lavigne's "What The Hell." Hope ya love it!

Chris: For a rebel, Avril sure does keep her shoes neat and tidy.

A Vapid Blonde: If I go to bed with that much make up on, I wake up looking like Crack Whore Barbie. That's not fair.

Archphoenix: I totally wake up after a hot date with my lip gloss and eye makeup immaculate.

The Weirdgirl: I'd like to dispel a myth, NO ONE sleeps in black lace bras. They itch.

The Girl Wonder Next Door: Our Interview With Kristy Swanson

Kristy Swanson
CREDIT: Kristy Swanson
(via Bob Young)

Combine sugar, spice, cheerleading practice, vampire-slaying prowess, dating Duckie, and a pinch of serious fun.

Now blend into the perfect pop culture dream girl.

There before you stands Kristy Swanson.

Boys wanted to date her, girls wanted to be her, and your mom admired her perky effervescence.

We got a chance to speak to Kristy this week about her upcoming GMC movie What If.., and she's as sweet and soulful in real life as she appears on screen.

Hi, Kristy! Thanks for taking the time to speak to us today!
No problem.

You have a movie premiering on GMC on January 30th called What If... that co-stars Kevin Sorbo and John Ratzenberger. It's about a guy that chooses one path in life but then gets a look at what could have been had he gone down another road. If you hadn't been an actress, what do you think your alternate career or life path would have been?
Wow, I'm not really sure! When I was young I was really into oceanography but I also really got intrigued by forensics and detective work, so I probably would have done something like that. Yeah, definitely detective work.

You were Buffy, the original vampire slayer, and she was kind of the predecessor of these sweet but deadly heroines in films like Sucker Punch and Kick-Ass. Who can you think of today that's a role model for girls to look up to?
Oh my! You're talking to the wrong person at this point in time because sadly all I watch is Little Einsteins and Dora The Explorer so I wouldn't know. (laughter) I've got a toddler!

The Link Between Burlesque And The '80s

Today, Culture Brats is introducing a new feature: No Way! Basically, this feature will be fun little tidbits and trivia facts for you to astound your friends with.

Today's fun fact is this: the writer/director of the recent Golden Globes and Razzie-nominated movie musical, Burlesque, is... a Goonie! Well kinda.

Steve Antin, the writer/director of Burlesque played Troy Perkins, the hot varsity-jacket-wearing guy macking it to Andie, with one of my favorite lines in the film: "Andie, you Goonie!"

He also played Jessie in Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl" video.

This is Troy today, at a Burlesque premiere:

Goonies never die! They just hang out with divas.

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Time Zone, "World Destruction"

From 1984, here's Time Zone with "World Destruction."

Enjoy!

Top 30 '90s One-Hit Wonders (10-1)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite one-hit wonders from the '90s! For our list, any artist or band that had its sole US Top 40 hit during the 1990s was considered. Here's the moment you've all been waiting for: the top ten!

10. Cake, "The Distance"

Walt Disney's Princess Ke$ha

A touch of glitter on my cheek, now the look is complete.



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Williow Smith's Next Step Toward World Domination

It's been rumored for a few weeks now but Sony Pictures confirmed it this week: Will Smith is teaming with Jay-Z to create a new movie version of the musical Annie for his daughter, Willow, to star in.

AW. YEAH.

The Jay-Z version of Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem) has always struck me as funny - I mean, what's more gangsta than sampling from a musical about orphans, am I right?



In all seriousness, this could rock. If you've never seen the musical, The Wiz, it's a more urban version of The Wizard of Oz. And it's amazing. I think Will Smith and Jay-Z's version of Annie could be in the same vein.

The film version of The Wiz starred Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Nipsey Russell, Lena Horne, and Richard Pryor, and is directed by Sidney Lumet. Here is the original movie trailer:



So, who's down for a Smith/Jay-Z Annie? Think Beyonce will be the witch?

Chris de Burgh, "Don't Pay The Ferryman"

From 1982, here's Chris de Burgh with "Don't Pay The Ferryman."

Enjoy!

Top 30 '90s One-Hit Wonders (20-11)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite one-hit wonders from the '90s! For our list, any artist or band that had its sole US Top 40 hit during the 1990s was considered. Here are numbers 20-11:

20. The Prodigy, "Firestarter"

Crafting Through The '80s

Today I'm talking with Missie from Crafting with Cat Hair. I recently was doing a little research into the history of crafts and was aghast to find there were no comprehensive lists of crafts from the '80s. Aghast! However, Missie, who had a similar story trying to find '80s crafts, persevered and through her own creativity and exhaustive search methods put together her own amazing list of links and '80s-inspired craft ideas, which we are reprinting here for your crafty delight. She also hosted an ingenious Crafting Through the '80s craft-a-long on her blog. I caught up with her to chat about what led her to her '80s crafts journey.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by Underthemountain

How did you get inspired to do '80s-themed crafts?
I am totally a child of the '80s, which has made me obsessed with all things related to the '80s! I'm always on the lookout for '80s crafts or craft tutorials, but I haven't had much luck. So, I decided to start crafting my own items. I especially love reproducing items that I've seen in the past or something that I had as a child, but really any '80s craft is fun for me.

Did you get a lot of response from readers?
I hosted the craft-a-long pretty soon after I had started my blog, so I didn't have too many readers then, but I did get several of my regular readers to participate every week. One in particular, The Spotted Sparrow, started a new series for her Etsy shop because of the '80s craft-a-long.

I remember that making pot holders was a very popular craft in the '80s. I made quite a few of those. Do you remember any particular crafts you did back then that were particular to the era?
My grandmother was very crafty. She always gave me crafty presents like cross-stitch and embroidery kits. But, the first craft I remember learning was Spirograph. I really didn't start making crafts until I was older, but I always loved to play with creative toys like Lite-Bright, Shrinky Dinks, Colorforms, and Fashion Plates.

I see you have an Etsy shop. Do some of your '80s crafts spill over into your shop?
I am actually opening up an online shop this spring, www.hooksandwhiskers.com, and it will include some '80s items. I have so many ideas floating around in my head, so I'm really excited about my '80s items in particular. It should be a lot of fun!

Do you have plans to do more '80s-inspired craft series?
Yes, I am throwing an '80s birthday party this summer. I'll be crafting 90% of the party including the invitations, food, party favors, and my costume, so because of all of the '80s crafts I'll be making in the next few months, I think it will be fun to host another '80s craft-a-long. It will probably be on my blog sometime this spring.

Thank you so much for talking with us! Here is Missie's...

Crafting Through the '80s Timeline, Ideas, and Links

It's Always The '90s In Portlandia

Given the current deluge of '90s-related nostalgia, I was a little skeptical about IFC's new sketch comedy show, Portlandia, starring Sleater-Kinney alum Carrie Brownstein, and SNL's Fred Armisen.



Take everything you loved about -- or secretly groaned at -- '90s counter-culture, particularly Northeastern counter-culture: grunge, freegans, feminist bookstores, bicycling everywhere, zine making, and liberal politics galore and roll it into pretty hilarious sketch show. In an article for Salon, Matt Soller Seitz wonders if the left can handle this much poking fun at itself:

The series rather pointedly teases a core section of IFC's audience -- a portion that will watch Armisen and Brownstein's antics very closely, with an eye for accuracy, and then either roar with recognition and approval, or go on the Internet immediately and write a blog entry about how Portlandia doesn't get Portland or Oregon or feminist bookstores or urban bike culture. Armisen and Browstein's masterstroke is showing how certain flavors of modern leftist sensitivity/engagement can seem (to outsiders) like passive-aggressive self-absorption laced with contempt for the unenlightened.

I'll admit, after watching the first episode some of those bits hit a little close to home. (I've spent many hours in independently-owned book stores, and Feminist Book Store was accurate enough that I could almost smell the nag champa burning.) As much as Portlandia's appeal is regional, I see it more as a parody of a certain kind of entitled "alternative lifestyle" whose denizens can be found in most cities. Until they move to the suburbs and swap dumpster diving for Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.

Depeche Mode, "People Are People"

From 1984, here's "People Are People" by Depeche Mode.

Enjoy!

Top 30 '90s One-Hit Wonders (30-21)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite one-hit wonders from the '90s! For our list, any artist or band that had its sole US Top 40 hit during the 1900s was considered. Here are numbers 30-21:

30. Ben Folds Five, "Brick"

Culture Brats Live Ep II Tonight

Please join us for Culture Brats Live tonight on Talk Radio Unlimited. To listen, please visit Talk Radio Unlimited at 10 PM ET and click the "Listen Live" button. To call us on the air, dial 612.293.4262.

Tonight's topics will include:

• The Oscar nominations
• Sacha Cohen
• Cake and the music industry
• Kevin Smith
• R.E.M.
• And more!

Please join us tonight at 10 PM for Culture Brats Live on Talk Radio Unlimited.

The Children Of The '80s Are Reclaiming Pop Culture The Airwaves.

83rd Academy Awards Nominations

The nominees for this year's Oscars were announced earlier today. In case you were asleep or haven't been ANYWHERE else on the Internet today, here are the nominations:

Best Picture

127 Hours
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Speech
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter's Bone

Directing

Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, True Grit
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King's Speech
David O. Russell, The Fighter

Actor in a Leading Role

Javier Bardem, Biutiful
Jeff Bridges, True Grit
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King's Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours

Actress in a Leading Role

Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter's Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine

Jerry The Great

A few cuts, some Inception music, and VOILA! A different beast.



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100 Monkeys, "Ugly Girl"

From 2009, here's "Ugly Girl" by 100 Monkeys.

Enjoy!

Ross Brown: Distracting the Gatekeeper While You Sneak In

Remember a time when iron gates and heavily armed guards with gleaming armor kept back the teeming masses of marginally-talented humanity that were constantly trying to push their way into a profession that they had no business even dreaming of? There used to be a dividing line with people patrolling the perimeter with swift and brutal measures for those daring enough to attempt the crossing.

Some made it. Most did not.

Luckily, after many years passed, there came a bright new hope in the form of the Internet, which any old Tom, Dick, or Harry could use and suddenly you didn't need to tunnel your way under the fence to the promised land. You could instantly get there from the comfort of your own living room without ever having to get out of your pajamas!

This week I spoke to Ross Brown, professor at Chapman University and author of Byte-Sized Television: Create Your Own TV Series For The Internet who not only let me in on some of his books secret, but shared a few shocking nuggets of his own.

Hello. How are you today?
Hi, I'm good how are you?

Great! Your book, Byte-Sized Television: Create Your Own TV Series For The Internet, is coming out in February. One former student of yours who hasn't even read the book said that if it is even half as informative as the class you teach, then it's worth its weight in gold. How do you react to warm words of praise?
Well, gosh its great they say that and they aren't even waiting for a grade from me. It's awfully nice.

The Internet is kind of like the Wild West of entertainment. There are no sheriffs or guys standing guard at the gates only letting the elite few in. Does this mean the end of the money men in suits who used to hold the power to green light or veto your idea?
I don't think it's the end of the suits. Some people said that years ago when the Internet was breaking big with publishing and it's changed the publishing business and it's changed the music business and it will change the video entertainment business. It's already changing it there. But there's always going to be a place for the suits somewhere in this because there's different types of content. I don't think individual people can go out and make Avatar.

New Music Releases: Gang Of Four, The Godfathers

Here are this week's new releases by '80s and early '90s artists. We've compiled this list to the best of our abilities.

Artist: Gang Of Four
Title: Content
Release date: January 25, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: Eleven new tracks from from the punky funky Gang Of Four, their first album of new material in sixteen years


Artist: Godfathers
Title: Shot Live At The 100 Club
Release date: January 25, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Reissue
More information: Twenty-four live tunes


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Set Your DVRs: Week Of January 24, 2011

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, January 24th
Conan: Iron And Wine
Jimmy Kimmel Live: The Script
Last Call With Carson Daly: Menomena (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Edie Brickell
Late Show with David Letterman: The Walkmen
Lopez Tonight: Grace Potter And The Nocturnals
The Tonight Show: Lizz Wright

Hank & Cupcakes, "Ain't No Love"

From 2010, here's Hank & Cupcakes with "Ain't No Love."

Enjoy!

My Friday Gift to You: First Look At Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid

Entertainment Weekly just posted an exclusive clip from upcoming SyFy channel movie Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid and it's LOL-tastic. You have to click the link to go see it since they've turned off sharing for the moment.

Tiffany. Deborah Gibson. Catfight at a wedding. Giant snake. Giant alligator. Inbred hillbillies. Set your DVRs to AWESOME on January 29!

Top 40 '80s One-Hit Wonders (10-1)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite one-hit wonders from the '80s! For our list, any artist or band that had its sole US Top 40 hit during the 1980s was considered. Here's the moment you've all been waiting for... the Top Ten:

10. Nena, "99 Luftballoons"

Rubber

Ok. This could be the most awesome movie ever made. It's about a telekinetic killer who awakens in the desert and goes on a rampage.

Only the telekinetic killer is a...

TIRE!



[source]

New Video: Matt And Kim, "Cameras"

This video premiered yesteday on MTV and it kicks all kind of ass.

Babes In Toyland, "All By Myself"

From 1995, here's Babes In Toyland with "All By Myself."

Enjoy!

Top 40 '80s One-Hit Wonders (20-11)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite one-hit wonders from the '80s! For our list, any artist or band that had its sole US Top 40 hit during the 1980s was considered. Here are numbers 20-11:

20. Timbuk 3, "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades)"

On The Road With Jac Vanek

Shortly before the holidays, we had the chance to chat with Jac Vanek, owner of her own line of accessories and clothing at the young age of 23! She's toured with the Vans Warped Tour and Bamboozle, and just recently appeared at Bloomingdales in New York. Jac is the kind of gal who is very easy to talk to and interesting to boot. I could tell from the get-go that I could easily go on a million fun tangents with her and I would need to restrain myself.

It was hard.

My first question, actually, is Jac short for anything? Because I've been dying of curiosity.
Yeah, it's actually short for Jacquelene, and I started going by Jac when I was 15 or 16 when I first started immersing myself in the whole music industry because people could never, never pronounce my name right. It was always like Jacki or Jaclyn or something like that, so I was like, "You know what, I'm going to shorten it to Jac. It'll be easy, and you can't mispronounce it."

Jac Vanek
CREDIT: Claire Oring

So can you tell us a little bit about how you got started?
Yeah. I actually got started with the bracelets. And I started a few years ago while I was still in college. And I basically took $200.00 – that's all the extra money that I had at the time – and I put it into making the first bracelet that I had which is the RUTHLESS bracelet. I probably got 20 of them made. I sent them off to some of my friends in bands and some of my friends that are kind of more well known. And they supported me, and then their friends just started asking about it and fans, and it kind of just slowly expanded from that.

Ozzy Teaches You How To Be A Sell-Out

Or maybe it's how to be lame?

No, wait! He teaches us how to be normal!

She & Him, "Don't Look Back"

I swear, next to the word cute in the dictionary, there's a picture of Zooey Deschanel.

From 2010, here's She & Him with "Don't Look Back."

Enjoy!

Top 40 '80s One-Hit Wonders (30-21)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite one-hit wonders from the '80s! For our list, any artist or band that had its sole US Top 40 hit during the 1980s was considered. Here are numbers 30-21:

30. Peter Schilling, "Major Tom (Coming Home)"

A Few Moments With Eliza Doolittle

Eliza Doolittle
CREDIT: Valerie Phillips

In the UK, Eliza Doolittle is a platinum-selling recording artist. In the United States, she's just starting to make a name for herself. But with a five-song EP, a recent stint as the iTunes Single Of The Week, and a playful and sexy new video, we're hoping she becomes as well-known here as she is in her homeland.

Eliza was kind enough to sit down and talk with us about her videos and her influences.

Thanks so much for chatting with us today, Eliza! How are you doing?
I am fine thank you. How are you?

Great, thanks! Your single, "Rollerblades," was recently the iTunes Single Of The Week. How did that come about?
I did a couple of showcases in LA and San Francisco and I think there were some iTunes people there. They enjoyed what they saw and I got lucky!

The Jackass Swan

Raphael Saadiq, "Radio"

This is my favorite song right now.

From 2011, here's Raphael Saadiq with "Radio."

Enjoy!

Culture Brats Live Premieres Tonight

Prepare yourself for the new voice of pop culture!

Prepare yourself for the new voice of talk radio!

Prepare yourself for Culture Brats Live!

Culture Brats Live premieres tonight on Talk Radio Unlimited. To listen, please visit Talk Radio Unlimited at 10 PM ET and click the "Listen Live" button. To call us on the air, dial 612.293.4262.

Tonight's topics will include:

• The Golden Globes
• John Hughes
• Duran Duran
• Pee Wee Herman
• And more!

Please join us tonight at 10 PM as Culture Brats Live debuts on Talk Radio Unlimited.

The Children Of The '80s Are Reclaiming Pop Culture The Airwaves.

Top 40 '80s One-Hit Wonders (40-31)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite one-hit wonders from the '80s! For our list, any artist or band that had its sole US Top 40 hit during the 1980s was considered. Here are numbers 40-31:

40. M/A/R/R/S, "Pump Up The Volume"

John Hughes, Jerk

Last week, Kickin' It Old School posted an interview with Martha Coolidge, the director of two of my favorite '80s movies, Valley Girl and Real Genius, as well as Joy Of Sex, Rambling Rose, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, and episodes of Sex And The City, Huff, and Weeds.

While most of the interview focuses on her experiences working on Real Genius and Valley Girl, the interview drops one hell of a bomb about beloved '80s icon John Hughes.

WARNING: If you don't want your fondest memories of the '80s immediately crushed, stop reading now and go watch VH1 Classic or something.

Last chance...

Don't Look Back In Anger

We need to talk about Henry.

A full summer evening of pounding rock and roll at Atlanta's Masquerade Club in the early nineties sounded like heaven to most people, especially with a roster that included Helmet and Rollins Band among other earsplitting favorites.

I had made the mistake of attending this show solo since I had been in lone wolf mode after finding out my boyfriend did not enjoy the thrill of the rock concert the way I did, so I naively made my way to the front where others gathered in the sweltering outside space.

Soon enough, the combination of thundering music, torrential rains, unbridled testosterone, and a poorly constructed wall resulted in an out-of-control crowd and a wave of sopping wet humanity crashed through the wood barrier and snapped my tiny arm.

Lick The Tins, "Can't Help Falling In Love"

From 1986, here's Lick The Tins with "Can't Help Falling In Love."

Enjoy!

Game Boy Rock Stars: An Interview With D&D Sluggers' Soultron Tim White

D&D Sluggers are a Wilmington, NC duo that plays chip rock music on Game Boys and the Nintendo DS. While it would be easy from some to dismiss the band as a novelty act, even a casual listen to the Sluggers' music reveals awesome hooks, fun lyrics, and some great melodies.

Guitarist Soultron Tim White was nice enough to sit down with me and answer a few questions about D&D Sluggers, how one plays music on a Game Boy, their live show, and Afroman.

Tim, I'd like to thank you for taking time to speak with us today. How's it going?
No problem! I was just trying to find my cat.

MICHAEL!

I ran across this while surfing the internets and laughed pretty hard. Need a recap of the movie Lost Boys? Here you go!



Vampire Kiefer. So hilariously adorable.

TV Preview: Heavy

A&E, the network that brought us Intervention and Hoarders, is now doing for the morbidly obese what it's done for addicts and obsessive-compulsives with its new series Heavy.

Those folks have cornered the market on neatly bound, one-hour docudramas, have they not? And Heavy doesn't deviate from the formula. Each episode profiles two people whose health is threatened by their weight -- we're talking people weighing in between 400 and 700 pounds -– and follows them on their journey to transform their overweight Before selves to healthier, thinner After shots.

Is the show a game, like The Biggest Loser? No. A&E doesn't play like that. Does it take psychological illness and turn it into a compulsively watchable sideshow? Thankfully not. Heavy treats its subjects respectfully, like humans, rather than carnival freaks.

The premiere episode follows Tom, 37, who initially weighs in at 638 pounds, and Jodi, 36, whose extreme weight has already resulted in a minor stroke. Photos of a young Tom show he was an active, thin kid. Now, he can't walk five steps without losing his breath. Jodi claims the mantle of Funny Fat Girl by showing the contents of her fridge to the cameras, and calling the supersize jug of Ranch dressing "the fat girl's staple."

A&E continues to do what it does best: turn long, difficult recoveries into dramatic-yet-tidy one-hour bites. Tom and Jodi are working towards a goal: to live longer by shedding pounds. It's hard. They almost give up. They see a therapist or a trainer, and try again. They almost give up again. We're led to wonder: will they lose the weight? Will they gain it back? Will the overwrought music that surges every time someone steps onto a scale just freaking stop, already?

The good news of this premiere episode is that after six months of hardcore therapy and exercise, Tom and Jodi do come out the other side happier, healthier, and yes, somewhat thinner. We get our After shots.

But compressing six months into one hour means there's a lot we don't see, of course. We're told that Jodi has a toxic mother who laughs at her when she attempts to exercise, but we only hear about how Jodi had to kick Mom out of the house during the interview after the fact. We don't see the big fight. At one of Tom's check-ups after initially losing 50 pounds, we learn that he's gained it all back, plus 30 more. But we're not there with him in his house when he backslides and binges on fried food. So a lot of Tom's and Jodi's journey is relayed second-hand. Which makes it less real, and more... compact.

Heavy could be a sobering look at a national epidemic, if it just slowed down. Instead, it's too invested in the quick, one-hour road to a happy ending with a bow on top.

Heavy premieres on A&E tonight, Monday Jan 17th, at 10 PM ET.

New Music Releases: Social Distortion, The Fall, Wang Chung, Pearl Jam

Here are this week's new releases by '80s and early '90s artists. We've compiled this list to the best of our abilities.

Artist: Social Distortion
Title: Hard Times And Nursery Rhymes
Release date: January 19, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: Eleven new tracks from SoCal punk legends.


Artist: The Fall
Title: This Nation's Saving Grace (Omnibus Edition)
Release date: January 18, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Reissue
More information: Mega reissue of the classic 1985 album. Contains all eleven original tracks and thirty-one b-sides and alternate versions.


Artist: Wang Chung
Title: Everybody Wang Chung Tonight... Wang Chung's Greatest Hits
Release date: January 18, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Reissue
More information: This mp3-only greatest hits collection contains fourteen tracks.


Artist: Pearl Jam
Title: Live On Ten Legs
Release date: January 18, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Reissue
More information: Eighteen live tracks recorded during their 1998 tour.


Also this week: The Decemberists.

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Set Your DVRs: Week Of January 17, 2011

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, January 17th
Conan: My Chemical Romance
Last Call With Carson Daly: School Of Seven Bells (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Best Coast (R)
The Tonight Show: Maroon 5

Afroman, "Because I Got High"

From 2001, here's Afroman with "Because I Got High."

Enjoy!

Hollywood Is Just Getting Ridiculous 3: The Revenge

It seems the people running Hollywood these days spent a lot of time pumping quarters into arcades in the 80s. On the heels of yesterday's news about a movie based on a certain trackball arcade game in the works, comes today's earth-shattering announcement that the most famous 8-bit icon of the first video game era has a project in development.

Pac-Man is on his way to our TV screens--in a reality show!

The show will follow the yellow, pellet-eating dude and his feminist wife, Mrs. Pac-Man, as they try to rebound their careers in the modern age.

Actually, details of the show are limited, but it seems that Pac-Man: The Series might be some sort of Wipeout-inspired game show. Which still doesn't quite tell us much.

What it does mean is that Hollywood has not yet tapped the mine of our childhood memories for ideas.

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Editor's Note: I think the only way this series has any chance for survival is if SHE is involved. --Chag

Apparently, The Ladybugs Wanted A New Picnic

Sesame Street killed a little slice of my childhood with this:

The O.G. 'Bugs:

I Can Finally Be An Angel!

Good news everyone! ABC is resurrecting a classic television show! Charlie's Angels is coming back to the little screen!

Michael Ausiello, formerly of Entertainment Weekly, now writing for TVLine (who has an AMAZING Smurf collection), reports that ABC has dusted off the series yet again and will be bringing it to a television set near you.

This go-around, TVLine has learned, the show will be set in Miami and Bosley will be hot. (No offense to David Doyle.) Also of note: Leonard Goldberg, a producer on the original series, is on board, as is (behind the scenes) Drew Barrymore, who brought the crimefighters to the big screen. Overseeing the whole operation will be Smallville alumni Alfred Gough and Miles Millar.

Come on ladies, fess up, who else ran around in their mom's heels, tossed their hair around, and did the iconic gun pose? I know it wasn't just me. Right? Please say I'm not that lame.

Who do we want to see as Angels and Bosley this time around? Other than me, obviously. I'm out of practice. Mila Kunis has the hair for it, but she's busy being a Black Swan and stuff now.

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The Offspring, "Why Don't You Get A Job?"

And to close out our "Hey, haven't I heard that somewhere before?" week, we bring you probably the worst offender ever.

Surely this song makes you think of another song!

From 1998, here's "Why Don't You Get A Job?" from The Offspring.

Enjoy!

Hollywood Is Just Getting Ridiculous 2: Electric Boogaloo

In our Reboot Remake Regurgitate column, we spend most of our time griping about remakes of beloved movies and television shows we remember fondly from our youth. Every once in awhile, Hollywood draws our ire by announcing they're making a movie based on a toy, a board game, or a video game.

But this is a new one: Hollywood is making a movie based on a music video. They're hoping to turn Rock Mafia's "The Big Bang" into a major motion picture.

Seriously.

And no, it's not going to be a porno.

But just like the music video below, it's going to star Miley Cyrus:



If Hollywood really wants to make a movie based on a music video, they should use this one instead:



[source]

Hollywood Is Just Getting Ridiculous

It was announced yesterday that FOX is going to make a movie based on the Atari classic, Missile Command. This isn't simply a case of a movie studio calling "DIBS!" on a property; they've gone and hired writers for the thing.

This is just another instance of Hollywood buying a name and not an idea. You can't make a movie based on Missile Command. Nobody wants to watch two hours of missiles being shot at six buildings while a little cursor tries to blast the missiles from the sky. No matter how cool the CGI might be.

What's next? Super Breakout: The Motion Picture?

For those of you who are too young to remember Missile Command, here ya go:



For those of you who aren't too young to remember Missile Command, here ya go:

Play an updated version of Missile Command online for FREE

[source|image]

Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Dani California"

What song does this make you think of?

From 2006, here's "Dani California" by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Enjoy!

Top 16 Bill Murray Roles

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite Bill Murray Roles. Did your favorite make the cut? Find out below!

16. Bunny Breckinridge, Ed Wood

15. Ken Bowden, Wild Things

14. Arthur Denton, Little Shop Of Horrors

13. Grimm, Quick Change

12. Steve Zissou, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou

11. Tripper, Meatballs

10. Bob Wiley, What About Bob?

9. John Winger, Stripes

8. Bill Murray, Zombieland

7. Ernie McCracken, Kingpin

6. Bob Harris, Lost In Translation

Everything Old Is New Again: Fitz And The Tantrums

Try and imagine for a moment, a world devoid of new music.

There, did you do it yet?

You can uncurl out of the fetal position and sit back down now.

It is incomprehensible that such a bleak terrifying landscape could exist even if it is only within the deep cavernous recesses of our minds.

It is for this very reason that I can spend hours listening and silently critiquing the vast offerings laid out before me on the XM/Sirius satellite stations that have what only college radio used to give me.

A rare unpolished gem on the verge of breakthrough.

Today I give you Fitz And The Tantrums!

Killing Joke, "Eighties"

What song do you hear when you listen to this?

From 1984, here's Killing Joke with "Eighties."

Enjoy!

Jen Grisanti, A Person You Need to Know

So you're in your mom's basement, sitting on a fold-out chair and surrounded by thousands of abandoned scripts for TV pilots and movie ideas, smashing your head on your trusty Smith Corona typewriter and wailing about the cruelty of it all. Still reverberating in your head is the advice given to you by your parents at the last family meeting, "Give up and get a day job."

Why did things turn out this way? Why didn't Spielberg or Nolan return your calls? What can you do to remedy this cruel injustice?

Well, I'll tell you.

You can read this interview with the queen of Hollywood scriptwriting, Jen Grisanti.

You can take her advice to heart, move out of your parents house, and get to work!
  

Jen Grisanti

Hi Jen, how are you?
I'm great today. How about you?

Wonderful, thanks for asking. Let's start right off with talking about your new book that's coming out this March called Storyline: Finding Gold in Your Life Story. Without giving too much away, what kind of advice do you have for those with a story to tell?
The book is about fictionalizing your truth, so it's about writing from an authentic place. I go pretty deep into how writers can draw from their own emotional well and add fiction to it in their writing so it's not writing from an autobiographical place but writing from a place of truth and adding fiction to it.

Sort of like writing what you know but with pizazz to give it a little "wow" factor?
Exactly. Say for example you're writing a TV spec script and you're writing a Modern Family or The Good Wife, and you are looking at your own personal well of information and figuring out how do I draw from some of what I've experienced in my own life and put that into my characters and situations so that I'm coming from an authentic place? Which means your voice will come out in your writing and you'll connect with your audience.

It really is about learning how to draw from your well in order to connect with your audience.

The Most Awesomest Skee-Lo T-Shirt Ever

Ok. This might be the only Skee-Lo t-shirt ever, but you've got admit that this is pretty cool:



Don't get it? Listen to this:



[source via here]

What's My Name? Jack. Or Possibly Diane.

Here's an interesting mash-up from Party Ben: take the vocals from Rhianna's "What's My Name?" and put them over the music from John Cougar Mellencamp's "Jack And Diane."

Awesome!

What's My Name Jack (Rihanna & Drake vs. John Mellencamp) by partyben

[source]

Wire, "Three Girl Rhumba"

What song does this remind you of?

From 1977, here's Wire's "Three Girl Rhumba."

Enjoy!

Red Dawn Redux

Eons ago we told you that there's a remake of the film Red Dawn in the works. It kind of dropped off the face of the Earth for a while because the film's being made at MGM which has had a lot of financial issues lately: they filed for bankruptcy at the end of 2010 and are going through restructuring. It also ran into a bit of trouble because the film casts China as the new big bad guy and the Chinese took a bit of offense to this. Anyway, all the troubles may be clearing up because a cast photo recently appeared online.



It's presumed that the film may now get a 2011 release as the film is reportedly more or less filmed and needs little work to get out the door.

As an interesting side note, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's adopted son, Connor Cruise, is now listed among the cast members on team Wolverine.

Who's ready for the new Commie invasion?

Free Download: Eliza Doolittle, "Rollerblades"

Last month, we featured Eliza Doolittle's most excellent "Skinny Genes" as our Song of the Day. This week, iTunes is offering her song "Rollerblades" as a free download. While it's not as catchy as "Skinny Genes," it's still a great song and definitely worth the price of admission.

That's two weeks in a row that iTunes has offered something worthwhile as their single of the week. 2011 looks good on you, iTunes!

New Music Releases: Cake, Wire, Edie Brickell

Here are this week's new releases by '80s and early '90s artists. We've compiled this list to the best of our abilities.

Artist: Cake
Title: Showroom Of Compassion
Release date: January 11, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: The first album of new material in seven years from a band that consistently puts out solid albums.


Artist: Wire
Title: Red Barked Tree
Release date: January 11, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: This is Wire's twelfth studio album in twenty-five years.


Artist: Edie Brickell
Title: Edie Brickell
Release date: January 11, 2011
Rebirth or Reissue: Rebirth
More information: The first album in five years from the "What I Am" singer.


Also this week: Easily the two most anticipated singles of 2011 will be released on Tuesday: Britney's "Hold It Against Me" and the joint "H.A.M." from Jay-Z and Kanye. I'll be hittin' up iTunes for both tracks come tomorrow.

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Set Your DVRs: Week Of January 10, 2011

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, January 10th
Conan: Guster
Jimmy Kimmel Live: The Wombats
Last Call With Carson Daly: Fitz & The Tantrums (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Okkervil River
Late Show with David Letterman: The Black Keys
Lopez Tonight: Plain White T's
The Tonight Show: Diane Birc

The Hollies, "The Air That I Breathe"

Does this song make you think of another song?

From 1974, here's "The Air That I Breathe" by The Hollies.

Enjoy!

LinkChurch: Wang Chung, Grammy Awards, John Lydon

Here's our weekly wrap-up of pop culture commentary and news we didn't get a chance to cover during the week.

Culture Brats Highlights of the Week

• We critique the "Sunlight" video from Bag Raiders.
• We take a look at Generation X.
• We remember friendship pins.
• We warn you about the Mini-Smith takeover.

Elsewhere

• Kickin' It Old School interviews Wang Chung's Jack Hues.
• The Love Hate Society predicts the Grammy Awards.
• Popdose discusses the future of the album.
• Popdose takes a look at E!'s projected 2011 hit movies.
• Stereogum interviews John Lydon.
  
  

May The Force Be With You. Again. In A Different Format.

One of the biggest stories to come out of the 2011 Consumer Electronics Show is the announcement that the Star Wars saga is coming to Blu-ray, though this is hardly surprising news. If there's a road to make money off of Star Wars, you better believe you'll see Grandpa George driving down it. This time the movies come in either a boxed set of the original trilogy, the prequels, or the complete saga. There are also promises of some 30 plus hours of extras and bonus footage.

What has been withheld, however, is if the original trilogy is the original theatrical versions we Brats have grown up with or if they are the horrible bastardized "special editions". Once upon a time, Lucas promised that the original versions would never be released on DVD, yet bare-bones, stripped down versions were made available. If I were a gambling man, I'd bet that the Blu-rays are going to be the "special editions" cause Lucas doesn't really care if we like the originals better. He likes shoving the special editions down our throats and knows that people will buy 'em anyway.

If I may editorialize for a moment: I wish I could get more excited about this news. As much as I loved the original Star Wars trilogy, I've grown weary of the franchise. It's become stale and somewhat boring, focusing on space politics rather than fun and coherent storytelling. It may go against my geek cred to say, but I feel that many older fans are still with Star Wars out of habit. Yet kids still love Star Wars in the same way that we did. So it's hard to argue against it. (I'd be lying if I said I'm not excited to share the original trilogy with my kids. But not those new fangled prequels.)

The Blu-rays won't be released until September, but you can pre=order them from Amazon right now.  Just remember, George isn't going to stop here.  Later you'll be asked to buy the 3D versions too.

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The Greatest School Fight Song EVER

If you've been wondering who to put your money on in Monday night's National Championship game, put it on the Ducks.

Why?

Jimmy Fallon and Sebastian Bach have produced the greatest school fight song of all time for them: the world's first college power ballad! There's no way they can lose if they listen to this in the locker room before the game.



Update: If you love the song as much as the Culture Brats I do, you can now download a free mp3! Thanks Uncle Jimmy!

[source]

The All-American Rejects, "Move Along"

From 2006, here's "Move Along" by The All-American Rejects.

Enjoy!

SmackTalk Victim: Bag Raiders, "Sunlight"

Hello and welcome to SmackTalk, where each week we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the cute but creepy music video for Bag Raiders' "Sunlight." Hope ya love it!



Chris: Is this Animal Planet?



Didactic Pirate: Is that Scarlett Johanssen? No. But pretty good match.

James Van Der Beek, Asshole For Hire

I can speak from personal experience that James Van Der Beek is an asshole. But at least now he's using his dark powers for good:

The Shapeshifters, "Lola's Theme"

From 2004, here's "Lola's Theme" by The Shapeshifters.

Enjoy!

Generation Xamined

My husband turned 40 this year. Almost before he could bite into a slice of cake several Baby Boomers of our acquaintance made comments that he was "just a kid" and "still a pup".

With all the articles this New Year's about Baby Boomers turning 65, it got me thinking about those of us at Culture Brats. We the self-dubbed 80s kids. We fit squarely in the Generation X category, the generation born after the Baby Boomers between the years 1965 to 1980 (time spans vary by resource). Out of curiosity I did some research into what the media says about Generation X. I mean, I know what they said when we were all first branded with the term in our youth ("slacker", which I for one didn't particularly appreciate considering I was working my way through college), but what were they saying now?

What I found was baffling and almost laughable. "Slacker", "anxious", "ignored", "lost", and "middle child syndrome" were terms, in recent articles, I saw pop up! Still! As if we were a group of particularly troubling teens instead of adults approaching middle age.

I remember the furious speculation when the Gen X label first started floating around about how our generation wasn't going to get very far because of our slackerly and disaffected attitudes. We didn't take anything seriously, you know, angrily drinking coffee in plaid shirts (you'd be angry, too, if you had to wrestle that coffee into a shirt). Granted, there are many of us who still enjoy a good cynical joke with a side of smartass (go Culture Brats!), but those speculations are 20 years old now. Why are still getting saddled today with labels usually associated with children?

Has it all been thrust upon us by the media or is there some part of us that still feels like Reality Bites has just been extended into mortgage payments?

Frankly, raising my child and paying bills I gotta tell ya... I feel like a grownup.

So for today's Your Say Hump Day I want to know... how do you define yourself? Adult or kid? Youthful or middle-aged? Generation X or something else entirely?

Natalie Portman Is In Every Movie In 2011 And I Want To See Them All

This is the red band trailer for No Strings Attached. It looks funny as hell.

Friends, '80s Style

Hi, I'm Heather and I'm considering committing a heinous act.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I think I want to introduce my 8-year-old daughter to the concept of friendship pins. Of course a comeback of friendship pins warrants a comeback of painted white canvas shoes like Keds, but my parents never bought Keds for me to deface. Wise, wise parents. The canvas shoes need to be the lace-up style, but you can't wear the laces, just in case you forgot the "rules."

When I think of the friendship pins my friends and I traded, I feel all warm and fuzzy. It was a sort of craft project that took seconds to make and could make someone happy just as quickly.

How could I not want to share the love with my daughter's generation? All you need are a few tiny beads and a few small safety pins. Fun and cost effective!

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Ian Axel, "This Is The New Year"

From 2010, here's Ian Axel's "This Is The New Year."

Enjoy!

Josh Groban's New Bestseller

I'd buy all 48 CDs.

Why My Money's On A Mini-Smith Take Over

As part of the Culture Brats predictions for 2011, I predicted:

Will Smith's kids, Jaden and Willow, begin part 2 of their world domination plan in 2011. I for one welcome our tiny talented overlords.

Here's why I made this bold prediction:

1. I finally watched the 2010 remake of The Karate Kid starring Jaden Smith. And while I still have some issues with it (He's 12! And kissing! And learning kung-fu not karate! And there's a Justin Bieber song! And no Joe Esposito!) I had to admit, it was alright. And Jaden is crazy talented and charismatic. That boy takes after his mom and dad, no two ways about it. And he clearly worked out and worked hard on that film. So kudos to Jaden.
    
2. Willow Smith made waves late last year with her pop song, Whip My Hair, and you know it's kinda catchy. And she's what? 9 years old?

And then I read this article on Yahoo. Willow is thinking about remaking her dad's song, Parents Just Don't Understand. And I think that. Is. AWESOME. Seriously. DO IT WILLOW! How cute is baby Will Smith in this anyway?



I just hope the Smith kids turn out relatively ok, unlike so many other baby stars lately. But they both seem bright and sassy and stable in the interviews I've seen lately, so here's to hoping!

Rivers Cuomo Covers The Beach Boys

You know, I thought about giving this a cheesy title like "Rivers Hits The Beach."

Then I thought about giving it a truthful title like "I've Listened To This Awesome Song Thirty-Seven Times Today."

In the end, it's better to let the music speak for itself.

Here's Rivers Cuomo performing "God Only Knows."



[source]

Midseason Guilty Pleasures For Shut-Ins

Television's Winter 2011 line-up is chockfull of those shows we profess to hate, but somehow can't get enough of. MTV's third season (already?!) of its biggest hit, Jersey Shore premiers this Thursday, January 6th at 10/9c with a new castmate, Deena, and some, er, curious hijinks as witnessed by these screencaps provided by Jezebel.

Keeping with the "so bad it's good" theme, Oxygen's Bad Girls Club returns January 10th at 9/8c. Full disclosure: I've been shamelessly following this show for a couple years now. It's hard to explain the appeal except for pure, voyeuristic pleasure. It truly is a trainwreck of drinking, fighting, hair pulling and general debauchery. I expect nothing less for season six. However, what I'm really looking forward to is season three of Logo's breakout hit, RuPaul's Drag Race. Imagine America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, American Idol, and yes, a soupçon of Bad Girls Club rolled into a cheeky, kitschy ball of awesomness. The new season premiers Monday, January 24th on Logo. I can't confirm or deny this, but the first two season also aired on VH1 a day later, for those of us whose cable systems don't carry Logo. Grrr.

(To see more of TV's winter schedule, Chicago Now has compiled a massive list of all the shows debuting or premiering this month.)

D&D Sluggers, "Receipts"

From 2010, here's D&D Sluggers with "Receipts."

Enjoy!

Free Download: The Decemberists, "Down By The Water"

You can download the first single, "Down By The Water," from The Decemberists' upcoming album, The King Is Dead, from iTunes. It sounds a lot like R.E.M.

Back when R.E.M. were still worth a listen.

And if that's not enough for you, you can also stream The King Is Dead on NPR.

Free Download: Avril Lavigne, "What The Hell"

Avril Lavigne won't have a new album for you until March 8th, 2011. But to hold you over in the meantime, you can download the album's first single, "What The Hell" for free. All you have to do is like her on Facebook. (I don't know why writing that made me think of those middle school notes, "Do you like me? Check yes or no.")

Anyway, if you're a fan of "Sk8r Boi" or "Girlfriend" like me (shut up!), I recommend you downloading this extremely catchy tune.

Update: Apparently, she was only offering this free mp3 for 48 hours. So all that happens now when you like her is you get to stream her song. And you HAVE to like her in order to stream the song. Boo, Avril!

Dave Navarro Gets Grounded

Oh boy! Check it out. Here is an unaired pilot that's been sitting on the shelves for five years for MTV's Grounded, a show where celebrities would spend a few days back at home with their parents as "normal" people while the camera follows them around. The filmed pilot stars Jane's Addiction's Dave Navarro. It shows him going to Costco and McDonald's (Celebrities! Just like us!) and babysitting his five- and eight-year-old brothers.

Set Your DVRs: Week Of January 3, 2011

Here are the musical acts appearing on the talk show circuit this week. We compiled this list to the best of our abilities. Check your local listings and don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, January 3rd
Conan: Christina Aguilera (R)
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Josh Groban
Last Call With Carson Daly: OFF! (R)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Best Coast
Lopez Tonight: Rooney (R)
The Tonight Show: Sick Puppies

New Releases: Greatest Hits Packages

There are no new releases from any '80s or early '90s artists this week. The only thing of note is another slew of Icon greastest hits releases from Vanessa Carlton, Cher, Jerry Clower (!), Sheryl Crow, El Debarge, Ella Fitzgerald, Marvin Gaye, Imogen Heap & Frou Frou, Billy Holiday, Brian McKnight, and Lee Ann Womack.

Better luck next week!

Big Country, "In A Big Country"

From 1983, here's Big Country's "In A Big Country."

Enjoy!