Short Changed

According to an ad I got from Forever 21 a couple weeks ago (Forever 21: the height of the fashion industry), the '90s are back! But when you walk into the store there is still '80s neon everywhere so I'm not holding out that '90s grunge is being embraced into the fashion pool just yet. Maybe it has a toe in. Maybe. (Enough for a series on dainty florals and plaid? Hmmm.)

Anywho, apparently shorts that are so short the pockets are hanging out are being laid on the '90s doorstep. Now I don't remember this being exclusively a '90s fashion trend, but it could be that I was so horrified by the pockets in general that I blocked all memories of their birth. (I've also blocked out huge amounts of butt crack, boxers showing above baggy jeans, and that whole "let me show off my cute thong" trend. Do you see an area theme here?)

The new shorts-with-pockets-showing have been "updated" to include pockets of contrasting fabrics. It's so very fashion forward of Daisy Duke. Here an example in plaid, just to really carry out the '90s theme:

Superhero Chucks

DC Comics have teamed up with Converse for some pretty awesome shoes:

Big Stud... And Not That Hunky Guy In Your Math Class

Yeah, yeah, what goes around comes around and that goes double for fashion. But especially with '80s fashion: so big in its own right, you can't just repeat the same old, same old... You've got to modernize it. Say it with me, "Mod-er-nize!" Or failing that, let's make it bigger than ever!

*sigh*

I actually like a good stud (bad boy or accessory) but some things should be done in moderation.

Hmmm, which is worse, the crop circle theme or the metal nipples (mipples)?



You know what I was missing from my leggings? Skin divots.



Eve-Ah! (Wall-E caught sneaking around with a new compacter. An E! exclusive.)



I'm sorry, robot models in wind tunnels are just not an appealing ad campaign. Although I do trust I'll be able to deflect bullets with that jacket in the future war.



Never lose your Transformers schematics again.



And last but not least... country western gone BADASS!



Hold me.

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Splattered

When I was 13, I had the coolest pair of paint-splattered Keds. Except they weren't actually Keds but the cheaper Payless Shoes version. (Which wasn't quite as cool as actual Keds but they were close.) Nonetheless, for $5.99 those white tennies with multi-colored paint splatters weren't just darn cute, they were chic because they were a design pattern that had never been done before! (You know, if you don't count Jackson Pollock.) On top of that, those paint splatters kind of hinted at a little bit of subversiveness... like they could have been at the scene of a building getting tagged. Maybe. You can't tell that they weren't. I was styling in my bad child, knock-off splatter paint tennies.

But that was when I was 13. I didn't have much experience in the world and I thought using baby oil as sunscreen was a good idea. Since then I've come to associate paint splatter as one of those beginning Photoshop tutorials.

Which means there must be a lot of beginning Photoshop students designing clothes these days.



Hey fashion students! It's supposed to be about reinventing. Re-inventing! That means taking an old style and making it modern. Not just watching Flashdance, throwing something together and thinking no one will notice.



OK, this one is kind of cool. It's got rips! And paint splatters! And geometric shapes! I want to pair it with a fedora and some pegged pants. Think I can wear it to a parent-teacher conference?



There is even an entire section of Zazzle just for paint splattered Keds!



(Repeat after self: I am not 13. I am not 13. I am not 13.)

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In Honor of the World Cup

For my birthday I made my boys take me to a MLS soccer game. (That's a football match if you're from anywhere else in the world.) I haven't seen a soccer game in a zillion years and the weather was great so I thought it would be fun. I also want to watch some World Cup games so I needed to get my head back into the game. But I digress. While I was at the game I remembered that Umbro shorts used to be all the rage in the late '80s/early '90s. Remember these?


They were all kinds of popular at my school. Some kids even doubled them up to layer the colors - what's cooler than one pair of Umbros? TWO PAIRS!

I had more than a few pairs myself. In my defense, I did actually play a lot of soccer so I often wore them from school to practice. So they were practical, right? Also, they are insanely comfortable. However, that does not mean they should be paired with a baggy (and probably matchy neon) t-shirt, multi-layered colorful socks, sneakers, and worn every day. I understand this now. (Incidentally, I owned both pairs of shorts pictured on this site. *hangs head* )

Anyone else a fan of the Umbros? Think we will see a comeback?

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