When Flav Met Miley

I know this isn't the usual fare we publish on Culture Brats, but anytime you come across a chance to write about Flavor Flav, you do it.

I just love how excited Flav is to be meeting Miley Cyrus... because he thinks he's meeting Gwen Stefani!

Icon: Our Interview With Flavor Flav

Fact: Public Enemy is the greatest and most important rap group of all time. In a two-year period, they put out not one, but two classic albums in It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back and Fear Of A Black Planet.

These days, more people may know Public Enemy hype man Flavor Flav as a roastee (Comedy Central Roast Of Flavor Flav), published author (Flavor Flav: The Icon The Memoir), and reality TV star (The Surreal Life, Strange Love, Flavor Of Love). This evening, he's opening Flavor Flav's House Of Flavor, a soul food restaurant in Las Vegas. But first, he dropped by and spoke with us about the restaurant, his upcoming reality TV show, his and Public Enemy's legacy, the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, and his clocks.

How's it going today?
Yo, man! Everything's going great, man. So far, so good. Slow motion's better than no motion, baby.

Tell us about Flavor Flav's House Of Flavor restaurant.
Flavor Flav's House Of Flavor is gonna be a takeout restaurant on Maryland Parkway right here in Las Vegas. Yes, it has my signature and famous fried chicken on the menu and also we've got some good sides: collard greens, macaroni and cheese, rice and gravy, mashed potatoes and gravy. My partner that I teamed up with, his name is Farrah Gray and he's also my book publisher, added a red velvet waffle to the menu. That red velvet waffle, I've been told, is out of sight!

Will the restaurant have any of your memorabilia inside?
It sure will. Right now, we got a bunch of pictures of me hanging up and stuff. Also, we got some video footage of Public Enemy playing inside the restaurant. I'll probably go to my archives and pull out some clocks and probably put some clocks up on the wall, too.

Celebrity Wife Swap: Tell Me If "I Wanna Swap" Kills Your Soul

Celebrity Wife Swap debuted Monday night. Like the name implies, it involves celebrities trading their wives (or husbands). But I don't think you get them all day, if you catch my drift.

Monday night's episode feature Carnie Wilson and Mike Seaver's sis, Tracey Gold. Tuesday night's episode featured Gary Busey and former evangelist Ted Haggard. While I haven't watched the show, I do think I'll be tuning in next week to see Public Enemy's Flavor Flav swap wives with Twisted Sister's Dee Snider. Because that will be some rock 'n' roll magic right there, kids.

That said, a little piece of me died while watching the following promo for the series:

Update #1: The video has been removed from YouTube, ABC, Hulu, Dailymotion, Metacafe -- basically, name the venue, it's gone.

Update #2: It has been removed from every location, save one: ABC has forgotten to remove it from their Facebook page.

So why did ABC pull the plug on the video? Maybe it's the lyrics, which are a shameful parody of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock:"

Chorus
I wanna swap! (Swap!)
I wanna swap! (Swap!)
I want to swap! (Swap!)
I wanna swap! (Swap!)
I want to swap! (Swap!)

You got a wife you say?
Well all I got to say to you
If you take my wife then I'll take yours
By the way does she do chores?

You wanna swap you say?
Well all I got to say to you
ABC has got the perfect show
So let's go! Go, go, go!

'Cause if you want to pull the spousal switcheroo
There's only one show that can make it come true

Repeat Chorus 1,000,000X

Or maybe it's the video, which is a shameless parody of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock" video. It even has Mark Metcalf! But Dee didn't show up. Instead, we're stuck with a third-rate Dee Snider impersonator. And a fifth-rate Dee Snider little person impersonator.

Here are some stills in case they yank the video from Facebook: