Don't Trust The B---- In Apartment 23: The Latest in Edgy Sitcoms

Non-white and non-skinny people not allowed in front.

It seems that sitcoms are going through a reinvention. Sitcoms of the eighties and nineties were about wacky families that despite their spats really loved each other, hilariously mismatched couples, or comedians and their mentally-challenged neighbors. Nowadays, sitcoms are going for the younger crowd, attempting to be more "edgy" and youth-focused, such as 2 Broke Girls, How I Met Your Mother, Happy Endings, Are You There, Chelsea? (wait, that's still on?), and New Girl (ditto).

So I don't know why the premise of the upcoming Don't Trust The B---- In Apartment 23 surprised me. According to ABC, the premise is:

When June moves to Manhattan for a dream job, a startling series of unexpected events leaves her in debt and out on the streets. Her luck seems to change when she lands a job at a coffee shop and moves in with her deceivingly charming new roommate, Chloe. Chloe soon swindles June out of her life savings but she and her snarky friend, James Van Der Beek, learn that just because June's naïve, she isn't stupid.

According to what's been popular lately, it's a no-brainer why this was made. However, as a viewer and potential consumer, I already find the premise tired. Firstly, New York City as the only possible premise for "hip people" to live in is a bit unoriginal; I say this as a born-and-raised New Yorker. Another metropolitan area would work just as well; they'll only have about three different sets anyhow. The "country mouse" meets "city mouse" has been done a million times. I am not expecting for a sitcom to reflect reality, but a woman who had planned on living on a Wall Street-type salary would no way in hell make it a week on a coffee shop salary. And no way in hell can pay rent in New York. If the apartment they live in is larger than my shower stall, I’m calling shenanigans.

"Lighten up! It's a sitcom! It's just for fun!"- the voices in my head.

Prepare Yourself For The Second Coming Of Van Der Beek

It wasn't too long ago that James Van Der Beek was inexplicably featured on Funny Or Die for an entire week. I should have known then that my nemesis would soon return to television. From Vulture:

Mr. James Van Der Beek is joining the cast of ABC's buzzworthy comedy pilot Don't Trust The Bitch In Apt. 23. The name of his character? James Van Der Beek.

Our spies say TV's Dawson will play a heightened version of himself, much the way Neil Patrick Harris has created his own alter ego in the Harold And Kumar franchise (and Matt LeBlanc has done recently on Episodes).

Sounds like my archenemy's back.

I'm ready to dance, Dawson. Are you?

James Van Der Beek, Asshole For Hire

I can speak from personal experience that James Van Der Beek is an asshole. But at least now he's using his dark powers for good: