The Evolution Of Nicolas Cage

Jeff Victor of Wicked Crispy released another amazing piece last week: The Evolution Of Nicolas Cage.



[More Wicked Cripsy]

Victim: Nicolas Cage's Drive Angry

Hello and welcome to Smacktalk, where each week we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the trailer for the upcoming Nicolas Cage feature Drive Angry. Hope ya love it!



Archphoenix: Isn't that Nic's car from Gone In Sixty Seconds? I wonder how many classic Nic Cage movies this will reference?

Dufmanno: I am already about to give this movie legendary status right behind Vanishing Point with this opener.

Daddy Geek Boy: Another crappy haircut. Another crappy accent. Another crappy Nic Cage movie.



Daddy Geek Boy: Movie cliche #1: Good guy walking away in slow motion from an explosion.

Dufmanno: How do you break out of hell? This movie might prove very useful for those of us who already have reservations on the bullet train.

Archphoenix: He broke out of hell? Is this Ghost Rider 2: We Couldn't Get the Rights? Wait... Did he just drive that muscle car through a burning pentagram?! AWESOME.



A Vapid Blonde: Is that a merkin on his head?

Archphoenix: Oh Nic, what's with the hair? Let it go, hon.

Daddy Geek Boy: Movie cliche #2: "You got mixed up with the wrong crowd."

Dufmanno: More cars. Big cars.

Daddy Geek Boy: Movie cliche #3: "He's got one last shot at redemption."



Chag: Why do cults always steal babies? Can't they just shoplift or something?

Dufmanno: Cults steal babies because babies don't require as much work. Duh.

Archphoenix: Kidnapping babies - Raising Arizona.



Dufmanno: The Devil's right hand man? I should know this stuff. I went to Catholic school.

A Vapid Blonde: I like how well dressed the Devil's right hand man is... shouldn't it be his left hand man though?

Archphoenix: The Devil has a bounty hunter now? Sweet!



A Vapid Blonde: Oh hey! It's me as an ass double.

Daddy Geek Boy: Megan Fox was seemingly unavailable to drape herself over the cars in this movie.

Archphoenix: Nic always gets the HOTTEST women in films - Angelina Jolie, Jessica Biel, Eva Mendes. I wonder if that's a rider in his contract?



Chag: Is that supposed to be a selling point?

Daddy Geek Boy: Chag, oddly for this movie it seems it's a bigger selling point than Nic Cage being in it.



Dufmanno: I hope someday I get to blow things up, punch Chief Swann and then get thrown out of the back of a motor home onto the hood of someone's muscle car. Do you think it will ever happen for me?



Archphoenix: Shot in 3D?! FINALLY. Nic Cage's hair coming at you in 3D! I'm in.

Daddy Geek Boy: A crappy movie shot in 3D is still a crappy movie. It just has an extra dimension of crappiness.

Dufmanno: Call me crazy, but I'm a sucker for this kind of camp. I'm in the theater on opening day!

A Vapid Blonde: I should totally be in this movie. I have a muscle car. I have guns. I am even wearing Daisy Dukes right now. And I am with Dufmanno on this one. The trailer is making me all amped up. Definitely a must see!

Top 18 Nicolas Cage Roles

After The Sorcerer's Apprentice made a somewhat disappointing $42 million in its first ten days of release, we thought it might be interesting to turn our attention to Nicolas Cage's past roles. Here are our 18 favorite Nicolas Cage roles:

18. Edward Malus, The Wicker Man
17. Smokey, Rumble Fish
16. Michael Williams, Red Rock West
15. Jack Singer, Honeymoon In Vegas
14. Sailor Ripley, Wild At Heart
13. Jack Campbell, The Family Man
12. David Spritz, The Weather Man
11. Damon Macready/Big Daddy, Kick-Ass
10. Castor Troy/Sean Archer, Face/Off
9. Charlie Kaufman/Donald Kaufman, Adaptation
8. Peter Loew, Vampire's Kiss
7. Ben Gates, National Treasure