A Heathers TV Show Would Be (Corn) Nuts

Were you a fan of Heathers? Like me, do you think Heathers is one of the greatest high school movies of all time?

Prepare to be horrified.

Bravo, the station responsible for unleashing a horde of housewives upon an unsuspecting public, is working on a modernized Heathers television show in which Veronica Sawyer's daughter finds herself in the crosshairs of a teenage mean girl circle known as The Ashleys.

No, really!

Bravo execs, if you're reading this, please don't go through with this. Leave it alone. Remake Jawbreaker instead. It's similar. Plus, I don't think anyone actually liked that movie.

But if you must go through with the Heathers remake, PLEASE cast Shannen Doherty as the mom of the head Ashley. I can't be the only one wishing to see her in something other than those damn Education Connection commercials.

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Bizarre Television Moments: The 90210 Gang Ends Racism With The Electric Slide

What was going through our heads in the nineties? I lived through it and I couldn't even tell you. One thing I do know, in hindsight, is that there was very little irony. Most television was done in earnest, and I, as a teenager, ingested it in true faith.



Nothing is more nineties than the original 90210, and this clip blows my mind. Where to begin? First, the gang hosts a dance with a neighboring urban (read: black) high school that has a history of violence. Everyone's nervous that something will go down, but David Silver raps his way in the hearts of the students. Then, why not mend race relations with the Electric Slide? Also, Brenda is wearing chunky socks with her boots. And Andrea looks about thirty-eight years old. (My favorite part is at 1:42).

May I also remind you that IRL, David Silver is Mr. Megan Fox?

On the bright side, I am thrilled that the cast is making an appearance in Old Navy commercials. Ever wonder what Brandon and Dylan would be like in their forties? Wonder no longer.



I would have and will always choose Brandon, in case you were wondering.

Brenda?

Something's wrong with this world when Shannen Doherty is the new "I may be in my pajamas right now, but I'm not going to bed" girl.



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