A Stretch Armstrong Movie? Is Hollywood Really This Desperate?

I know there must be plenty of creative and brilliant people in Hollywood, teeming with original ideas. But then I read stories like this one and it makes me think that Hollywood's originality died in 1994.

It was announced last week that Twilight's Taylor Lautner will be starring in Stretch Armstrong, an upcoming superhero flick which will tell how Stretch Armstrong came to be.

Look, you can wrap it up in any bow you choose, but the simple truth is Strech Armstrong will be a movie based on a toy.

A toy.

A toy that didn't do anything except stretch.

A toy that didn't do anything except stretch and leak some strangle jelly-like substance when you stabbed it with a ballpoint pen.

Sounds riveting, right?

Bad guys are supposed to be armed with guns, knives, witty sayings, and nuclear weapons.

Not ballpoint pens.

This would make a much better porno.


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