The 2010 MTV Movie Awards

With nothing better to do on a Sunday night, I decided to not only watch the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, but to blog my thoughts as it aired. Enjoy!

8:00 PM Do I need to do the pregame? Thoughts?

8:02 PM Ok. When does the product placement end? *cough* Jersey Shore *cough*

8:04 PM Wait? Jersey Shore has a soundtrack? It's not just Slippery When Wet?

8:09 PM Paris Hilton is a news corespondent. Say that with a straight face.

8:13 PM You know, I'm kind of glad they're getting rid of the guys.

8:16 PM MTV has a Twitter tracker. Vain bastards.

8:17 PM I'm probably the only person live blogging this. Oh well.

8:18 PM I'll pass on The Last Airbender. The first one, too.

8:19 PM Katy Perry is not naked yet. Color me disappointed. But she does have blue hair going for her, so there's that.

8:20 PM The video for "California Gurls" doesn't make me hate the song any less. It does make me hungry, though.

8:27 PM And now it's time for the Jersey Shore boys to show up.

8:34 PM I want to see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

8:35 PM Wait... they're giving out an award on the red carpet?

8:40 PM P Diddy's here. The party can officially begin.

8:41 PM They're interviewing some puppet. Unfortunately, it's neither Sifl nor Olly.

8:46 PM They're showing the first 10 minutes of the upcoming season of Jersey Shore. Nap time!

9:00 PM Finally!

9:01 PM It's going to two hours of Twilight, right?

9:03 PM I would like to see Tom Cruise do an entire film as Les Grossman.

9:05 PM And we're still doing pre-taped skits.

9:07 PM Justin Bieber. Drink.

9:11 PM Did you find any of Aziz Ansari's monologue funny?

9:12 PM Who sprayed Spade?

9:13 PM And Kristen Stewart wins Best Female Performance. SHOCKER!

9:17 PM Truth be told, The Hard Times of RJ Berger looks better than anything the MTV Movie Awards has to offer.

9:21 PM Is it too late to have Jonah Hill & Russell Brand co-host this thing?

9:23 PM Bieber reference. Drink!

9:25 PM I was hoping Zach Galifianakis would win just so he could frighten all the preteens watching right now.

9:26 PM Mike Tyson's in the audience?

9:27 PM The Ed Helms/Ken Jeong Hangover medley/interpretive dance bit is actually funny. And Tom Cruise!

9:28 PM Ok. Can Tom Cruise offically turn into Les Grossman? Can someone start a petition?

9:30 PM Or maybe he should just be a dancer? He's keeping up with J-Lo.

9:33 PM Cool. Marky Mark doing PSAs to help kids graduate.

9:34 PM Is Dinner With Schmucks going to be funny or offensive? Or a bit of both?

9:36 PM The Oscars need a Best Scared As Shit Performance.

9:37 PM Cool. 5 minutes of Harry Potter. Nap #2!

9:38 PM Ok. Either that was the quickest five minutes ever, MTV lied to me, or it was all some strange Bieber-induced dream.

9:43 PM Kiss Cam!

9:44 PM And MTV gives us Russell Brand and Jonah Hill kissing. How predictable!

9:45 PM Um, yeah. Twilight again.

9:48 PM Ok. She's not naked.

9:50 PM Russell Brand doesn't get to watch this from backstage or something?

9:52 PM You're a bunch of dirty liars, MTV. Curses!

9:53 PM Unless I got my wires crossed and it's actually Betty White who's going to be performing nude. In which case, YUM!

9:59 PM Stunt Kidz: Unfunny.

10:00 PM What the hell? Wasn't Bradley Cooper just out there five minutes ago? Or am I getting him mixed up with someone else?

10:02 PM Does the average Twilight-loving teenybopper give a damn about Betty White?]

10:06 PM I love Sandra Bullock.

10:09 PM Scarlett Johansson. Sandra Bullock. Kissing. Be back in 10 minutes.

10:15 PM Samuel L. Jackson is afraid they're going to fall on his head.

10:17 PM Confession: I think Will Ferrell is one of the funniest guys on the planet.

10:17 PM Did MTV miss censoring one of Marky Mark's fucks?

10:23 PM Is it sad that the Kia Soul hamster "You Can Get With This" commercial has been the highlight of the show for me so far?

10:23 PM Besides The Kiss, of course.

10:26 PM Or I may look at you and think, "There's Shaun White and two guys destroying my memories of The Karate Kid."

10:27 PM Biggest Badass Star? Really, MTV?

10:28 PM Rain? This guy's name is Rain?

10:28 PM I sound like I'm 80.

10:30 PM Wait. If he's a vampire, how can he be out in the daylight?

10:33 PM I love, love, love the commercial for blur. And I'm a big Mario Kart fan.

10:33 PM And from now on, I'll just blog the commercials. Cool?

10:36 PM Best Male Performance. My money's on one of the Twilight boys.

10:37 PM So Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart won the awards for their respective genders? They're like movie royalty or something!

10:39 PM Christina Aguilera!

10:39 PM She's spelling out her name? Is that really part of the lyrics?

10:43 PM I hate the medley approach to live performances. If you feel a song's not worth playing in its entirety, drop it from the set list.

10:48 PM Zach Galifianakis! And they're making fun of Bieber. Drink!

10:50 PM Best Comedic Performance. Gotta be Zach Galifianakis.

10:51 PM Come on. We've seen enough of Aziz Ansari tonight. Can't Mike Tyson accept Zach's award?

10:54 PM And the Kia Hamsters are back!

10:55 PM Unfortunately, so are the Jersey Shore people.

10:58 PM Not to sound catty, but what in the hell is Cameron Diaz wearing?

10:59 PM And the "show me the money" heckler gets more of a laugh from the crowd than anything Aziz Ansari did.

11:00 PM And Twilight wins best movie. IMAGINE THAT, KIDS!

11:01 PM Bieber reference in the acceptance speech. Drink!

11:02 PM Show's over. Thanks for hanging out with me. What did we learn? Tom Cruise can still act. MTV likes vampires. Aziz Ansari isn't very funny. And Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansson can kiss.

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