Victim: M. Night Shyamalan's Devil Trailer

Hello and welcome to Smacktalk, our newest feature at Culture Brats! Each week, we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the trailer for Devil. Hope ya love it!

Chag: Don't go into the light, Carol Anne! (0:10)

Archphoenix: Because upside down is heavy-handed symbolism for "this is going to turn your life upside down." Thanks, film people! (0:13)

Daddy Geek Boy: Is everything upside down or did I drink too much cough syrup again? (0:17)

Mamatulip: Token hot chick? Check. (0:19)

Archphoenix: I've seen horror movies. When you proclaim your innocence in a breezy "Who me?" way, you're usually the killer. Mystery solved, 19 seconds into the trailer! (0:19)

Mamatulip: Token security guard? Check. (0:21)

Daddy Geek Boy: And that right there is a security guard who cares. (0:25)

Tania: This is not helping my vertigo. (0:30)

Mamatulip: Those upside-down metropolis shots are getting kind of annoy-- Whoa, is that Shirley MacLaine? (0:35)

Dufmanno: That would be substitute Shirley MacLaine: half the sugar, none of the multiple lifetimes. (:35)

Dufmanno: Hey the elevator is opening! Why don't you guys get in and spend a few hours of mental and physical torture trying to weed out the evil passenger? That would be a GREAT plot for a movie! Wait, no. (0:36)

Mamatulip: Token businessman? Check. (0:43)

Mamatulip: Token creepy guy in bulky jacket? Check. (0:50)

Tania: Is this a horror flick or a Six Flags ride? (0:55)

The Weirdgirl: You know when words fly at me? It makes me REALLY think about them! (0:57)

Dufmanno: Goin' down. Having taken two film history classes, I'm calling that foreshadowing. (0:58)

Daddy Geek Boy: It's right about now that I desperately mourn the death of the trailer announcer guy. (1:00)

Tania: "This is not good"? You know your movie is going down the crapper when even your fictional characters are giving bad reviews. (1:05)

Dufmanno: No, it's NOT good. But if you were a Star Wars fan you would have quipped "I've got a bad feeling about this." (1:06)

A Vapid Blonde: "WHATS HAPPENING?" "Nothing, just relax." Actually, no that is not a roll of quarters in my pocket and why yes I AM happy to see you. (1:14)

Mamatulip: I was wondering when the lights would go out. (1:15)

Mamatulip: The token hot chick isn't wearing a bra. (1:24)

Dufmanno: Already I don't like the "something bit me" girl. She has my vote for suspect #1. (1:28)

Tania: I think it's the old lady. With the knife. In the elevator. (1:29)

The Weirdgirl: You're right, it is the old lady. When I'm a cranky old lady, I'm totally going to bite annoying hot chicks. (Olay's Age Defying cream my ass!) (1:29)

A Vapid Blonde: "Does anyone have anything sharp on them?" Like razor sharp intellect perhaps? (1:30)

A Vapid Blonde: Uh, if they search my pockets they might find my sock monster. (1:34)

Dufmanno: Yeah, she's annoying. (1:46)

Dufmanno: Remind me the next time I'm riding in an elevator that I should bring my very long, very dangerous knife just in case a West Side Story standoff breaks out. (1:48)

Archphoenix: Seriously, where did the giant knives come from? Oh, New York. (1:48)

A Vapid Blonde: So who is going to turn out to be a drag queen or a clown? Now that would be scary. (1:50)

Dufmanno: You know one of these guys is going to turn out to be a closet mime. It makes total sense: trapped in a box, can't get out. (1:50)

A Vapid Blonde: You are so right, so this whole movie is actually a sad story about the tortured soul of a mime waiting to cross over to hell because all mimes go to hell. (1:50)


A Vapid Blonde: Aw, how cute. They all decided to take a bloody nap together. (1:51)

Mamatulip: Token panty, panicky breathing? Check. (1:59)

A Vapid Blonde: Okay, okay we get it. You're scared. But could you save the heavy breathing for another kind of movie? (1:59)

Archphoenix: Mmm... gratuitous cleavage shot. So far we're hitting all of the horror movie cliches! (2:01)

Chag: Given his recent record, referring to it as "A new nightmare from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" probably isn't the best idea. (2:08)

Dufmanno: Using his soiled reputation is probably better than saying "from the minds of two virtually unknown directors and a scriptwriter who have been existing only on Cheetos and soda for ten years." On IMDb it says only the "story idea" was his. (2:08)

Archphoenix: Based on the reaction from the Scott Pilgrim crowd I saw this trailer with, people were into the trailer UNTIL M. Night's name popped up. Then, I kid you not, most of the audience either groaned or outright booed. On the heels of Last Airbender, M. Night should go into hiding for a while. Or work on Unbreakable 2. HINT HINT. (2:08)

Dufmanno: After repeated viewings, I think I have actually figured out the plot twist since I'm now convinced that the movie characters are whispering information in my ear. Either that or the subliminal messages are seeping in like Fight Club. (2:14)

Dufmanno: I was RIGHT. Express elevator to hell. Next stop, third circle. (2:16)

A Vapid Blonde: The token hot chick needs to shut up. I blame her, it's all her fault. (2:20)

A Vapid Blonde: Uh dude? You can blow out that match now. I did not need to see that! (2:21)

Dufmanno: Elevator mummy. Well, partial elevator mummy at least. Either that or it's a very poor field dressing for the head of one of the passengers who got stuck in the wall. That makes no sense. (2:21)

The Weirdgirl: Green elevators: now made from recycled Egyptian tombs! Curses sold separately. (2:21)

Chag: No! It's not an elevator mummy, it's one of those aliens from Signs. Just douse him with water and fade to black. (2:22)

Daddy Geek Boy: Haven't I seen this shot in just about every single other horror movie for the past 15 years? (2:23)

Mamatulip: Yeah, I'll definitely see this. (2:26)

Chag: You know, I think what we're all missing here is why would the devil ride an elevator? You know he's got a sweet jet pack or something. (2:27)

Daddy Geek Boy: And this concludes the trailer for another movie I don't want to see. (2:30)

A Vapid Blonde: I think I may vomit from all the upside down, falling, flashing lights crap. (2:30)

The Weirdgirl: For the $20 bucks it would cost for a ticket, I'm pretty sure I can get a security guard to lock me in an elevator and flick the lights on and off for a couple of hours. (2:30)

Archphoenix: I noticed at the end that there was a URL posted: I just went to that and it says, basically, that Devil is the first in a series of "supernatural thrillers" where Night will conceive the story but other people will put them to film. I like that Night's an optimist. (2:30)

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