Victim: Katy Perry And Elmo, "Hot And Cold"

Hello and welcome to Smacktalk, where each week we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the video for Katy Perry and Elmo's smokin' new duet, "Hot And Cold." Hope ya love it!

Dufmanno: HELLO! Any viewers still breastfeeding are going to have a Pavlovian response right here.

Daddy Geek Boy: Actually Dufmanno, Katy seems a little more um… bound than she normally does.

Daddy Geek Boy: You know, Katy actually looks kind of like a Muppet.

Archphoenix: She does look like a Muppet. An empty-brained Muppet with really big expressive eyes. And big... uh, yeah.

Didactic Pirate: I already feel dirty watching this.

Daddy Geek Boy: I'm not questioning Elmo's sexuality, but if Katy Perry asks you to play, you say, "Yes!"

Dufmanno: No Katie, Elmo doesn't want to play. You are making him uncomfortable and he keeps having to avert his eyes from your magnificent breasts.

Didactic Pirate: If she breaks out the whipped cream spewing bra, I'm calling Child Protective Services. Or Childlike Monster Protective Services.

Archphoenix: I like that the VEIL is the only part of her outfit that's for dress up.

Chag: An Oscar-caliber performance: Angry Katy Perry!

Didactic Pirate: Oh. Oh. Oh. This is not ok.

Chag: Electric Company flashbacks! Make them stop! St! Op! Stop!

The Weirdgirl: Dressing up like a baby doesn't make you innocent, Katy. That ship has sailed.

Didactic Pirate: Elmo's up and Elmo's down! Or maybe Elmo just has a funny new feeling in his furry pants.

Dufmanno: Okay, is this a joke? A vigorous jogging scene in glorified lingerie? The high school soccer team used to sit on the hill while we ran laps DREAMING of this kind of bounce.

Daddy Geek Boy: It's this kind of scene that makes me really happy that my kids love watching Sesame Street.

Chag: You know, if they showed more pretty women running in low-cut dresses, I might still be watching Sesame Street.

Chag: Oscar with a cameo!

Chag: Or maybe he's checking out her ass?

Daddy Geek Boy: He's definitely checking out her ass. Oscar's a perv!

Dufmanno: The confused Dalmatian makes another appearance. I suspect he might be trying to put a stop to this.

The Weirdgirl: Should they be hanging out in alleyways like this? Oh wait, they just passed a recycling bin. That makes it OK. Not at all like those other women who hang out in alleys.

Didactic Pirate: "Elmo! Don't you want to play?" Geez, she's needy. Take the hint, Katy. Go back to Candyland.

Daddy Geek Boy: I've been playing a lot of Candyland lately and trust me, Princess Frostine has nothing on Katy.

Didactic Pirate: Actually, I think I like this version better than the original. Maybe she should put Elmo in her "Teenage Dream" video.

Daddy Geek Boy: Excuse me while I send my kids out of the room and watch this video again.

If you have any suggestions for upcoming SmackTalk victims, send them our way!

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