Hellcats: "Think Twice Before You Go"

This episode was loaded and I am not just referring to Savannah being loaded and almost getting date raped, but that is something that totally almost happened three-quarters of the way through. Way to take a good ole barbecue hoedown and turn it into an after school drama! Right in the middle of everything going according to plan. The Hellcats all go to a barbecue festival to blow off the oodles of steam that has been accumulating all week and to paraphrase Alice as she grinds her way off screen... the Hellcats show them how to thrown down at a hoedown. Savannah wins the dance contest and gives Marti the five hundred dollar cash prize (cue ominous music... dun, dun, dunnnnnn!) and nabs the attention of the emcee of the dance contest. (cue ominous music again) But before she goes and gets all drunk and slutty, she says a good night to her pregnant sister who mentions she's not feeling well. (cue ominous music one more time and probably not the last)

Flash back to the beginning of the episode and Marti tells Dan that she is really, really, really and I mean really not interested in him. So he gets up and walks away and then Marti calls after him twice but apparently Dan has stuffed a bunch of cotton balls in his ears because he just walks farther and farther away until the scene changes. Savannah is still all bent out of shape that Dan dumped her and is trying to focus mainly on nationals that are coming up in like two days while Marti is trying to forget how bothered she is that Dan actually did walk away when she told him to. Boys... pfft!

Alice's football star boyfriend Jakey could get drafted if only Bill Marsh, head of the athletic department, would agree. But Bill needs Jakey and then shows Jakey some kind of home porn movie the two of them made together. Actually I made the porn part of it up, but with the way Bill keeps calling him Jakey, it's really the only thing I could come up with that would make sense on the DVD because Jakey dates Alice and what could be more humiliating that a girlfriend who's lady bits have been flashed all around the campus, Internet, and his face?

As part of the Hellcats' punishment for being cheerleaders in general, they have to go hand out tickets to all of the athletic departments major sponsors for some kind of event I think they called a booster, but only the female Hellcats get to go so yeah I think they probably get a bunch of dollahs stuffed in their cheer skirts at these events. What does this have to do with anything? Well, I forgot to mention that sometime ago Marti and her law class partner both got their laptops stolen after digging for dirt on the case of the wrongly convicted convict she is trying to free and it just so happens that Marti is assigned to bump and grind at the furniture store owned by the guy she thinks stole the laptops. And in fact he did steal her classmate's laptop that Marti found but was also discovered by the owner as she escaped out of window with it.

Flash forward, back to the hoedown: Alice is confronted by Nasty Cathy from the rival Christian cheer squad and passes on information that Alice could use to take down Savannah. Marti realizes Savannah is missing. Savannah is about to get date raped in the emcee's car. But here she comes to save the day, Marti Mouse is on the way. Yes Marti, frantically bangs on the guy's window to convince him to roll it down and maces him, which for the life of me I can't figure out where the hell she had that mace tucked away in her little outfit. Savannah escapes the clutches of the evil emcee but gets all down on herself about how messed up she is. Dan left her, she almost gets date raped... blah blah blah. This makes Marti go off and tell her that Dan has the hots for her and that's why he dumped her, which I thought wasn't the most comforting approach, through tears of regret of course and in front of the entire cheer squad. Including Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn who agrees with Marti that yes she made mistake with Dan and so did he make a mistake with her. *OH SNAP*

And just like that everything has changed. Dan, gone. Marti, alone. Savannah, pissed off. Alice, scheming. Well Alice is always scheming, so some things stayed the same.

The Hellcats set off to go to nationals, however we won't find out what happens until next year as the show is taking breather until January 2011! It's going to be a cold hard winter with out our sexy cheer time.

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