Hellcats: "God Must Have My Fortune Laid Away"

So, I guess I am just missing something here about God and cheerleading because I don't quite see the correlation. Probably because when I was a cheerleader, God never had a plan for me and well, my cheerleading days were kept to a minimum. Does it seem odd to anyone that this show blends so much religion in with things like sex and drugs and toga parties? Oh yes, we had the requisite college toga party thrown by the Hellcats on a whim because the life they know at Lancer could all come crashing down since Marti is on her way to setting up an elaborate scheme to save Travis The Wrongly Convicted Convict. But in the meantime, let's party like it's 1986 in togas, togas, togas!

Only this college toga party has a costume department, event lighting people, and professional entertainment. Not quite like the toga parties of my day where we did keg stands and the sheets were decidedly not all that white anymore and the lighting looked like it was purchased at Spencer's Gifts.

Marti along with Julian the law professor, her class partner Morgan, Vanessa and Red concoct a plan to get Jakey Poo to confess so as to keep Lancer football and the Hellcats alive and it fails. Jakey Poo does not go for the plan and is kind of okay with screwing everyone over in order to keep him self out of jail. I'm guessing he has something against showering in prison.

A crestfallen Marti shows up at the toga party hauling a pint of JD or something and tells Alice that it's all over. The Hellcats are doomed. Doomed forever. Unless of course Alice whips out her junk and flashes it all about Jake's face and that is exactly what she does. Kind of. Well not really at all actually, but that is what she should have done but no. She finds him at the football field and says a bunch of blah, blah, blah to him. He ignores her until she asks him if he believes in God. No, really! She does and this was when my head burst into flames because really? Alice used the word God and believe in the same sentence and she was not struck down. Instead Jake asks her to pray with him.

To. Pray. With. Him.

Not play with him and this is where this episode lost me. Because it all worked and he confessed and boom: Travis is free. Jake goes to jail. Bill Marsh is "coerced" into retirement. Everybody gathers around a campfire and sings Kumbaya while holding hands and wearing ponchos. Or they may have just sang Bob Marley's Redemption Song at Cheer Town while Wanda gave Travis The Now Free To Shag Ex-Convict the eyeballs of love.

And they all live happily ever after. Let's hope next week they all get back to some sexy cheer time.

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