Spring Is In the Air, and Up Your Shorts

Don't you feel the warm, golden sunshine, and hear the twittering of birds while you're sniffing the first of the spring flowers? Yeah, me neither. So of course trying to survive the blustery cold weather is the perfect time to think about shorts!

Two hot trends for shorts right now are.... wait for it... leather and lace! (Damn it, Madonna, this is all your fault.) Now I'm sure in the secret mountaintop lair where fashion designers meet to sip Manhattans and discuss upcoming apparel as a takeover strategy (oh, you know they do it), shorts in unconventional fabrics sounded like a fabulous idea. "Oh dahling! It will be so chic! Leather will elevate the whole outfit! And the masses could certainly use some elevating! *titter titter*" It's not even as if I've never seen a pair of leather or lace shorts done well. (I just won't be grabbing a pair to chase my kid around in anytime soon.) But in the end it is always those few pieces that make even Fashion (capital F) look back and say, "What were we thinking?"

Leather running shorts. Can't you just see Richard Simmons wearing these for those dressier workouts?

So of course, Jennifer Lopez went right out and bought a pair.

Granny is looking pretty sexy, too.

You know who's really embraced the lace look? The Flying Nun. (Is it just me or is she missing some nipples?)

My bloomers are extra fancy! Shiny, poufy material on the hips... yep, those will minimize wide areas.

Does anybody really need underwear?

And of course, what would baggy be without some fringe?

I feel elevated.

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