In The Continuing Quest To Erase Schwarzenegger Films

Arnold Schwarzenegger may now be battling divorce attorneys instead of vicious killers, but his legacy lives on in the form of remakes. First Conan, then Total Recall, and now in the pipeline is a remake of Commando. A script exists and was written by David Ayer, the man who wrote the scripts for Training Day and the original The Fast And The Furious flick. So we know the dude can write a decent action film.

Here's my idea: the commando (Chris Hemsworth (Thor) who is shirtless the WHOLE TIME) has to rescue his daughter, who is played by Miley Cyrus. But instead of saving her at the end, she's sadly knocked off the top of a really tall building and plummets to hear death. Turns out, it's the top of a concert hall and it's the end of a Justin Bieber concert. She falls on top of Justin as he's leaving the stage door and they both go splat. The end fades to black with the sound of wailing 12 year old girls as the credits roll. Cuz that movie I'd watch. Any other Commando remake? Lame. It's just not that great of a film and the only reason it was watchable was because of Arnold.

Recently on Twitter someone pointed out that Peter Dinklage and Hugh Laurie kind of have a similar vibe and look and mannerisms. Here's my idea: Peter Dinklage and Hugh Laurie remake Twins. If I had any kind of Photoshop skills I'd make that poster. (Brats - feel free to take a crack at it.) And Hollywood, when this project inevitably happens, you saw it here first and I want $1 million dollars for the idea.


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