Can The Italian Stallion Sing And Dance?

It's bad enough that Hollywood has run out of ideas and is remaking everything in sight but Broadway's been on a trend of musical-fying movies as stage shows lately. Legally Blonde: The Musical. Xanadu: The Musical (on roller skates!). Hairspray. The Producers. Catch Me If You Can (currently on Broadway). The infamous Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark (cuz superheroes are so in right now). Next up?

Rocky: The Musical.

I'm not even kidding.

This part of the article absolutely made me howl with laughter:

"At first I thought, all the world needs is a Rocky musical," Mr. Meehan said. "But then I looked at the film. I thought it had beautiful construction and such high emotion, and it was a natural musical: There is a David and Goliath story, a Cinderella story, a love story between two outcasts. It's less about boxing than about finding self-respect and finding your soul mate."

It's so true, all the world needs is a Rocky musical. I'd pay money to see Rocky III as a musical. Between "Eye of the Tiger" and Mr. T, you've got a show I'm telling ya. Or Rocky IV, the epic Russian duel? It'd be like Chess but with boxers instead of, you know, chess players. I bet Dolph Lundgren and Brigitte Nielsen are available to reprise their roles. And I bet they can get that guy from ABBA to do another score. (Yo Sly, I thought of this first, I want a cut of the back-end here!)

I sincerely doubt that "Adriiiiiian!" is the new "Stellllllla!" but we'll see. Sly's on board as a producer and whatnot since he wrote and owns Rocky so I think this oughta be fun. And by "fun" I mean "terrible." But think of the montage, live and on stage.

Now I just want to see the musical version of The Expendables and I can die a happy woman.

Any ideas for other movies that Broadway oughta snap up? Come on, bring the snark, I know you Brats have it in you.

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