
Anyway, after all this our fearless leader and ace investigative reporter Chag, uncovered (okay he just read it on the internet) this glittering gem of vital importance via The Guardian:
ICP are evangelical Christians. (?) (!)
All that cursing, talking about hos, rape, and murder was a ploy to pique your interest so you could uncover the REAL message lurking right below the murky surface of the toxic sludge-filled body of water that surrounds Juggalo Island.
It's all about God.
What?
Is this their Dallas moment where everyone comes back from a summer of reruns and unimaginable tension, only to find out that Bobby Ewing is NOT dead and that the whole previous season was in fact a big stupid disappointing time waster of a dream?
We've been duped!
I am wearing my sad clown face now mostly because greasepaint is running down my cheeks with the tracks of the tears caused by this revelation.
Sorry, ICP. I had 12 years of nuns that used rulers as advanced weaponry so nothing can top the shock and terror of those life lessons, but I wait with bated breath to see how this pans out for you.
If you need me I'll be on my aluminum fold-out chair watching the sunset on Juggalo Island.
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