SmackTalk Victim: Ke$ha, "We R Who We R"

Hello and welcome to SmackTalk, where each week we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the video for Ke$ha's "We R Who We R." Hope ya love it!

Didactic Pirate: I feel like the message of every Ke$ha song is: "Screw you, Mom. Like, when I'm 18? I'm like, soooooo getting my own apartment."

Daddy Geek Boy: I want to comment on this video, but I can't get past her '80s style bedazzled eyebrows. They're freaking me out!

Chag: This is like Mad Max meets Xanadu. Which sounds a lot hotter in my head than what I'm seeing.

Dufmanno: Her glass shard ensemble looks like what would have happened if she were wearing a mirror and I punched her in the gut.

Chag: Someone tell her neck-uh-lace only has two syllables.

Dufmanno: I had the same issue with the pronunciation of neck-UH-lace. Except I went for help with this terrible problem and was cured of my need to massacre innocent words

A Vapid Blonde: Uh that neck-uh-lace, lace laz is an earring ring, ring!

Dufmanno: Is SEXYFIED even real word?

Dufmanno: Because this video is so bad, my mind has begun to wander and I've got to tell you this tunnel looks like the same one that the Terminator chased Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor through at the end of the movie. Now THAT movie was great. This? Not so much.

Dufmanno: She is wearing metallic Chicklets glued to her nails? There's just so much wrong that the neural pathways in my head are starting to short circuit.

The Weirdgirl: With the stud eyebrows and nugget nails, would you hit that, guys? Would you hit it HARD?

The Weirdgirl: BTW, Lady Gaga wants her clothes back. But you go on being who you R.

Chag: Your dancing isn't the only thing that's dumb, dear.

Didactic Pirate: Tomorrow's headline: "Teen dance party causes traffic jam in Holland tunnel. Onlooking drivers cheer as fast-moving semi clears path by mowing down youths."

Dufmanno: So see, here's the problem: you WON'T be "forever young" and that's where the part about career longevity and talent comes in.

Didactic Pirate: Wait a minute... is Ke$ha not wearing her Purity ring? Shocking.

Didactic Pirate: The DJ is perusing her online dating prospects. Which makes sense. It's so hard for a hot 20 year-old in shredded clothing to meet new people.

Dufmanno: O.K. What does Plenty Of Fish have to do with this song? Nothing.

Daddy Geek Boy: Plenty of Fish is a good name for a band though.

The Weirdgirl: Hi, I'm Ke$ha and I approve of drinking while online dating. Because that always turns out well.

Chag: You don't think Tequila Revolucion paid for these gratuitous close-ups, do you?

Dufmanno: Ech, Tequila. I had a great relationship with him until I dug a hole at the beach one day , threw him up, and buried him.

Chag: What the hell's up with the close-up of the watch? More product placement?

The Weirdgirl: Was that Madonna's watch? Warning to pop stars: don't leave Ke$ha alone in your closet.

Didactic Pirate: Was that a Swatch?

The Weirdgirl: Smurfette! You're so sexy.

Didactic Pirate: This chick has so much auto-tune on her voice she sounds like WOPR from War Games. "Would. You. Like. To. Play. A. Game?"

A Vapid Blonde: Ah, I get it now. The glitter is so heavy on her lips that she can't smile. Poor sad pouty Ke$ha.

Dufmanno: Is there any way to have this video banned based on the fact that she's wearing a torn up American Flag?

A Vapid Blonde: Please, please, please say this is the end of the video.

A Vapid Blonde: Damn, saved by a rip in the time space continuum.

The Weirdgirl: Is she still alive?

A Vapid Blonde: It's like "fronts" for your eyebrows. I do see this trend catching on, really I do.

Daddy Geek Boy: I'm not a fan of Ke$ha or this video, but I will be singing this damn song for the rest of the day.

A Vapid Blonde: Well it's better than the "Your Love is My Drug" video, which made me want to pour gasoline on my screen and light it on fire.

The Weirdgirl: Can we make a CB video? We can throw glue and glitter on each other. Jump up and down. Here's some lyrics: We'll be forever young with hot pants up our bum / All dance and drink, (robot voice) we won't go extinct. Chorus: Jump, $tump, rump hump and pump! repeat!

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