Hellcats: "Don't Make Promises"

So there are a few story lines in this episode. There is the issue with the song the Hellcats are using for Nationals that is supposed to be exclusive but the Cyclones (Memphis Christians) are also using and it is from a band named Werewolves Vs. Unicorns. There is the Red and Vanessa unrequited love story. There is the issue of who is Charlotte the Harlot's baby father and there is Marti pushing Wanda to to tell her about her father.

Let's see if I can wrap this up in a neat little package.

The song needs to be exclusively used by either the Hellcats or the Cyclones so Alice goes to find the band and so does Nasty Cathy. Which ends up in them having a cheer off for the band. Only no one followed the rules and all the cheerleaders wore underwear, even Alice and because of that, the band fell asleep after they all got high to watch the cheer off. I'm kind of tired of all of these little competitions. But what I am not tired of is the sexy cheer time and this part of the episode was full of it. Except they all had underwear on. In the end both, squads tell the band to get off the high horse they rode in on, or in this case, the unicorn they road in on and neither use the annoying song.

Vanessa and Red have cocktails together which does not lead to sex. Then the next morning they have coffee which does lead to sex. At least that's what I think happened after Red leaned in for a kiss with the look of a feral animal hungry for love.

Savannah discovers that Charlotte the Harlot's baby father is Noah, Savannah's ex-boyfriend, and they plan on getting married and living happily ever after. Until Savanna confronts Noah who confesses to Savannah that she is actually the Christian sister he really wants to bang but will do right by Charlotte the Harlot. Savannah only has to say the words. "Please go ruin my sister's life a little more with my blessing." Of course she does no such thing and tells Charlotte The Harlot that she is not all that and that she better dump Noah. Pronto. And she does.

Marti throws a couple of temper tantrums when she realizes that Wanda has been opening up to Travis The-Now-Free-To-Shag-Ex-Convict about Marti's father who Marti knows nothing about. Marti does what any young adult would do. She rummages through Wanda's closets and finds some of her father's belongings, takes them home, and goes through them only to discover that apparently her father was a hobo. Yup, pretty sure he road the rails strummin' a guitar with a little hobo hat and worn leather suitcase with a panhandling sign that said something like "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?" and of course Marti puts on the hobo hat and tries to channel her father by playing his music.

And that is all, until Tuesday April 19th when the show returns with all new episodes. I think I am on season three now. It's either that or this is the longest season on the face of the planet. So far we are seventeen episodes down. Seventeen!

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