Apparently, New Hearts Cost A Lot Of Money

Hello, Bret!

Look, I know you've had a hell of a year with the emergency appendectomy, the brain hemorrhage, the stroke, and the hole in your heart. I'm sure you've spent four times as much on hospital bills that normal rock stars spend on hookers and blow.

But you also won last year's Celebrity Apprentice. You were on American Idol. You have a tour this summer with Motley Crue.

I'm sure you're not hurting for money.

So why this?

I know, I know. You're not the only guilty party here. There are also tracks originally performed by Bad English, Cheap Trick, Cinderella, Damn Yankees, Firehouse, Guns N' Roses, Motley Crue, The Scorpions, Skid Row, Tesla, Warrant, White Lion, and Whitesnake.

But you're the only one actually performing on the album!

I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time: "Yes! Me and my daughters can cover 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn.' I'll play guitar and Raine and Jorja can sing!" A little Daddy-daughter quality time is always a good thing.

But think of the fans, Bret!

Think of the fans!

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