Page Turner Gift Guide

Sick and tired of donning the hazmat suit and goggles needed for trips to the mall? We've all grown weary of the post-apocalyptic dreamscape that is our current reality and that is why we're helping transport you to a time when your biggest worries were the height of your hair and if your legwarmers matched your sweater.   This holiday season we've picked a crop of 80s themed books that are guaranteed to bring you back to a simpler time when we could only imagine the world we live in as the plot of a bad sci-fi movie.

Brat: An 80's Story, by Andrew McCarthy

A fascinating memoir with a peek behind the scenes for those of us curious about what it was like to come of age in the midst of the infamous "brat back". If you caught yourself pining for the soulful-looking McCarthy as a zit-covered teenager, this is the guilty pleasure read for you.

Life & Death on the NY Dance Floor 1980-1983, by Tim Lawrence

If you want a no holds barred look at the New York dance scene, the clubs that made the news, and the DJ's that made them the place to be, then this blast from the past will send you right back to that extremely unique time in New York City history. This fertile artistic and creative timeframe spawned some of the best stories of New York nightlife culture and the people behind it. 

In between Days: The Cure In Photographs 1982-2005, by Tom Sheehan

The audience for this one might be a little slimmer (ie; Cure fans) but if you want a comprehensive visual history of the band shot by a photographer who worked with them over three decades, then this is for you. An extra bonus for longtime followers is some never-before-seen pics and a forward by Robert Smith himself.

Wild and Crazy Guys: How the Comedy Mavericks of the '80s Changed Hollywood Forever, by Nick de Semlyen

If you were a child of the 80s, you grew up on the comedy and films of Belushi, Chase, Murray, Aykroyd, Murphy, Martin, etc, and they eventually helped create the movies and tv that became the cultural touchstones of our generation. This is an honest, warts and all love letter to our favorite funny men and their work. Any book that starts off with a fistfight between two comedy legends is on my must-have list. 

Life Moves Pretty Fast: The Lessons We Learned from 80s Movies, by Hadley Freeman

Looking for inspiration and a guide for rewatching all the magical movies that shaped you into the human being you are today? Stop searching because Hadley Freeman has a comprehensive, well-researched book that includes lists, interviews, social commentary, and personal anecdotes to help drive home exactly why the movies that hit so hard three decades ago are still must-watch cinema for so many of us. Stop pretending you didn't lister to Ferris. take a day off, steal your best friend's dad's car and spend the day in the city as a teenager and order this immediately. 

Nöthin But A Good Time: The Uncensored History of the 80s Hard Rock Explosion, by Tom Beaujour 

And finally, for our hard-rocking hair metal fans, here is the over-the-top history of the 80s heavy metal explosion that came to define a decade of excess and the overuse of hairspray.  A frothy walk back through the era that helped everyone forget the blandness of their everyday existence and step into the glory years of leather, big hair, and screeching guitars. 

Top 20 Movies Of 1983 (Nos. 1-5)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite movies from 1983. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!

Here are Nos. 1-5:

5. Trading Places

Trading Places is a comedy that gets everything right: from the pitch perfect teaming of Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd to a stellar secondary cast to director John Landis at the top of his game. There's so much to love about this movie that it's hard to pick out favorite moments. But the indelible image from the movie (outside of Jamie Lee Curtis's topless scene) is Eddie Murphy scooting around, trying to con anyone and everyone. 48 Hrs. might have made Eddie Murphy a movie actor, but Trading Places made him a mega star. Trading Places isn't just a classic '80s movie, it's one of the best comedies ever.--Daddy Geek Boy

Top 20 Movies Of 1983 (Nos. 6-10)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite movies from 1983. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!

Here are Nos. 6-10:

10. The Meaning Of Life

The timeless absurdity of Monty Python was honed to a sharp point by the time The Meaning Of Life came out in 1983. The Pythons always had an innate ability to step back and see the ridiculousness of human behavior and take it to its silliest extremes, and given a decent budget they did not hold back. It's justly remembered for the greatest vomit scene in movie history ("Better get a bucket. I'm going to throw up") and the Catholic theme song "Every Sperm Is Sacred," but there are a million moments in the movie that are not only laugh-out-loud funny but useful lessons for my daily life. I always ask doctors if they have "the machine that goes 'PING!'" especially if I've just eaten the salmon mousse. I've never filled out a liver donor card, and I also think people don't wear enough hats. Most importantly, I'm often warned of the importance of a kiss before I "stamped towards the clitoris." You see, movies can be educational, too!--CroutonBoy

Top 20 Movies Of 1983 (Nos. 11-15)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite movies from 1983. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!

Here are Nos. 11-15:

15. Octopussy

There are few who would argue that Roger Moore's later James Bond films were among the best. But a Bond film is a Bond film, and you can always depend on the world's greatest secret agent to provide gorgeous women, killer chase scenes, and over-the-top villains. Octopussy slips into the Bond canon with the comfort of a perfectly tailored tux, saving the world from nuclear terrorists and circus knife-throwers (of course!), and throwing himself safely off airplanes just before they crash. I'm James Bond, bitch! The Cold War intrigue may be a little dated and the lead actor a little creaky, but you can't deny that Octopussy gives its all for the spy movie fan.--CroutonBoy

Top 20 Movies Of 1983 (Nos. 16-20)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our favorite movies from 1983. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!

Here are Nos. 16-20:

20. Christine

Christine is about a murderous, jealous, '50s-music loving... car. Yes, like with a lot of horror movies, one needs a heavy dose of suspension of disbelief to enjoy this film. But if you can get past the fact that a '58 Plymouth Fury loves and will do anything for her teenage owner (even kill his tormentors), you're in for one hell of a ride.--Chris

Top 20 Movies Of 1982 (Nos. 1-5)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to Rank our Top 20 Movies of 1982. Can you guess what #1 is? Let us know if we got it right!

Here are Nos. 1-5:

5. Fast Times At Ridgemont High

Several things make Fast Times one of the best movies of 1982, first being the incredible cast they assembled for the film: Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Forest Whitaker, Judge Reinhold, Anthony Edwards, Eric Stoltz, and Nicolas Cage (billed as Nicolas Coppola). And that's not even counting the talent behind the camera, director Amy Heckerling and screenwriter Cameron Crowe. Every single one of these people went on to have great careers in Hollywood, racking up five Oscars between them.

Another reason this movie leaves its counterparts in the dust is the story: this movie is about teenagers doing teenagery things, hanging out at the mall, working, trying to lose their virginity, dealing with teachers, peer pressure, etc. The kids in Fast Times were real teenagers with real problems. They were beautiful, emotional, and flawed, like we all were when we were young.

And the Phoebe Cates film scene was pretty freaking great, too.--Chris

Top 20 Movies Of 1982 (Nos. 6-10)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to Rank our Top 20 Movies of 1982. Can you guess what #1 is? Let us know if we got it right!

Here are Nos. 6-10:

10. Annie

I LOVE this movie! I love it with squeeing girl passion that I should be slightly embarrassed about (but I'm not). There's a red-headed orphan, there is singing, there is adventure, there is Annie kicking boys' butts and foiling evil plots. It's like a feminist statement wrapped in pro-capitalism propaganda while wearing mink and doing fabulous high-kicks. But I'm not gonna lie, my absolute favorite part of this movie is always Carol Burnett's Miss Hannigan! She shined so much in her role as the dictatorial head of the orphanage that she made me aspire to be slightly sodden and dripping in flapperesque accessories. I really wanted to learn what gin was because of her. (And you thought it was a family film.) You love her even when you hate her and that is one strong performance. She wasn't the only strong cast member: Tim Curry, Bernadette Peters, Albert Finney, and of course, Aileen Quinn as Annie, the line-up was pretty amazing and I think they made one amazing film.--The Weirdgirl

Top 20 Movies Of 1982 (Nos. 11-15)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to Rank our Top 20 Movies of 1982. Can you guess what #1 is? Let us know if we got it right!

Here are Nos. 11-15:

15. First Blood

First Blood is the story of a Vietnam Vet played by Sylvester Stallone who is wrongly jailed by a jerk cop. He escapes to a nearby woods and starts killing off the cops one by one. But you want to know what I remember most from that movie?

The knife.

It was this H-U-G-E knife with a compass at the end and a hollowed-out handle that held a needle and thread, fishing line and a hook, a mini-fridge, and other items. And soon after the movie's release, they were all the rage at the local flea market. Somehow, I talked my mother into buying me one, under the guise that I needed it for my tackle box. Apparently, I was fishing for Great White sharks and not rainbow trout.--Chris

Top 20 Movies Of 1982 (Nos. 16-20)

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to Rank our Top 20 Movies of 1982. Can you guess what #1 is? Let us know if we got it right!

Here are Nos. 16-20:

20. Pink Floyd: The Wall

It seemed that every dorm room I ever walked into in college had a Pink Floyd poster on the wall. It was like they came pre-decorated. Floyd's combination of sonic experimentation and thematic complexity seems perfectly in synch with the identity struggles inherent in coming of age, and their Wagnerian tendencies certainly fed my own overblown self-importance at that age. So it's no surprise that Pink Floyd: The Wall has a special place in my heart; it's both a time capsule and a spectacular over-the-top exploration of narcissism and loneliness. Granted, the film isn't subtle with its metaphors--marching hammers right out of a Nazi propaganda film, and a couple of flowers that could make an appearance in a Sex Ed class if they didn't end up sprouting teeth at the end--but I love how the music and film sees no distinction between life's minor injustices and the grand failures of modern society. Pink Floyd; The Wall is trippy as shit, probably best enjoyed on hallucinogens, and marvelously gives visual form to one of the great musical experiences of our generation. And it's much easier than trying to watch The Wizard Of Oz on mute with Dark Side Of The Moon playing.--CroutonBoy

Top 20 Movies Of 1981 (Nos. 1-5)

For this week's Ranked!, we compiled the twenty greatest movies from 1981. Tell us what you think when you get down to #1. And let us know if you would've ordered them differently.

Here are numbers 1-5:

5. The Road Warrior

A remote post-apocalyptic wasteland, ruthless gangs of petrol-crazy lunatics, and a man called Max: that's all it took to cook up a movie so good that it would cause legions of fans to watch it over and over and over. Think back to a time when Mel Gibson was a lovable ruffian rogue from the land down under and not a rant-spewing, unhinged outcast.

Okay, it's 1981 and this lean, gorgeous and somewhat dangerous Australian export comes blazing across the screen as the reluctant anti-hero of the Mad Max movies. The bleak future his only landscape, this lone wolf found himself thrust into situations he didn't care for one whit but inevitably became entangled with after much back and forth with his conscience. He wasn't always a stone cold survivalist drifter, he was once a family man who had to endure the brutal deaths of his kin and he's been moving ever since running from the past. I count this as one of Mel's best performances and I still get a little swoony when he marches onto the burning hot landscape in that tight leather ensemble. Pity the wardrobe person responsible for getting that smell out.--Dufmanno