Ranked!: Top 10 Bruce Willis Roles

In honor of the release of A Good Day To Die Hard, we decided to rank our ten favorite Bruce Willis roles:

10. Old Joe, Looper

First, if you haven't seen Looper yet, now is the time. It's one of the most intelligent and thrilling movies of the last year. As you would expect, Bruce Willis is the rock around which story revolves, his trademark mix of melancholia and wit punctuated by bursts of kinetic energy on full display. As Old Joe (to Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Young Joe) he bursts out of the screen and sends his young self--and the audience--on a whirlwind tour of how the decisions we make today impact the people we become tomorrow. It's the type of role Willis has always owned: self-aware, larger-than-life without being campy, and still utterly relatable. The list of actors who can pull that off is short indeed.--CroutonBoy

9. Korben Dallas, The Fifth Element

The Fifth Element is a film that could have very easily sucked. It's over the top, colorful, and has a lot of bad hair and wild costumes. But it's wildly entertaining, in large part thanks to Bruce Willis. He's charming and funny and has great chemistry with Milla Jovovich. He's like the colorful, graphic novel version of Han Solo and I'm OK with that. If anyone should take over the quippy handsome action mantle from Harrison Ford, it's Bruce.--Archphoenix

8. Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski, The Whole Nine Yards

Let's face facts: The Whole Nine Yards was not a great film. It's funny. It's cute. But it's not a masterpiece or anything. Nobody played against type: Bruce Willis played the smarmy, cocksure mobster contract killer and Matthew Perry plays the sweaty, unsure dentist. But yeah, I'd watch it again. And that's mostly because of Willis.

And Amanda Peet.--Chris

7. David Addison, Moonlighting

Moonlighting is where it all started, at least for me. The show--about a detective agency about as functionally believable as Ally McBeal's law firm--was supposed to be a showcase for Cybill Shepherd, but for me at least it was the Bruce Willis show. Willis was so funny and clever as David Addison that I was originally shocked when Willis did Die Hard; wasn't he a comedian? Willis took sarcasm to a whole 'nuther level on that show, and that patented smirk has stayed with him throughout his career. If you can find it, I highly recommend going back and finding the "Taming Of The Shrew" episode... Comic gold.--CroutonBoy

6. Dr. Malcolm Crowe, The Sixth Sense

I saw The Sixth Sense on a rainy afternoon at the Mall of America in Minneapolis. Two hours later, I went back and saw it again. Haley Joel Osment and the legendary twist ending are what people tend to remember, but Bruce Willis played Dr. Crowe masterfully. There was no shooting or sarcasm to be had in that role, just a man struggling to connect with his wife, help his patients, and understand why he was struggling so hard at both. I loved his performance, which like his character was at the center of the story yet somehow apart. It's a film that demands repeated viewings, and Bruce Willis is a big reason why.--CroutonBoy

5. Harry Stamper, Armageddon

Armageddon is pure explosions and cheese, one of the world's greatest bad movies. I know you've seen it, but just think about the plot: a group of guys who work on an oil rig become astronauts so they can go into space, land on an asteroid, and blow it up. Um, yeah.

But like most of the films on this list, Bruce Willis makes the movie. He plays the gruff dad who doesn't want his daughter marrying someone like him. But in the end, he realizes that his daughter really does love Affleck, and decides to save him and the rest of mankind.

Sniff.--Chris

4. James Cole, 12 Monkeys

12 Monkeys kind of starts off like it's going to be your usual Bruce Willis shoot 'em up film. And then it takes a weird left turn into Crazytown. Directed by Terry Gilliam, the film is a fantastically demented time trip of a sci-fi film and Bruce really pulls it off, the porn star mustache included. Brad Pitt got an Oscar nomination for his work in this film, and that's warranted. But I would argue that Pitt's performance wouldn't have worked without Willis's rock solid performance to reflect off of. It's an interesting flick and it reminded me that Willis actually has some serious acting chops when he decides to pull them out and use them. I love quippy action Willis, but serious Willis? He's a force to be reckoned with.--Archphoenix

3. David Dunn, Unbreakable

I think Unbreakable is a vastly underrated film. It's a superhero origin film before those were in vogue. And, more importantly, nobody knew it WAS a superhero film until it came out. So it was fun to watch the story unfold. But equally compelling as the fresh take on an old genre is Bruce's performance. After years of doing really loud films like Die Hard, it was refreshing to see him take on something... quieter. Because it's a very quiet and understated bit of acting he does in the film. He is vulnerable and interesting and, in my opinion, it is some of Bruce's best work.--Archphoenix

2. Butch Coolidge, Pulp Fiction

There's no doubt that Bruce Willis is a guy who likes to be in the spotlight. He is also dead certain that movies in which he is a top-billed character will succeed wildly, regardless of whether he brings his A-game to the role.

Given this, Willis's roles in Quentin Tarantino films are anomalies. Many (like his role in the fourth story in Four Rooms) are uncredited. And even those that are credited tend to be secondary or, at most, ensemble roles.

Butch, the worn out boxer who refuses to take a dive in Pulp Fiction, is one of the more fleshed-out of the bunch. He's actually only in about a quarter of the movie, but he makes a definite impression. Like John McClane, Butch is an everyman character. You don't realize it at first. When he wearily accepts a sizable bribe from Marcellus to take a dive in his last fight, you figure he's just another crook in a movie in which pretty much every character is, to some extent, a crook. The weird thing is that, in the end, Butch is one of only a couple characters in the film who turns out to be a stand-up guy. Sure, he steals from Marcellus--but he kind of balances that out in the end. And, yeah, he offs Vincent--but Vincent really had it coming. Alright...he also stole Zed's chopper. But Zed was dead, baby. Zed was dead.

Honestly, as I reflect on it, I think Butch Coolidge might well be one of the best roles Willis has ever played. He managed to reign in his cockiness and deliver a solid performance that really grounds the whole film.--Dave

1. John McClane, the Die Hard franchise

Die Hard was the movie that made me not hate Bruce Willis. After watching only a few episodes of Moonlighting, I made the firm decision to never watch anything starring that smarmy SOB. I know that at least some of that impression was of David Addison... but, after reading Kevin Smith's book Tough Sh*t--a good read, by the way--I know that there was a lot of Bruce Willis in David Addison's dickish persona.

Willis's portrayal of John McClane managed to transcend that, however. McClane (at least in the first two movies) was the "everyman" hero--a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time who has to do some amazingly dangerous stuff to get out of the situation alive. There's definitely some of that cocksure David Addison-ness in McClane, but it's organic to the story and takes a back seat to the desperation. And the violence, of course.

Not that my movie dollars could have a noticeable effect on Bruce Willis's bottom line... but he should be thanking John McClane. Without that character, I would have happily boycotted Bruce Willis for life. Or, at least, until I became a Quentin Tarantino fan.--Dave

Recycle your old Bruce Willis movies (and any others you don't watch anymore) at musicMagpie, where you can exchange your old DVDs, CDs, and video games for cash! This is great if you are upgrading to Blu-Ray for those extra effects, and have a load of unwanted DVDs leftover, as whilst making some cash you are also recycling your products.

Ranked! Top 20 High School Movies

For this week's Ranked, we decided to rank our twenty favorite high school movies. Did we get it right? Forget any? Let us know in the comments.

20. Better Off Dead

"I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years. I'm no dummy." --Charles de Mar

Apart from being one of the funniest movies ever made, Better Off Dead is high on my list of best high school movies ever. This is one of those movies that I watched back in the day and said, "Man... I wish that was MY high school." By the time I saw the movie (I didn't catch it in the theaters), I was an avid skier. I would have LOVED to have a ski team in high school. Of course, in Maryland, it would have sucked... but, still.

Skiing and absurdities aside, Better Off Dead also fit the "geeky underdog wins in the end" theme that I tend to like in my high school movies. Nobody plays a geeky underdog better than John Cusack.--Dave

19. Can't Hardly Wait

Ah, Can't Hardly Wait. I used to go to the movies to watch this when I needed a break from my exams back in 1998. I couldn't wait for them to be over, so the title spoke to me. The central story of Ethan Embry's unrequited love for Jennifer Love Hewitt at her perky-boobed, big-haired peak was the least interesting thing about this film, considering so much happened at the post-graduation house party full of jocks, cool chicks, wannabes, and outcasts, played by an impressive roll-call of actors: Seth Green, Lauren Ambrose (no one could forget the classic line, "There's a mirror right there. Take a look. You're white."), Jaime Pressly, Melissa Joan Hart, Peter Facinelli, Selma Blair, Jerry O'Connell, Clea DuVall, Freddy Rodriguez, Sara Rue, and Jason Segel (he was the guy who offered Jennifer Love Hewitt some watermelon). In short, that’s a damn successful graduating class. Plus, I can't listen to Guns N' Roses' "Paradise City" without remembering the kid from Hook grabbing the mic and ripping off his shirt. Remember this line? "Nobody drink the beer. The beer has gone bad!" I'm so watching this movie again tonight!--Bree

18. Election

Tracy Flick is one of the greatest overachievers ever. Her win-at-all-costs attitude, coupled with her sugary sweet outward appearance, makes her a deadly foe. This satire openly mocks politics and high school.

We've got the tough principal, the dumb jock, the teacher who appears to be phoning it in, the good-two-shoes lead, infidelity, scandal, and more. If you haven't already seen it, it probably sounds pretty awesome based on the above, right? Check it out. It's awesome.

Pick Flick!--Chris

17. American Pie

My high school and college years fell smack in the middle of the golden age of the T&A Teen Movie craze. Porky's, The Last American Virgin, Porky's 2, Caddyshack... These were films that ostensibly had a plot, but were really about a bunch of horny teenage boys getting laid. In the '80s, it seemed like a new Porky's wannabe film opened every week.

This film genre fell by the wayside in the ensuing decades, and wasn't properly resurrected until American Pie hit the theaters in 1999. Light on plot, heavy on likable (if shallow) characters, and even heavier on comical sexcapades, American Pie was the first film in over a decade to get the formula right. It was a modernized take on those R-rated "gems" that my friends and I liked to rent on VHS and watch on Saturday nights back in the day.

None of the sequels quite managed to capture that lowbrow magic that the original had, but American Pie opened the door for other even better films of this type, like Superbad (which, arguably, has a great deal more substance and transcends the genre). At any rate, American Pie still stands up as a fun film 14 years after it was made. (Doesn't seem that long ago, does it?)--Dave

16. Rushmore

Out of all the movies on this list, this probably felt the least like a high school movie, which is weird because a lot of the scenes actually take place in school. Rushmore is the story of Max Fischer who, like Election's Tracy Flick, is an overachiever. He belongs to every club in school, and he started half of them. He's in love with a teacher at the school, who actually likes Max's fifty-year-old best friend (Herman Blume). This is a sweet movie with a vicious side. Watching Max and Herman go at it, laying booby traps for each other, is one of the highlights of the film.

But yes, this film is also about school. There is a secondary plot which involves Max trying to become friends with kids his own age while putting together the world's greatest high school theatrical production ever.

Max Fischer is my hero.--Chris

Ranked!: Top 15 Old School Games

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to take a look at our favorite games where you didn't need batteries, a computer, or a television (although many have made the electronic jump since) to have a good time.

15. Mousetrap

Before there were OK Go videos, there was Mousetrap. Like an intricately choreographed domino arrangement, players carefully assemble the Rube Goldberg machine in hopes that they can maneuver an opponent under the mouse cage. How was it assembled? I can't remember. How did you get your opponent under the cage? Couldn't tell you. Why? Because the whole marvelous point of the game was the machine, a spectacularly fun contraption with boots kicking over barrels, which deposit marbles onto ramps, which eventually trigger a diver to jump off a see-saw into a tub (if you were lucky... it wasn't the most foolproof machine) which would shake the cage off a pole (or halfway down the pole... again, not the most foolproof machine). Hours could be spent analyzing, constructing, and deconstructing the device without a thought to the game itself, which for my parents meant it was a game I could play alone. And THAT, as all parents know, is worth its weight in gold.--CroutonBoy

14. Cranium

You know what makes Cranium a great game? It combines elements from other games, namely Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit, and Scrabble. So basically, it's got something for everyone. This is a game that's fun for both creative and non-creative people. Are you a geek who's all about trivia? You're in luck, but there's a good chance you might have to mold something out of clay later.

Plus, I always loved the odd little mascots on the game's box.--Chris

13. Sorry!

In the years following my college graduation, my buddies and I hung out and played a lot of Sorry! Why would a bunch of young adults with the world at their fingers spend so much time on a board game designed for kids, you might ask? It's because Sorry! is a deceptively simple game that brought out our competitive spirit. For the uninitiated, the goal is to get your four pieces around the board to your safe zone before your opponents. Sorry! is more than just a game of chance. There's a bit of strategy as well as a social aspect. Players can sometimes send an opponent's piece back to the start. So it pays not to make enemies around the board. I've played a lot of Sorry! in my days and have recently introduced it to my kids. It's one of those games that has stood the test of time and literally proven to be fun for all ages.--Daddy Geek Boy

12. Life

One of the things that I always liked about the game of Life is that it has a finite end, unlike Monopoly, which you can play for days. It's a fun but simple premise: spin a wheel, move your car, get to the end. There's some light decision making, but nothing too taxing. Some of the outcomes are kind of funny. It's a good game to play with your family as it encompasses all kinds of age ranges. And it translated well to a game on my iPhone, which I really dig.--Archphoenix

11. Scrabble

Every game on our top 15 list is a game that I've played, some more than others. I've been playing all of them since I was a kid. Some fell by the wayside along the way (I was probably six the last time I played Mousetrap). Most of them have a lot of staying power, though--but no game more than Scrabble. I've always loved the game and, thanks to Facebook and Electronic Arts, it's the one game I play every single day. In fact, I usually have at least three games going at any given time. For someone who ostensibly writes for a living, I'm not very good at it--I lose about twice as often as I win. I guess I've never really gotten good at the strategy of the game. But that doesn't stop me from playing. It's a great game and it's the perfect board game for online play.

Which reminds me... I haven't played my turns today.--Dave

Ranked!: Top 20 Television Neighbors

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to take a look at our favorite television neighbors!

20. Lewis & Oswald, The Drew Carey Show

The Drew Carey Show is one of the great comedies of the '90s. I loved the show's sensibilities, goofy and good-natured without devolving into treacle. So much of what made the show work came from Lewis & Oswald, the enthusiastic dimwit and the indolent genius. I'm not even sure where they lived, but they were always there, as they had nothing else to do but be the kind of buffoonery normally relegated to cartoons. But unlike so many TV neighbors they seemed genuine, never falling back on tag lines and feeling somehow recognizable and relatable, the type of guys you could totally see yourself having a beer with. They had a spark of improvisational energy that was unique among TV neighbors, and we could use more of their goofy charm on TV today.--CroutonBoy

19. Rhoda Morgenstern, The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Oh, Rhoda. Life must've been hard for you. What was it like being friends with a luminous Prom Queen like Mary Richards? Despite the fact that you were her BFF, there must've have been nights when you sat in your own dingy studio, thinking about Little Miss Perfect with her beautiful apartment, her exciting job in television, her svelteness, her carefully crafted awkwardness designed to draw in all those charming sideburned suitors... Meanwhile, you were the quirky, abrasive pal with the irritating mother and the string of laughable boyfriends who went out with you because of your "great personality" only to dump you before episode's end.

I like to imagine you in your dark apartment, one floor above your best friend, sitting at your vanity with black candles burning around you, slowly poking needles into your Mary Richards voodoo doll. Sure, you got your own show later. Sure, you eventually got a better job, going from a window dresser to a photographer. You even married a lovable roughneck named Joe. But let's face the truth, Rhoda. Always a bridesmaid, am I right?--Didactic Pirate

18. Mr. Feeny, Boy Meets World

Mr. Feeny: "Do good."

Topanga: "Don't you mean do well?"

Mr. Feeny: "No. I mean do *good.*"

That is one of many favorite quotes from this show (from the finale), and regularly among my list of moments of television that are sure to make me cry every time. Mr. Feeny will forever go down as the greatest teacher television has ever seen. He's literally watched these kids grow up, having taught them throughout their lives and straight in to college. While he remains stoic and proper as much as he can (and we respect him for that), we see his love for these kids as more than students - as his friends. It's rare to see this in a student-teacher relationship, and fi you have it (as I do) hold on tight. We should all be so lucky as to have a Fee-he-heeny in our lives!--J-Hawke

17. Skippy, Family Ties

I know I've mentioned it before, but it bears repeating that I was kind of a geeky loser in high school. I was also someone who was (for whatever sick reason) unable to learn the lesson that trying to get a date with a girl who was way out of my league (and, in many cases, in a completely different sport) was a recipe for constant misery.

That being the case, how could the hapless Skippy Handleman not be one of my favorite TV neighbors of all time? Skippy was, for all intents and purposes, me. And Mallory Keaton was every hot girl I ever tried to get a date with who was happy to unload her problems on the poor geeky guy who would do anything in the world for her but was, alas, destined to fall head-over-heels for some idiot with two brain cells and a motorcycle.

Sigh.

But Skippy... or, at least, Marc Price... got his revenge on the cool kids a few years later in the hilarious horror movie Trick Or Treat. (Good stuff... you should check it out if you can find it.) Me? I just gave up on being cool and embraced the geeky. Sometimes that works out.--Dave

16. Fred and Ethel Mertz, I Love Lucy

If anybody sets the gold standard for lovable TV neighbors, it's Fred and Ethel Mertz. Were they appropriately nosy? Check. Did they enter the Ricardos' home without knocking, under the pretense of borrowing a cup of sugar? Frequently. Take part in wacky schemes and capers? Indubitably. Go with the Ricardos on family trips? All the time. (Hollywood, Europe, Japan...) Some say the funny foursome had a co-dependent group dynamic. Well, sure. It was a little weird when the Mertzes followed the Ricardos all the way to Connecticut when Lucy and Ricky decided to move out of the city. But the fact is, this frumpy couple in all their vitriolic glory rounded out one of the greatest comedy families in television. You don't have Ricky and Lucy without Fred and Ethel. And you wouldn't want to.--Didactic Pirate

Top 20 Albums Of 1995

For this week's Ranked!, we ranked our favorite albums of 1995. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!

20. Poe, Hello

I'm not gonna lie, I really loved this album when it came out, starting with the song "Angry Johnny" because I had just been in a stupid college break-up and, well, angry chick song. It's an eclectic mix of electronic, hip hop, and a little bit of a jazzy rhythm and had all kinds of geeky references. I'm actually bummed she's only ever released two albums because she had a lot of potential for some interesting stuff.--Archphoenix

19. Foo Fighters, Foo Fighters

Dave Grohl gets it. Perhaps alone among his peers of musicians that emerged in the '90s, Dave Grohl seems to know he has an effortless grasp of the essence of rock and roll. How else to explain the emergence of the Foo Fighters from the long shadow of Nirvana to become of the greatest rock bands of the last 20 years. I was skeptical of their debut album when it came out--he was just a drummer, wasn't he?--but damn if Foo Fighters didn't hit that perfect balance of raging guitars, killer hooks, and middle-finger-in-the-air attitude. While other bands wrung their hands with teenage angst or sweated to prove they were "alternative," Foo Fighters seemed to want to crowd-surf and drink beers backstage like the rest of us. Isn't that what rock is all about?--CroutonBoy

18. Ani DiFranco, Not A Pretty Girl

Angry girl with guitar, scathing wit, and musical talent? Sold. The big song on this one is, of course, "32 Flavors," but her song "Shy" is pretty fantastic, especially live.--Archphoenix

17. Joan Osbourne, Relish

I love love LOVE Joan Osborne's voice. It's smoky sexy folksy and delicious. The big song, "One of Us," got a ton of airplay at the time, but for my money I love "Spider Web," "St. Theresa," "Ladder," and her cover of Bob Dylan's "Man In The Long Black Coat" isn't half bad.--Archphoenix

16. Green Day, Insomniac

Not as funny as its predecessor, Dookie, Insomniac was still a great album by the Berkley trio. Still to this day, I crank the radio extra loud when "Brain Stew" bleeds into the chaotic "Jaded."--Chris

Top 20 Albums Of 1994

For this week's Ranked!, we ranked our favorite albums of 1994. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!

20. Bad Religion, Stranger Than Fiction

Stranger Than Fiction takes off from "Incomplete" and doesn't stop to breathe until ten songs later. That it was Bad Religion's first major label album is almost an afterthought, so well does it fit in with the rest of their work. The title track shows their knack for packing entire paragraphs of lyrics into an incredibly catchy two or three minute song. Great lines fly by at steady clip. "Life is the crummiest book I ever read." "You're clear as a heavy lead curtain." They blend fierce intelligence with melodic sensibility and serious guitar. "Slumber" is another highlight, the rise and fall of its melody matching the gentle urgency of the lyrics. Just the thing to listen to when nothing is going well. Then there is the eerily accurate "21st Century Digital Boy," declaring "I don't know how to read but I got a lot of toys." Even if things are a bit too strange, Bad Religion can always see through it.--Amanda

19. Daniel Johnston, Fun

There is something so utterly naive and laid-bare-on-the-floor pathetically genuine about Daniel Johnston's music, the way he sings with his unaffected vocal tremble as if any moment he might break down and cry. Within the childlike simplicity of lyrics like, "I've got to really try/try so hard to get by/and where am I going to?" we discover a universal and profoundly heartbreaking sense of truth. It reminds me of this one quote from a David Foster Wallace short story called "Oblivion:" "What goes on inside is just too fast and huge and all interconnected for words to do more than barely sketch the outlines of at most one tiny little part of it at any given instant." And somehow Daniel Johnston seems capable of doing this, of gathering together the infinite weight of the world and delivering it back to us in the simplest of melodies. In Fun, however, we see less the tortured soul he exhibited in earlier albums/uneven homemade cassette tapes and more the kind of Daniel Johnston that likes to have fun. His first major-label moment (while sounding very un-major label), Fun is one of Johnston's most upbeat albums. Don't let this shift in mood fool you, however. Fun is definitely a Daniel Johnston at his best.--Jacqueline

18. Liz Phair, Whip-Smart

Exile In Guyville gets all the accolades, but Whip-Smart was more fun. "Supernova" kicked in the mainstream door (or at least the alterna-mainstream) and introduced Phair to a larger audience. Favorite tracks: "Dogs of L.A.," "Cinco De Mayo," and the title track with its strange music video.--Chris

17. Portishead, Dummy

If I were to have blindingly passionate mind-altering sex, it would probably be to this album. The sultry hue of Beth Gibbon's voice, Adrian Utley's masterful guitar work, and Geoff Barrow's heart-dropping beats pull me in to a world where all sensory experience becomes feverish and synesthetic. Choice songs to be played under the sheets include: "Mysterons," "Sour Times," "Roads," and "Glory Box."--Jacqueline

16. Various Artists, Reality Bites Soundtrack

This is another one of those albums that I strongly associate with college. You'd walk through the dorms and would inevitably hear someone blasting "My Sharona." Ben Stiller's film perfectly captured the twentysomethings of the day and set it to a killer soundtrack.--Archphoenix

Top 20 Albums Of 1993

For this week's Ranked!, we ranked our favorite albums of 1993. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments!

20. Goo Goo Dolls, Superstar Car Wash

Goo still plays a song or two from this live, as a surprise to the diehard fans. One of my best friends and I totally freaked at a concert when they launched into their more hardcore songs from this album, and the performance was awesome. This was such a cool album for fans, because the guys were still pretty hardcore rockers, but brought on some more understandable lyrical work. Their evolution musically has been so cool, growing with fans and somehow maintaining their roots, and I think this was a pivotal point in that long career. There are few albums I write up on for these lists that I immediately want to go back and listen to at that moment, but trust me, on this one I'm heading right for the CD player.--J-Hawke

19. Flaming Lips, Transmissions From The Satellite Heart

The Flaming Lips have always been a strange and fearless band with demented lyrics and genuinely original ideas. Sometimes that mix would result in a misfire, other times it would blend together beautifully, creating powerful musical stew. This album (their SIXTH!) was the one that sold me on the band and made me a lifelong disciple of Wayne Coyne and company. It contained the radio friendly "She Don't Use Jelly" which, when you think about it, should have been on a censor's hit list, and a lovely cover of Ed Rush's "Plastic Jesus." It's the go-to record I recommend for anyone looking to take a first listen to the band before dragging them dressed as a gargantuan white bunny to one of their concerts.--Dufmanno

18. Sarah McLachlan, Fumbling Toward Ecstasy

This is one of those albums that I wore out on my 5-disc CD changer back in college. I think my favorite track, because it's gorgeous, is the first song, "Posession," partly because it's misunderstood. I remember at the time gals at school were talking about it being a nice love song but sorry drunk college girls, it's sung from the point of view of a guy stalking Sarah, based on her experiences with a kind of crazed fan. In fact, she got SUED by a stalker because he claimed she used his crazy letters as the basis for the song. The legal case went nowhere because the stalker killed himself. True story.--Archphoenix

17. Mariah Carey, Music Box

I got into Mariah Carey because my older cousin, who I thought was sooo cool, was a big fan. When I started buying CDs, I tried to complete a whole catalog of her music (I still haven't, sadly). However, I did manage to secure Music Box, her 1993 release. The two singles that stand out in particular to me are "Dreamlover" and "Hero," though I know there were two more ("Without You/Never Forget You" and "Anytime You Need a Friend"). "Dreamlover" was fun though, and "Hero" was inspiring. I remember the resurgence of the song during 9/11, and that is just a song that is forever lovely. The album, as a whole, is seen as among her most mellow work, but I have to say that I love this side of Mariah. She's classy here, and shows people a lyrical side of her as opposed to just a beauty with an incredible vocal range. There's a real, respectable young lady there and Music Box really took her to a different place in her career.--J-Hawke

16. New Order, Republic

New Order's Republic is largely known for its in-fighting during the recording sessions—hence its widely mixed reviews—but readers should be reminded of the fact that Fleetwood Mac's brilliant and inspired album Rumours was riddled with backstage conflict, as well as The Beatles' Let It Be (which also garnered varied opinions, but eventually received recognition as #392 in Rolling Stone's 2012 list of "The 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time"). It is perhaps during these moments of turmoil that brilliant artists are able to channel that negative energy and leave us with something deeply human and frighteningly relatable. Republic's first single "Regret" appears, on the surface, to lack the tenebrous mark of many previous New Order songs. Rather, it has a carefree John Hughes-like quality—Hook's bass ever present, Sumner's voice lighter and livelier—though not without that muted color palate, which suggests a tone of concession and (appropriately) regret. It's not often you'll find a band continue to evolve after ten years of major success (not including their many years as Joy Division). Too often we see aged musicians idle in their artistic output, producing the same album over and over, eventually staling on stage and falling out from the public eye, not because of backstage turmoil but because of a refusal or an inability to grow. In Republic, New Order rises to the occasion. Songs like "World" and "Young Offender" introduce us to a more modern danceable version of their previous work, and others like "Special" and "Everyone Everywhere" continue to give us the stronger yet more subtle qualities of Sumner's voice that we've all come to love. It's not hard to understand why Republic is one of our Top 20 Albums of '93. It is, in fact, one of New Order's best.--Jacqueline

Top 20 Albums Of 1992

We've done the '80s, so we're turning our attention to the '90s!

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our twenty favorite albums released in 1992. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments.

20. Stone Temple Pilots, Core

Stone Temple Pilots are the Rodney Dangerfield of grunge. Despite the fact that the band had five Top 40 hits and won a Grammy, an AMA, and a VMA, Stone Temple Pilots never received the respect that bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden did. This is the album that introduced them to the world and boasted greatest-hit worthy tracks like "Sex Type Thing," "Wicked Garden," "Creep," and "Plush." Personally, I'd rather listen to STP than Pearl Jam.--Chris

19. Nirvana, Incesticide

In the aftermath of Nevermind, all things from Seattle seemed perfect and cool (except my beloved Seahawks, of course). You could sense the music industry dumping the last of the detritus onto the market as it desperately groomed Nirvana soundalikes like Sponge and Bush. In that brief period, Nirvana reminded everyone why they were relevant in the first place with Incesticide, a collection of demos and other songs previously only available in the fan community. Releases like that are usually crappy cash-ins, but this album is as visceral and stunning as the rest of Nirvana's catalog. As far as I'm concerned, some of Nirvana's very best songs are here, particularly the magnificent "Sliver" and "Aneurysm." It's an essential document of the early years of grunge, and rocks so hard it will make your ears bleed.--CroutonBoy

18. Erasure, Abba-esque

It's the ultimate in cheese--Erasure covering ABBA--and I freaking love it. The whole album is on my housecleaning playlist because you can't NOT dance to the thing. It even makes mopping the floors fun.--Archphoenix

17. Alice In Chains, Dirt

1991 saw the birth of grunge, and 1992 brought it to the mainstream. And one band that wasn't technically "grunge" but still benefited from the return-to-rock movement was Alice In Chains. Led by guitarist and Jerry Cantrell and the haunting vocals of Layne Staley, Dirt was Alice In Chains' biggest-selling album and brought us songs like "Them Bones," "Rooster," and "Would?," which can also be found on the Singles soundtrack (which shows up a little later on this list).--Chris

16. Various Artists, The Bodyguard Sountrack

Every girl between the ages of 8 and 28 had this album when it came out. It's literally the best-selling soundtrack ever and went 17 times platinum. It made Whitney the first ever to sell a million copies of an album in a single week. EVER. And that Dolly Parton cover is amazing. Admit it, you belted it out in the shower. It's ok, we all did.--Archphoenix

Top 20 Albums Of 1991

We've done the '80s, so we're turning our attention to the '90s!

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our twenty favorite albums released in 1991. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments.

20. Gloria Estefan, Into The Light

I remember vaguely being a really big Gloria fan when I was younger. Now, while I can't necessarily remember all of her songs, I do remember consistently feeling happy whenever they came on. This particular album resonates even later on because of the emotion she managed to put into it. Her famous and tragic accident during the Get On Your Feet Tour prompted the theme of this album: coming back from the darkness of a disaster. "Coming Out Of The Dark" is the obvious big one from it, and throughout she still stays very proud and strong in her roots of Latin music. This is a strong woman, who of course has only managed to get more admirable with time.--J-Hawke

19. KLF, The White Room

The White Room is a pretty terrific album. It was a kind of the introduction to the '90s electronic music subculture. It's part new wave, part punk rock, and all kinds of electronic party rave. It was a crazy artistic political statement album and it's pure stadium anthem sound. We still listen to this album regularly at my house.--Archphoenix

18. Teenage Fanclub, Bandwagonesque

Back in '91, I was a DJ at a small college radio station. One of the albums that received heavy play from me that year was Bandwagonesque and, in particular, "What You Do To Me," a song so awesome and Big Starish you really expect to see Alex Chilton behind the mic in the video. I loved this album so much it eventually led to the CD receiving a big "CHRIS CAN NOT PLAY THIS" sticker on the jewel case from my tiny and bossy station manager.--Chris

17. Temple Of The Dog, Temple Of The Dog

How huge was grunge in '91? So huge that a tribute album, a genre generally sent directly to the used section of the CD store, became a massive hit. Temple Of the Dog definitely benefited from its pedigree, a supergroup stitched together from Soundgarden and Pearl Jam honoring a member of Mother Love Bone. But it also had a killer tracklist easily on par with any Soundgarden or Pearl Jam album. In some ways it holds up better than the early albums of those bands, having never suffered the degree of overexposure they did (with the possible exception of "Hunger Strike"). Listening to it today can conjure up nostalgia for the glory days of grunge while still delivering the energy and raw power those bands could unleash back in the day, and rests comfortably in the Seattle pantheon next to Nevermind, Ten, and Badmotorfinger.--CroutonBoy

16. Public Enemy, Apocalypse 91... The Enemy Strikes Black

Public Enemy in the late '80s and early '90s was unstoppable. Their assault was relentless, their lyrics were raw and unapologetic, and their music and rhythm had a depth that few (if any) rap groups could approach. Apocalypse '91: The Enemy Strikes Back continued and combined the aggressive thrust of their previous two efforts, It Takes A Nation Of Millions and Fear Of A Black Planet, and further refined it for their suddenly huge, multi-colored audience. Public Enemy was a force of nature by 1991, and hard-charging songs like "Shut 'Em Down," "Can't Truss It," and "I Don't Wanna Be Called Yo Nigga" showed they were still angry and unwilling to back down from what they saw and believed. Add to that the brilliant crossover "Bring Tha Noize" featuring Anthrax, which showed that the frustration and disillusionment of urban black youth and suburban white youth had the same roots, and you've get one of the greatest rap albums of all time.--CroutonBoy

Top 20 Albums Of 1990

We've done the '80s, so we're turning our attention to the '90s!

For this week's Ranked!, we decided to rank our twenty favorite albums released in 1990. Did we get it right? Let us know in the comments.

20. The London Quireboys, A Bit Of What You Fancy

A Bit Of What You Fancy was the debut album from The Quireboys, or The London Quireboys as they were known in the U.S. It was a dozen hard-rockin' tunes that came out during the last dying days of hair metal. The Quireboys had a bluesy feel to them, not unlike Cinderella, but sounding closer at times to Faces. Some of the best songs on the album were "7 O'Clock," "Sweet Mary Ann," "Hey You," and "I Don't Love You Anymore," a ballad that still kicks ass.--Chris

19. Various Artists, Pretty Woman Soundtrack

My mom was pretty strict about me being the right age to see movies so when Pretty Woman came out with its hookers and R rating, my mom firmly said no. Then I went to visit a good friend who'd moved to Omaha and HER mom said, "Shh, don't tell your mom." And then kinda regretted that during the sex on the piano scene. Every girl I knew ran to grab that soundtrack. With the title song and an epic Roxette song, it was in pretty heavy rotation at my house for a good long time.--Archphoenix

18. Warrant, Cherry Pie

If you were doing a term paper on hair metal (shut up, it could happen) and were looking to find a video that truly represented the genre, you'd be hard pressed to find a better example than the video to Warrant's "Cherry Pie." The video, starring Bobbie Brown (who has been in numerous hair band videos), showed the band acting goofy, dressed in the uniform of the day: spandex, leather, and bandannas. Bot the video and song were blatantly sexual unapologetically dumb. And freaking awesome. R.I.P. Jani Lane. R.I.P. hair metal.--Chris

17. Wilson Phillips, Wilson Phillips

This is one of those albums that people are ashamed to admit they like but you know what? You shouldn't be ashamed. This album made Wilson Phillips the best-selling female group of all time. It spawned three #1 songs. And it had three talented young women who were the daughters of some pretty amazing musicians (Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys and John & Michelle Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas). They had the pedigree, the vocal talent, and I still think Chynna's short hair is one of the cutest hair cuts ever. This album rocks, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.--Archphoenix

16. Green Day, 39/Smooth

You can almost hear the highway rumbling overhead in the background of 39/Smooth, Green Day’s quickly recorded debut album. But you can also hear something special in the works. Songs like "Rest" and "Going To Pasalaqua" display a melodic sensibility quite advanced for a bunch of high school kids. "I Was There" is so much fun to sing that it will never leave your head, while "16" holds up a mirror to teenage life and makes the crazy things it finds there better. When you start out that well, it’s not hard to imagine selling out stadiums later.--Amanda