Victim: Black Swan Trailer

Hello and welcome to Smacktalk, where each week we attack mock critique a music video or movie trailer. This week, we're taking a look at the trailer for Black Swan. Hope ya love it!

Didactic Pirate: Hmm. Ballet movie. Does that mean there are no car chases? Or robots? Pass. (0:14)

A Vapid Blonde: You say dream, I say nightmare (0:14)

Chag: Nice support, Mom! (0:27)

A Vapid Blonde: I do that move ALL the time, in fact I am doing it right now. (0:28)

Mamatulip: Barbara Hershey! I haven't seen her in a movie since I sobbed my way through Beaches! Wait, did I say that out loud? (0:29)

Mamatulip: She said Lily, right? Not Meg Griffin? (:39)

Didactic Pirate: Hi, That '70s Show girl! I like you. You should get more work. (0:40)

Chag: "Seduce us. Attack it! Attack it!" That's what she said. (0:50)

A Vapid Blonde: Apparently Mom thinks that being slutty is really, really sweet. Where did my parents go wrong? (0:57)

Didactic Pirate: Ok, we've got a horrible stage mom, a potential ballerina cat fight, and a lurky director groping Natalie Portman's leg. I'm feeling a little more on board. (0:58)

Chag: Me, too. The Van Halen reference helped. (0:59)

Chag: So will critics be comparing this to Single White Female or Mommie Dearest? (1:07)

Didactic Pirate: Wait. Go back. What just happened in the mirror? This just got interesting. (1:15)

A Vapid Blonde: What the hell is that? Oh, a ballerina leg bone. How cute. (1:16)

Chag: Ladies and gentleman, your highest grossing movie of 2010! (1:27)

Didactic Pirate: Girl on girl! Girl on girl! (Sorry.) (1:28)

A Vapid Blonde: You call that art? It hurts my ears AND my eyes, get rid of it! (1:35)

Didactic Pirate: Whoa -- there's suddenly A LOT happening. I'm getting a scary dude in a mask, pictures on the wall that move, and a lot of very dramatic violins in the background. It's like Aronofsky just woke up from his nap. (1:36)

Chag: FREEZE IT! I know there's a female writhing on the bed in the foreground, but I'm more concerned with that bunny in the tutu in the background. I think it's behind all of this. (1:37)

A Vapid Blonde: Hey, it's Adam Ant! I didn't know he was in this. (1:38)

Chag: Ok. What the hell was that she just pulled out of her skin?

A Vapid Blonde: Wow, that must have been some party. Also? It's called Visine. (1:55)

Didactic Pirate: Visine can't help with Evil Zombie Eyes. (1:56)

Didactic Pirate: Looks spooky. Hooked me in without giving much away. You know what? I'm in. (2:00)

A Vapid Blonde: All anxiety aside, after watching this I will definitely see this one. (2:00)

Chag: Meh. You two have fun. (2:01)

Mamatulip: I'll see it, too. I love ballet, evil ballet, evil swans, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. And Van Halen. (2:01)

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