Next To The Walkman And Tab, Girls Just Want To Have Fun Is One Of The Coolest Things Of The ‘80s

It's Sarah Jessica Parker's birthday on March 25th, so I can't think of a better time to pay homage to one of her most awesome films. It's Girls Just Want To Have Fun, the greatest dance movie of the '80s after Dirty Dancing. And Footloose. And Flashdance. And Fame. Well, it's still pretty damn good and here's why...

The Girls Went On To Become Famous

The movie opens with Sarah Jessica Parker as Army brat Janey delivering a monologue to her new class about her daydream that someday she'd make it to Chicago, "because that's where they make Dance TV." She absentmindedly slips one foot out of her shoe and points it, showing the audience the trained dancer desperate to leap out of her private school shackles. Oh Janey, you will get to be on Dance TV!

Her hopeful speech appeals to the sense of adventure in Lynn Stone, aka Helen Hunt, and she quickly befriends Janey. Yes, before her Oscar win, Helen Hunt got to deliver one of the best introductory lines for a character. Ever. Ripping off her school uniform sleeves after she sits next to Janey on the bus, she says, "Velcro. Next to the Walkman and Tab, it is the coolest invention of the 20th century." Lynn also got to wear the best outfits; I can't be the only one who wanted her grasshopper hat, and she did a pretty rad dance move at her Dance TV audition, whipping her hair round and round before combing her fingers through it. Sometimes my best friend and I bust out this move when we're drunk on a dance floor. I'll protect her by not revealing her name.

A pre-Heathers and Beverly Hills 90210 Shannen Doherty played the little sister of Janey's what's-his-name love interest, who memorably squeals with delight when she's mistaken for a punk, exclaiming, "It's not as cool as nu-wave, but it's a lot better than pre-teen!" Cue Shannen Doherty's future of delivering some amazing lines. Digressing, here are some of Brenda Walsh’s finest (because they need to be remembered):

To Emily Valentine [sarcastically]: "Have a good time at the gynecologist."

About Emily Valentine after she leaves a cake on the Walsh family doorstep to apologize for slipping Brandon a drug called U4EA, aka Ecstasy: "Brandon, don't! This cake could be dosed with U4EA. Or worse!"

In response to Kelly defending herself against the bimbo label after Brenda catches her on a date with Dylan: "I was always taught that if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck..."

And to Kelly and Dylan after they reveal they are now a couple: "I hate you both! Never talk to me again!"

Now, where were we? Ah yes, Girls Just Want To Have Fun and...

The Hunk

Okay, so the what's-his-name love interest was actually pretty cute and looked a lot like Joey Lawrence from Blossom. He was so cute that he got to the Dance TV finals by simply running around the stage at his audition, punching the air and doing an army role. FYI, the actor's name is Lee Montgomery and the character's name was Jeff.

Yeah, I'd definitely still go there...

This Movie Had The Best Teen Bitch To Ever Grace The Silver Screen (Or VHS, At Least)

I realize this is a huge call. After all, Natalie Sands, played by Holly Gagnier, has Regina George and Heather Chandler to compete with. But with a revolving wardrobe and an attitude, Janey's nemesis was an evil, fucked-up version of daddy's little rich girl Cher Horowitz. "My shrink is right," she pouts while filing her nails and talking to her father on speaker phone. "I'm unloved, unappreciated, I only have one car." Um, who is this shrink that's telling her that? No wonder she's such a bitch!

Anyway, she ends the phone conversation with the words, "I'm going to be on that show, Daddy, and I don't want to hear another word about it." She throws down her nail file. "Now you've made me late!" Oh. May. Zing.

The Montage

No '80s movie was complete without a montage and Girls Just Want To Have Fun had a great one, complete with Jeff lifting a spiral kicking Janey off to their Dance TV destiny.

Have a good one, SJP.

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